Do I forgive him?

Question

I have a new boyfriend. We have been together a little over a month. Saturday night I had a party and he was here along with other friends. In my drunken state I told my boyfriend and another friend that I had feelings for both of them and didn't know who to choose. This led to a fight and we ended up breaking up. To make a long story short 3 friends, including my now ex and my best friend, stayed in a hotel and they had sex. I think the breakup was cuz we were mad and upset but that doesn't excuse what happened. My friend lied but my bf told the truth. He has been trying to make up for it ever since but I can't kiss him without thinking about what they did. He says he's sorry. I no longer talk to my best friend and I wonder if I should give my bf another chance? All advice is appreciated.

Answer 1

Let's face it, sexual behavior under the influence of anything is most often a bad idea. Making decisions about relationships under the influence is also a bad idea. And, of course, saying whatever you think while under the influence is most definitely a bad idea.

Since the crisis started when you suggested you were interested in others, since the two of you were broken up when the sexual event happened, and since your bf was honest about what happened...and it sounds as though he is genuinely sorry about the whole mess...it might be in your best interest to forgive him and give him a second chance.

Answer 2

NO dont give him another chance. He may actually be sorry but then i guess you will be teaching him a life long lesson for future relationships. From my experience if you cant forget you wont be able to fully forgive and it will just cause emotions and anger to build up whether you realize it right now or not and you will eventually lose all respect and love for him anywayz you will also be much more bitter about it and waste alot more time and emotion dwelling on it then if you just make a clean break now.

Answer 3

No...this isn't worth saving. Think about it...he slept with your friend. Granted, it takes 2 to tango, so she's just as much a jerk as he is (some friend! sorry girl!). Over a drunken stupid fight, he decides to be unfaithful to you. What does that tell you? That he acts before he thinks and I don't care how drunk you are...that's just wrong. You were only together a little over a month. Cut your losses now before you get into another drunken brawl and he sleeps with someone else again.

Answer 4

You'd broken up...bad judgement call or not, who he slept with after that moment of break up isn't your concern...a true friend of yours isn't going to have sex with someone you dig (before, during, or after a breakup unless y'all have discussed it and ok'd it) so that person wasn't much of a friend to begin with.

Before considering reuniting with your 'ex' though, give some thought to what you said in your drunken state. If you've got even the tiniest feeling for some other guy, you need to resolve that before you get back together with your 'ex'. Imagine how you'd feel if you heard someone you were dating say they couldn't decide if they liked you or some other chick better. It would sting, wouldn't it?

Answer 5

some thing that got here about over 25 years in the past exceedingly a lot ruined my existence. anytime i presumed about it, the hatred again. even even if the fellow to blame in no way requested for my forgiveness, i ultimately did. somebody else in touch did ask and through that element I had allow bypass of the animosity. There are some issues which ensue in existence that can in no way be forgiven or forgotten. i'm happy I chosen to no longer allow it damage what years I easily have left.

Answer 6

I say it was just in the heat of the moment. You were drunk and told him and this other guy that you love them both, he got mad and had sex with your friend.

Sit down and have a long chat with him to see if there is a good chance that you cud work it out.

Answer 7

someone once told me that her boyfriend cheated on her but she isn't going to get back together with him, but she loves him dearly. So I asked why, and she said if I do stay with him...every time things get bad he is gonna go running to another girl...and if i was to get married to him and after 10 years when the honeymoon phase is over and we start to have some trouble he is going to go running again....so..the decision is up to you...whether or not you trust him is a completely different story..he slept with your best friend...you can't get worse than that...he hit you hard there and who is to say he won't do it again? but life is all about the learning processes and if you think he likes you enough to be with you despite what has happened...go for it..but know you got to deal with the consequences

Answer 8

Okay...I say you should forgive him, but be shure to tell him how much he hurt you and that he ruined you relationship with your best friend. Tell him you're sorry for what you sad at the party and that you didn't mean it...even if you did. Tell him you love him, then give him a deep hard make-you-moan type of kiss.

Answer 9

Forget them BOTH! If either one of them truly cared for you and/or had any backbone they would not have ended up in a hotel bed together. You can forgive them, but its doubtful that you will ever trust either of them again. Move one and find someone who truly cares for you and trustworthy.

Answer 10

In my honest opinion, you need to dump them both, and start over with a clean slate....new best friend, and new boyfriend. Neither one of them was your friend when they were having sex, or cared about your feelings.......not my definition of "friend". Move on, without either one of them.