My boyfriend and I have been living together for 4 months now..with his 4 year old daughter on the weekends. She's a good girl, but when she gets out of line..my boyfriend is stern with her for the initial part of things but then ends it with hugging her and talking nicely and explaining why he yelled. Also, if she acts up in a store..he'll buy her things just to quiet her down! He's such a great boyfriend, there's no way I'm letting this come between us. I've never loved anyone so much, but argghh!! This drives me crazy sometimes! I'd never beat/hit a child but man when I got out of line when I was younger, I got punished and I *knew* I had done wrong. Anyone else having these issues..? I'm nervous about when him & I have a child now..
2006-06-23 07:13:00 · 6 answers · asked by Swaygirl27 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Oh, where to start..... you could be me writing that! My fiance has two kids, 5 and 7, I have one son who is 12, we all live together full time as both of our exes are losers. The five year old is the 'baby girl' of the family according to him so she gets coddled, babied, special exceptions to the rules, etc. Basically it's a serious case of favoritism and I too could just scream my head off from the frusteration this causes. She is very manipulative and acts very very babyish (baby talk, waddling like a duck, acting super shy) in front of her dad when she knows I'm mad or that she should be in trouble. He will discipline her when she does something way out of line but just like your boyfriend, will then cuddle with her, hold her and treat her even more like an infant. We have been together for over 3 yrs now and she still refuses to listen to me if she doesnt like what I say, even though she knows that she will be disciplined by her dad if wont listen to me. She very very rarely throws fits, but will simply refuse to do what she is told. She will just stand there with a blank stare, scowling at me and not budge. Her dad knows she is manipulative and nasty in her own quiet sneaky way but he still favors her and treats her differantly than the boys.
What seems to have worked a little for me is to talk to your boyfriend alone and say something like 'Holy cow, there was this kid in the store today that was throwing a fit and instead of being repramanded his parents bought him/her a toy! Can you believe that?' Then maybe next time his child does that your conversation will pop into his head and click with his own scenario.
2006-06-23 07:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by Schmiders 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope i dont have an of them problems when are 14 month old son gets out of line he gets a noce butt spankin. if he grabs or touches things we tell him not to he gets his hand smacked. now as for being mouthy well he cant talk yet. but me and my husband grew up in little towns where things were done the old fasion way. but are 2 boys are spoiled rotten. but know the difference between right and wrong cause thay are good for the most part even know one of are boys is on 1 month old. and the other is 14 months old and can be a pain in the butt. but seens she is not ur kid well u wont win the fight but u could always try talking to him. let him know how u feel but do it in away he wont think he is a bad parent or doing the wrong thing. cause some guys can be sensitve when it comes to raising the child i know my husband is.
2006-06-23 14:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I think it's great that the two of you care so much for this child. I think the best thing you can do to make sure that she doesn't end up a spoiled and naughty child is to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you want whats best for her too and tell him some of the things that bother you like when he buys her things to get her to be quiet. I'm sure he'll be willing to talk if not work on these things.
2006-06-23 14:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing he does is okay, we all do that. The store thing isn't okay... But we all have contradictions. My husband always yelled at me for buying the kids stuff at the stores for when they were acting up. Well, I quit doing it quite a while ago, but he'll do it! Drives me nuts, but they're only little once. Also, when you have your own you will understand how difficult it is. Good luck.
2006-06-23 14:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT HE WILL MAKE THINGS WORST FOR HIMSELF IN LONG-TERM IF HE CONTINUES TO BUY HER THINGS WHEN SHE SHOWS OUT IN THE STORE, HE NEEDS TO LET HER KNOW THAT HER ACTING OUT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED .
2006-06-29 12:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by SUGARMOMMA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it, it's not YOUR child. You can't win this one.
Overall however, my advice has always been, "If you don't want them to do it tomorrow, don't let them do it today!"
2006-06-23 14:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by pamspraises 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋