I'm afraid I'm never going to find the girl I'm looking for, I can't even look very far, long, or often because I don't have my drivers license, I don't have a job, and my parents won't even let me do the one social related thing I want to do (Take Martial Arts lessons) I can't control my anger half the time, I'm probably at the bottom of the food chain (at school) I'm no jock, and even if/when I find the right person what do I do? I've never been brave around girls I don't know. And otherwise all I got is my bionicle and Yu-gi-oh collections and the stories I write.
2006-06-23 08:18:31 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
You can't expect to find the right person by the time you get out of school. High school (middle school?) is just for enjoying yourself, not for finding a serious relationship.
2006-06-23 08:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by Leon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are just a kid and have a whole lifetime ahead of you to find "the girl." Odds are that even if you had a girlfriend, she is not your life mate. You will need to grow up a lot more (think done with college, gainfully employed and living on your own) before you should even think of getting serious.
(though dating in the meantime IS a good idea and fun too)
Why are your parents shutting down your social life and independence? There is always a reason. Do you know why? If you don't you need to ask them.
Sitting down with them and talking is probably your best first choice and see what it takes to make a change. If they don't listen well, ask another trusted adult, maybe a minister or other family member, to mediate the discussion.
You will summon up the courage to talk to girls when you are ready. Everyone matures at a different rate and it can't be rushed. Trust me you will manage it. Try learning to have girls as "just friends" first. You will learn alot from a girl friend about what girls want and think, and you'll get past being afraid to talk to them.
Oh..and bionicles and Yu-gi-oh are considered little kids stuff by most teens. Letting it out you do that stuff will be most uncool and will reduce the pool of interested ladies to almost nothing...
Other than that..you need not be a jock. Just be friendly and honest. BE CLEAN (dudes that don't shower..well...stink!). Girls don't find smelly and greasy attractive. Be a good student, losers aren't attractive either. Show pride in yourself (but don't be cocky) just learn to love who you are and your own gifts.
People like to be around people who like themselves. Learn to like yourself and you'll attract an interesting group of friends.
2006-06-23 15:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by Lori A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a bit too young to be worried about finding the "girl you're looking for" right now if you're still in high-school. Why won't your parents let you take martial arts? If it is the cost, offer to get a job to pay for the lessons. In the meantime, you can learn the principles of martial arts online that will help you control your anger. A lot of martial arts is dealing with the spiritual side of your self, which can be learned through books and the Internet. When you get your anger issues under control, it will help with talking to girls. We are very sensitive and can pick up on it when someone is feeling angry. You may not be a "jock", but exercise will also help with anger, and will boost your confidence. Try practicing talking to girls with your mother or another female relative. Just ask simple questions, things that help you get to know someone better. This is the same way you should approach girls in your school and neighborhood. You don't have to impress them, just talk to them about everyday things. Try meeting people in the library. The girls are smarter there, and will be easier to talk to.
2006-06-23 15:27:34 · answer #3 · answered by Georgia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it sounds like you are young. Since you have internet capability, look into Buddhism, meditation, and Tai Chi. Since you want to go into martial arts, these would be good ways to set the foundation if you can get into them when you are older. Second, some girls like that so-called "nerdy" stuff. You don't have to be brave, just be yourself. You ask them questions about themeselves and be a listener. Then, if you have knowledge on a topic, show it. That will impress them. Jocks are usually lame, and it may take them time to figure that out. Third of all, I found my soul mate after I stopped looking. I was 17, and just got married at 23. Be patient! They will come around!
2006-06-23 15:23:25 · answer #4 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you're taking Martial Arts lessons, you should try to control your anger. That is esentially one of the traits of a martial arts expert. Have you talked to you parents about how you feel? Involve yourself in some activities at school (clubs or organziations), give up the card games. Start by talking online to some people in your area. Get Myspace and add some friends and post them nice comments.
2006-06-23 15:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by nbinthahouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you kid?
You don't have a driver's license - go get one. And then go get a car.
Your life is going to suck for a while, and the parents, sometimes don't help much. Hang in there - the people who say high school is the best time of your life, are mostly going to end up feeling like you do now for the rest of THEIR lives.
As for anger, get this book:
FEELING GOOD HANDBOOK
I think it's by David Burns.
It has a section on anger.
Hang in there, it will pass in time. Good luck.
2006-06-24 00:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are doing alright. Lot's of other people are more worse off than you, trust me. When I was in high school my parents were drunks. They wouldn't let me drive. I had an after school job that was 3 miles from home. I used to sit in the empty resturant waiting for them to come pick me up. Most of the time they never did. I would then walk home alone. Sometimes I didn't see them for days.
As far as girls go, if you chase after them you might scare them away. Sit back and relax and they will eventually come to you. Take care and good luck.
2006-06-23 15:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by eddysmomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound pretty young to be so concerned that you will never find the girl of your dreams. Jump in too soon and she will probably turn out to be the opposite. You sound intelligent, why not join a club or pick up some extracurricular activities at school? You are bound to meet people who share your interests. Good luck to you, and try not to grow up too fast. There's no turning back the hands of time...
2006-06-23 15:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by Circe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're parents are still controlling what you do, and you still go to school, then it sounds like you're pretty young to be giving up on finding the perfect girl. I'm sure some day you'll some one who's perfect for you. And you said you write stories? Don't give up on that. If you're really desperate in like, 10-15 years, try E-Harmony.com. Good luck! ;-)
2006-06-23 15:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would recommend that you just focus on your school work and the stories that you write. Maybe you could publish your stories to a blog and then the girl that you are looking for might read it and you might fall in love and live happily ever after.
Maybe you could get a job and then pay for your own martial arts class?
2006-06-23 15:23:02 · answer #10 · answered by smallpiggygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋