I am under so much stress?

Question

I was in a car accident yesterday, I am struggling with someone at work, my grandpa may be dieing, and I am haveing relitives comming from out of town today, and my brother is in a bit of trouble with the law and my friend recently got busted with drugs and my job is interfearing with my social life

I am so tense and I am on the edge of a mental breakdown, and I haven't any vaca. time from work, I don't know what to do, my life is falling down all around me and I don't know what to do

what do I do

please help me

I haven't got the money to go to a doctor, I haven't got the money to take a break right now =(

I am on my last nerve and tense

Answer 1

Take a deep breath first off....

Try finding ways to relieve stress that you can incorporate into your life (try those stress relief body washes in the shower or bath (if bath light candles and turn lights off too)

I dunno what your job is, but if you can find ways to exercise while working you can relieve stress too, look up chair exercises if you sit at a desk, if youa re standing all day find ways to do leg or arm exercises, if you can take a brisk walk on your break or lunch hour (maybe through a park) get a bit of sunshine too its a natural mood booster

Answer 2

When I get over-stressed like you I try a reality check - kind of think about how many ways it could be worse, or look around at all the people in this world who are dealing with far more difficult things than I am. For example, that car accident you had didn't cripple you, right? Could be worse. (I hope no one was hurt) Your Friend who got busted with drugs may have just learned a lesson that could save his life someday. Try to think positively - take control of your own mind. Take a deep breath and find the blessings in all of this instead of letting it freak you out. You ultimately control the situation by the way you choose to look at it. Keep your head up - it will all come to pass. Good Luck!

Answer 3

How understanding is your boss? If you are looking for a way to get away from everything talk to your boss about everything you just said here... I do not see how anyone could say "too bad, get back to work." Maybe your boss will be able to work something out with you. If not, take advantage of the weekend. Go away, don't answer your cell phone... just drive to a nearby beach or go camping... that's up to you... I dont know what you like.
As far as your job and social life... stick with your job but maybe look around for other jobs in the meantime. It couldnt hurt... If you're not happy with your job then you may always be under some level of stress. Your brother and friend need to deal with their problems on their own.. I know it sounds selfish but would you burden them with those kinds of problems if it were you in that situation? If they ask for your help, fine... offer advice, support them, talk to them, listen to them... but if they do not ask for your help, concentrate on yourself right now. It seems like you are worrying too much about everyone else's problems rather than taking care of your own. As for your grandfather... visit him, talk to him daily, do not distance yourself from him... it could possibly help him through whatever he is going through knowing that you are there for him and that you care. The person you are struggling with at work; forget it... think of it as pointless drama that you do not need right now. eventually you can go back to that situation when you aren't under so much stress... untill then, don't bother. It's not the end of the world. The car accident; I hope you are not in any physical danger or pain... If you are, don't let money become an object. Talk to a doctor and before he proceeds with his check-up, talk to him(or her) about the money issue and ask if he can set up some sort of payment plan. If you are hurt, letting money become an issue can just become more expensive and painful over time. I hope I was able to help. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need to stop. take a breath. and do something for yourself.

Sorry about your accident. I hope that you're ok.

Let me just say, you can't control the issues with your family. If your grandpa is dying, that is very sad, but you can't control it. You can just try to cope. Your brother being in trouble with the law is stressful, but it's his problem. Not yours. Your friend being busted for drugs is also your friends problem. These people are selfish and clearly did not think about you or the rest of the people in their lives when they were doing the things that were causing their problems. You can't help them, even though you might want to, so let it go. You need to think about you. Not them. Go get a cup of coffee or tea in a cafe, and read a mindless book. Take your mind off of things. Your family coming is going to be stressful, but only if you let it be. You should try to make it something fun instead.

Take a bath, ride your bike, do something to get out of your house, and think about nothing.

Answer 5

You definitely need time to yourself... You don't have vacation time from work, however, you don't need vacation time to mentally get away. I suggest that when you are at home go to a room that you are comfortable in and lay down or sit and think of a place that you like to go to, like the beach, lake, park, movie.... whatever you like, and close your eye's and get as relaxed as you can. Now try to put yourself in that situation, mentally you are there and there is nothing anyone can do about it... You are in your space now and you need to think of comfortable things, picture a nice scenery know that you are safe and sound. You control your feelings, other people, places or things may push your buttons, as they say, however you have the ultimate decision on how YOU actually feel. Stress is not healthy for us but we can put it to good use. Vent it in a healthy manner. I hope you pull through this.

Best of luck,

Patrick M. Brennan

Answer 6

What you HAVE to do is
Think about and deal with ONE and only ONE thing at a time.
If it is something that is bothering you that is out of your control, and you can't fix it, there is no need to stress over it. I'm sorry your grandpa may be dying (but you don't really know - may be?). That is a part of life we all have to deal with. I've lost all grandparents, both parents and a brother. It's a difficult process but you will get through it like all of us do. The car accident.....were you hurt or did you get charged....you didn't give details. Remember, that is why they call them "accidents" cuz accidents happen - what is stressing you out now about the accident? You have relatives coming in and it sounds like you don't want to tell them the truth??? I don't know if I'm right as you weren't specific -- we hide stuff from my in-laws and I am so against it. We hide things so they don't "stress out" -- my son is a drug addict and everyone knows it. It isn't easy but ya know, your friend probably needed to get busted to stop - who knows? Sometimes bad things happen to make good things occur. Your brother in trouble with the law? Why is that YOUR problem? It's HIS problem. I know you may love him/care about him but you can't FIX it. If you can't FIX something, you have to let it go. I, like you, can't go to the doctor because of no insurance and $$ and I'm almost 48 years old. We almost got evicted recently because of a job loss and if we hadn't been able to get help from a charity - we would be on the streets right now. Talk about stress!! I have extrememly high blood pressure and can't go to the doctor to get medicine refilled. I also had breast cancer and am very very late for mammogram. There isn't anything I can do about it because of the lack of $$. So I try to forget the health issues and not worry about dying anymore. I can't fix it. It is extremely expensive to just survive where we live. I am trying to help you to make your mind start thinking a little different and to let you know that you are not alone -- life is stressful sometimes. Maybe - just maybe this visit from relatives may be positive instead of negative. You don't know. AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT ISN'T THERE OR HASN'T HAPPENED YET AS SOMETIMES THINGS YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN DON'T and look at all the time you stressed yourself out over it all? What a waste of happy time - right? Remember, one thought at a time - baby steps. You are on overload. Hang in there. I am writing a long answer because I feel bad for you and I know what it feels like. Been there - done that but I didn't get a t-shirt.

Answer 7

'I' think that 'you' must re-organize your LIFE and not enter into anyone else's WORLD but get 'your' own PRIORITIES in order of where 'you' want to be and want to do in a year from now.....and work towards those goals...then the STRESS will exit and 'you' will only COPE' with 'problems/troubles' THAT 'YOU' can/want DEAL with that doesn't COST 'YOU' more that a few minutes when in regard to 'other' persons....and 'friends' must be evaluated from a 'growing' perspective and not a DEAD-END-ALLY.....Oh , and 'they' made thier BED so now let 'them' 'lie'/sleep' in/on' 'it' ....and 'you' go 'your' way with a view to the future and not the past....too many are those that will drag-'you'-down' with them and then it's' a life long lok into the past and immediate present in ''i-could'a-'i'shoulda-'i'-woulda'...and the RECIMINATION /etc. is not worth the effort...so plant some seed to a FUTURE foryour self....'you' know what your interests are and desires...and this takes a 'lot' of work AND continues study....and there will be enough hinderances to overcome in the a-fore mentioned without 'working-for-nothing' entering into what 'you' mentioned....good-luck...and everthing starts with a first step.....

Answer 8

I am really sorry. i am stressed out too. Maybe you could ask yourr relatives to stay in a motel if they have the money to do so.
Do not get involved with other people's legal problems. If you try to rescue them from the consequences of their actions, they might not learn that what they did was wrong. And then everytime they get themselves in trouble they will call you and get you stressed out some more.
Hugs

Answer 9

Great Day in the Morning! Seems like when it rains it pours! Okay, let's try to tackle these things one at a time here. And that's essentially what you should do as well. One thing at a time. All these at once will have you...well....STRESSED!

Car accident - I have yet to see even a fender bender that doesn't suck out loud! These things happen, unfortunately, and judging from you list, and hoping that there were no fatalities, and that the injuries, if there were any, were minor, just give a really loud swear word, and put this at the bottom of your ills. Sounds like you have some pretty pressing issues other than the car accident. I'm not minimizing this, but out of all the things that are stressing you right now, this is the one that is remedied the easiest. Perhaps not immediately, but a little at a time.

Jerk At Work - You have two options. You can confront this person, and it doesn't have to be nasty either. Just walk up and ask what the problem is, and ask what you can do to make the work place an easier place for both of you. If that won't work, and this person just lives to pee on parades, cut them off at the pass. Just flat out tell them that you have work to do, and their need for bullying is NOT on your agenda! If this person is your boss? Start looking for another job now! Perhaps a change is in order here, and it will only help you in your quest to get rid of stress.

Your Grandpa - A sick relative, or one that is facing something that could be fatal is never easy. You're feelings about this are normal. The best thing to do here would be to talk with either a friend, or another relative that knows how you feel. A visit with Grandpa might be a good idea, or if that's not possible, try a phone call. Some information about his progress, or his current situation could help you too. Make the best of the time you have with your Grandpa, now.

Out of Town Relatives - They're family! Gotta love them! I don't know a soul on the planet that wouldn't trade their family for a penny at some point in their lives. Even if it's just once! A visit from the fam when your stressed might sound like the WORST timing. But it might turn out to be a good thing! Sounds like you need the support of your family right now, and hey...right now, you need some support. Shove all the dirty clothes under the sofa, put the pizza boxes in the book shelf, and just be you. They're family, and they'll forgive you for being stressed.

Your Brother & The Law - At this point...if he's in trouble, there's not much you can do. You can be there, talk with him, visit him, but as to his current situation, that's about as much as you can do. I sort of wonder if you have a 'I have to fix it!' complex. In this situation you can't. Be supportive, do what you can, and that's it.
He's your brother, and I understand why this would stress you out. But I did note that you stated he was in a 'bit' of trouble with the law. One day at a time here.

Friend Got Busted - Because this is your friend, of course this is going to affect you. But the magic phrase here is 'busted with drugs'. Don't ditch unless this is someone that is toxic, and should make you reconsider your relationship. But regardless of if your friend is guilty or innocent, do what you can, and that's it. It'll bother you, and you'll feel bad for your friend, but there's not much you can do about this situation. Caught with drugs is serious, and if the drugs belonged to him, or someone he knew left them with him, this is going to be a bumpy road. Prepare to be the same person you always have been that made the two of your friends in the first place. That's the best thing to do.

Job interferring with social life - You know...I think you should seek another job. Not a different career, but maybe it's time for you to move on, or move up! Or hey, maybe a different career!
If you're bogged down, not happy, and you have a total jerk for a co-worker - seriously...it might be time to go. If you can put up with it, and you see potential growth in this, then put on your butt kickin' boots and bowl them over! However, if it's got you to the point you're starting to resent it, and your social life is disappearing, perhaps it's time to look for something new. You always do best when you love your work, or the field you're in. This is going to take some serious thought. Make it a point to do so.

It'd be pretty silly to say that you need a vacation. That much is obvious!!
But there are a few things that you can work on, while you are going through these things that could allow you a breather. A vacation is ideal, but I think what you need right now is the ability to see progress. It might be time to make some changes in your life. A rut, or just one hectic schedule can really bring you down. Change it up, try something new, or persue something you always wanted.
When you get home from work, turn off the phones, your cell, and anything else that will keep you from sleeping. When is the last time you had a full night's rest?
How about your diet? Been eating well? Too much? Not enough? That can do a doozie on your body, and it can add stress. High blood pressure, anyone?
A night out with friends would be great. Or better yet, just a few buddies over for movies. Your life sounds like a big noisy New York street at rush hour right now. Some close friends in a quiet setting might just do the trick.
And what about time for just you? Do you have hobbies? Do you read? Do you play video games? Any one of these that you might favor could result in some release of stress.
We all have to detox from life sometimes. And sometimes, too much too fast really pushes us all to the brink! Congratulations, you're normal, but do seek ways to change what bothers you in your job, and your social life. It's your life. You're the only one that can change it. It'll take time, but go at it a day at a time. One task at a time, and do your best to move forward.

Here's to hoping that all works out!!

Answer 10

You should try some meditation.... Light some candles and do some breathing exercises... Do this all by yourself, clear your mind.
Even intense exercise will help clear your mind.

Good Luck
Things can only get so bad before they get better