We havent really spoken about it,but I think he knows I know. Because Im always throwing weird comments and hints. And when a friend of mine found out her boyfriend was cheating I spoke to my bf and was like..."Why do men cheat?" "I would never do such a thing" "Look how hurt she is"...I guess subtly putting a guilt trip on him. Im always checking his phone when he's not looking,u know doing weird stuff thats totally out of character and making me question if Im going crazy. I was never jealous before, I trusted him completely,but when I found out, it was all crushed. But I still love him, and I know he feels strongly about me and he made a mistake. Forgive and Forget? I just dont know...
2006-06-23 07:44:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you cant trust someone you cant have a healthy relationship. And if you stay with someone you cant trust then you have self esteem issues and should be alone until you can get your head straight and love yourself... co-dependancy isnt attractive, and you will continue to choose emotionally unavailable men that will cheat on you.
2006-06-23 07:51:58 · answer #1 · answered by artist1974 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you have options. You can throw this behind you like a good lil tropper or you can walk. However, you cant forgive what you aren't sure about, So sit him down & let him know what you know. But you both need to talk (alot) & deal with some crucial issues such as trust, monogamy, consequences (AIDS & other STD's) and limits. Forgiveness is a 2 way street, the offender should be aware that they've hurt you and acknowledge that they've broken their partner's trust. You can forgive him but if he's hasnt acknowledged what he's done, there'll be no real change in his ways. Cheating opens up a pattern of behaviour. Talk to him, with him and sometimes we even need to talk about that person to some1 we can trust. Besides how do you know that this is the 1st time & suppose you had not found out would he have confessed, has he put you in danger before, did he use protection? You should take a AIDS/STD test regardless of whether or not he says that he was careful. You have to think of yourself and protect your future as well as your heart.
2006-06-26 08:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by blu_jui 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being paranoid if your going to still be involved with him. Furthermore, what weird comments being thrown at him is really doing to help resolve your paranoid. If your going to forgive then forget it. Why stay with someone you know cheated than give yourself a mental breakdown trying to discover if he's still cheating.
I don't know how you can enjoy the relationship with such a lack of trust. You need trust in order to be truly happy in a relationship and lets not forget communication. Tell your boyfriend what you think you know and go from there. Forgive or Forget is up to you but if you forgive then you must forget .
2006-06-23 07:54:04 · answer #3 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is with throwing hints and beating around the brush. Communication is always the key. Tell him exactly what you know, then ask him why he cheated on you. Then go from there. You have to get it out in the open so you can resolve it. And after all is said and done and you stay with him, you will have to forgive him. So that you don't keep bring up and throwing it in his face. But he must earn you trust again, dont make it so easy, because he may think he can get away with it again.
2006-06-23 07:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by loveNromance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship will not grow or get better if you cannot communicate with your b/f; dropping hints, talking aroun the subject is not healthy or helpful for the relationship. You will never be able to trust him again if you don't talk through this issue. Without trust and communication this is not a strong relationship. If you talk and you decide to move on then you have to really work at the forgiving and trusting aspect of your relationship. If you cant talk to him, trust will never be there and you will always be suspicious and bitter and this relationship is doomed.
2006-06-23 07:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by IvebeenAbadbadgrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it with him, cause if you dont, you will continue to wonder. Even though i have broken up wit my ex's i still ask them y they would do such a thing to hurt me. And we would just talk about it to see what really was wrong. Communication is the success to every good relationship.
2006-06-23 07:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to either let it go and forgive or end the relationship. Being paranoid the whole time isn't what a relationship is about. If you can't get past it your going to have to move on. Also you can tell him what you need from him to help you move on.
2006-06-23 07:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by newburg_2_fine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to him straight up. If he sounds like hes truly sorry and he sounds like he still loves you, forgive him. But tell him that he broke your trust deeply and he will have to earn it back, its not something to throw around and guys make mistakes, hell their guys. its the reason women are here lol
But if he blows it off, acts like its no big deal, acts like hes sorry but keeps in touch with the girl he cheated with or cheats again dump his sorry ***, he isnt worth your time. You deserve better.
I know its hard but dont act so paranoid either way. Then he'll feel like your controlling and that hes stuck with you. And guys dont like to be stuck. He might leave you that way.
2006-06-23 07:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
End the relationship. I know it won't be easy,but if you do not end it you will always be paranoid about it and for good reason. This anxiety about him cheating again will eventually lead you to cheat. Its human nature. I wish you the best.
2006-06-23 08:04:17 · answer #9 · answered by maxsteel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should disguss this cheating thing with your boy friend and see how feels about it. If he thinks it is nothing to worry about, then may be it is time to find another one. If he is serious about the relationship with you, then make him promise not to do it again or he will lose you forever.
Hope that helps.
2006-06-23 07:50:59 · answer #10 · answered by Thor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋