HELP!! got a 4 year old girl with a massive attitude, any advice of help?

Question

im pulling my hair out!!!!

reasonable answers please!

Answer 1

Not only does that come with the age but shows the discipline that she is recieving for these actions. Warn her with and tell her what the consequence will be and if she does this again, FOLLOW THROUGH with the punishment. Punishments that i suggest are time-out (1 minute for each year so 4 mintues), or take a toy away everytime she is reminded of her bad attitude and she can earn them back upon completion of a small chore or whatever you suggest or if she doesn't earn it back within a certiain amount of time, take her with you to a local homeless shelter or salvation army and give that toy to another boy or girl. That will not only teach her that her bad attitude will get her nowhere, it will teach her about compassion and caring for others as well. Good luck!

Answer 2

Had one of those, now I have a nice twin replacement, and the previous model only visits. Usually when the in-laws are here!

1st think about her routine, is she getting enough sleep, is she getting enough/to much stimulation or at the wrong time. Diet will have an effect to.

The hardest thing I found was being calm. My daughter went through a stage of hitting me, which just made my blood boil. I stopped reacting to it, side tracking her and giving small rewards for doing chores. A sticker, or a handful of grapes.

We also used the naughty step tecnique. After 3 calm warnings we sit her on the bottom step for 1 minute for each year of the childs life. The first few times, she got up, don't react, calmly with no discussion put her back. After a several times she stops what she is doing after now by the time I've counted to 2. Well usually.

One thing I have learnt is not to get up tight, or expect them to be perfect all the time. We were at church and my daughter was singing quietly to herself during the service. A couple of older ladies were tutting, but you know what she was not damaging anything or hurting anyone and I kind of think Jesus would like it! lol

MAKE sure you look after you. If you are tired and stressed you and your daughter will bounce of each other. Try and find a reletive, friend etc, to take her for a couple of hours and do what you want, not housework or shopping. Read a book, have a bath in peace or have a coffee with a friend.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

hi i also have a 4 year old daughter with an attitude that could give any teenager a run for their money lol we have just started a 4 step system were we have behaviour charts with a few small chores on, simple things like putting toys away etc then we have 2 big toy boxes, one where her toys are put away and another with a lid and when she plays up the first thing is she gets a warning, if she carries on one toy is taken and put into the box with a lid and she loses that toy for 2 days if she still plays up she is put on the stairs for 2 mins to think about what she did, when she has been good she gets a gold star for her chart. it took a week or so for her to get used to this but now we never get to the step stage and the toys are only being taken on the odd occasion now, it hasn't stopped the tantrums or attitude altogether but it is a rare ocurrence and my life seems so much easier

hope this helps you with your little angel

vicky xx

Answer 4

Ignore the attitude. It's worked with my kids. If she gives an attitude, let her know that it's not appropriate and she will be sent to her room or timeout. Don't give into the attitude. Give her discipline and most of all reward her with love and attention when she is acting appropriately. Getting her involved in sports or a dance class, or even music lessons will help improve her attitude. She may just need to be around other children her age where she'll realize the attidue isn't acceptable.

Answer 5

Join the club! When my daughter talks to us in a disrepectful manner (I'm assuming she's not hitting or kicking you at all) we just tell her we will listen to her when she speaks nicely. She can repeat it as many times as she'd like in a rude tone, but she gets nothing until she talks to us like she is supposed to talk to an adult.
Also, sometimes she is put off by other adults (not saying thank you when getting a gift), we pull her aside and tell her that if she doesn't say thank you by the end of the night (she doesn't have to do this in front of other people, it may be embarrassing) we will take the gift back to the store and use the money for something else. Within five minutes she is saying thank you to the other person.
Just keep working on it! I know it's hard, especially when you think "Damn, is this kid going to be a teenager after this?", but we have made big improvments in my daughter's behavior.

Answer 6

Sorry hun. There is NO advice. Your daughter is pushing boundries and discovering her independance. As long as she isn't putting her safety or anyone elses at risk with her behaviour, then you may just have to ride it out. Maybe give her some little jobs to do. Make her feel grown up and important. Remember that she needs to show you respect though, and if her behaviour or attitude become a serious problem, you may need to contact your Health Visitor. If she hasn't started school yet, I would wait until she has. You might see an improvement.

Answer 7

Controlled disciplinary spanking works. Not beating, this is done in the moment while the anger is fresh. Spanking is a disciplinary measure that is done after a short wait. You go to the child and explain why s/he's getting the spank and then give a single controlled spank on the bare rear end. Let the child then have a couple of minutes alone then return to cuddle and reaffirm your love and talk about her actions again.

Answer 8

my three year old is the same. i tell him that his attitude is not acceptable and if he continues i will put him on the naughty step for three minutes (Four minutes for you) he often ends up thre once he is there i tell him why he is there and tell him what he said and that i will not tolerate it any longer. he usually tries getting off the step i don't say anything and put him straight back on. it has started to work with a lot of work on my side. try giving him a sticker chart for every time he is good once he gets a attitude remove the sticker. reward him at the end of the week if he can get 7 stickers. when you say attitude do you mean the tone of voice talking to you like your dumb? either way carry on putting him the step. persevere it does work

Answer 9

Don't let people tell you it is your fault and you are a bad Mother - i have 3 kids, two are really easy going and no prob, 1 is a major handful. I swear I brought them up the same!

I am fed up with people being smug about their own little darlings - every child has its own personality from the begining. I would advise you to carry on giving your girl lots of love and care, and be happy that when she grows up she is likely to do well - she probably has lots of energy and personality, and a positive attitide, unlike kids from families where they were browbeaten into submission and being placid.

I would also suggest that you check she has lots of stimulation, physical activities, and that she is at a good school that is giving her enough challenge academically.

Answer 10

first-dont pull your hair out-kids can sense tension and dont like bald muumies-so get that one out of the way.im a man,yes-its starnge maybe that im answering your question but i work with 35 kids every day and so therefore know the score and sympathise with you-we have a child at my place of work who is very very defiant,loads of attitude and can also get really violent-the way we deal with it is to exclude from the group and take out to a place of safety and let the child really go for it-she throws stuff and tries to hurt us but all we do is to totally ignore her-it usually lasts around 10 minutes and once she realises that no-one is watching and that she cant get what she wants-and that shes got ot put back everything shes destroyed before we will acknowledge her-she calms down and does what we ask and hey presto-no more problems at least for the rest of the day.we adopted this strategy a cuople of weeks ago and its slowly starting to pay dividends.
the only thing to add is that you have GOT TO say what you mean and mean what you say every time-otherwise the child will take advantage of any weaknesses and exploit them mercilessley as children do!!if you need any help,or just want to have a whinge then my name is stephen and i work for future einsteins day nursery-rated outstanding by ofsted and we're all very good at what we do-its not easy but try that and maybe itll work.
good luck,stay calm and remember that you are in control!!!!!!!!!!