HELP: My dog, Sam, is very old and can't see or hear very well. How am I ever going to cope with her death???

Question

She is about 12 1/2 and just some days, more commonly now that its hotter out, she just gives me this look of "Oh come on, I can't keep living like this." Like she wishes to "give in." I get teared up just thinking about it. My family adopted her, a one & a half year old German shephard pup, in the summer of '95. I was about 6 & a half yrs., 1st grade. I am now 17 3/4 and am a Sr. in high school. She was diagnosed with pannus, a chronic inflammation of the corneal surface & in most cases, the conjunctiva of the eye, when she was about 7 yrs I guess. Sam is my first pet, my first dog, MY FIRST BEST FRIEND. I've had other pets that have died during Sam, but when I lose Sam, I'll lose a big piece of my heart. I will be a total wreck w/out her. I've heard its best to get another dog right away and keep busy, but I feel that'll deprive me of time used for grieving period. I owe it to her, but its going to be so painful. I know shes not going to make it through this hot summer.

Answer 1

You have to let her go. Although it'll be hard, death is a natural part of life and you have to accept it with everything that goes on in this world. You may feel that getting a new dog will take awat from your greiving process but it won't. You will still have the expreriences you had with your old dog and no one can take that away from you. Dont let her suffer anymore. Let her be at peace.

Answer 2

I can not begin to tell you that I know how you will feel. I hate it when people do that in this certain type of situation, as everyone grieves differently and at differnent depths of hurt. It sounds as though you have a great understanding of what this loss is going to represent to you. You are loosing your best friend or even a sibling of sort, you grew up together. I bet you used to tell her all your secrets when you were younger, and lay on her and cry when you were sad. She was always there for you, no matter what, and always loved you - just for who you were. I had a black lab that was the same for me. When Velvet passed, it was the end of the world for me.

You do know that she's not doing well, don't want her to suffer needlessly. Your intense love for her will help you realize that keeping her around for yoursake isn't the loving thing to do. She took care of you all those years and was there when you needed her, now she is looking to you to do the same for her. There is nothing but time that will cause hurt to lessen - it will never completely go away, just as your memory of her and the importance she has had in your life will never go away. She will always maintain a special place in your heart and rightfully so. When the time come for her to pass, don't let others opinons affect the way you feel or grieve. You take the time and do what you need to do. Make a special place for her picture or create a scrap book from the pictures you have from the past 12 years of the two of you together.

My heart goes out to you in a very large way. I may not help, but I am sending you a huge hug and hope that you have family and friends that will help you through this time. I would never kid you and say it will be easy, as it will not, but when push comes to shove, you will survive, and you will be a stronger and more compassionate, and better person for having had her in your life and having had to go through this experience.

Answer 3

I don't know that getting another pet right away is the answer. Having new kittens 2 and a half years after my cat died, I find it to be a major reminder of my first cat. Even though they are nothing alike, having them around can really make me miss him. I had him from the time I was 4 years old until I was 19.

There are books on pet loss that I've heard can help. Search on Amazon to get some good titles to look into.

Really you have to cope with it just like losing anyone else. Have your grieving period and then move on while keeping your fond memories.

Good luck. I hope you two have some good times while she is still with you.

Answer 4

So sorry to hear that, my eyes teared up when I read it, I just lost my dog 4 months ago had him for 13 years. I knew he wasnt going to be around much longer, he had a heart problem, so I really relate to your sadness and what u r going thru. Just love him while u can,be gentle,no matter what you can never be ready. If he has to be put to sleep, be there beside him,as hard as it is,he needs you there til the end,okay? And yes,wait a little while after he goes,but do get another dog,he would want it that way-dogs NEED owners like you. It WILL help you a little more. I got another one 2 months after, it was hard, but it helps,he looks a little like my last one. Take care, I know it is not easy.

Answer 5

I know it will be rough on you (my dogs are my best friends!) but you may want to think about holding her while they put her to sleep. If she's that old, she'll probably just fall asleep naturally first in your arms, and you'll be the last thing that she will see. She'll be happy when she goes to sleep. It's a much better option than coming home one day and finding her dead, where she died alone. I'm praying for you to make the choice that's best for her.

And don't feel like you have to get another dog right away--it's important to take your time and not jump into something you won't appreciate as much as Sam.

Answer 6

Give her all the love and attention, and hugs and kisses, she can possibly handle, and then some more! Lots of treats and toys. Make the time she has left the best possible. It will hurt to lose your best friend, but knowing you made her last months with you the best you could will help when the time comes. Your family will be around you then, and knowing they miss her too will be a big help. You can remember the good times together... She will want you to share your love for her with another dog when you are ready - and you will know when that is.

Answer 7

What a difficult emotion for such a young person to deal with but death is a natural part of life and we all have to cope with at least once in our lifetime.
I grew up on a farm with dogs, cats, sheep and horses and death became a normal part of almost every day. Not that I ever got used to it!!! One thing that I did learn is that animals really don't have the mental capacity (like humans) to feel sorry for themselves. They live for the moment. I wish I could do that!
Many times over the years I have had to say good-bye to my closest companions, they were all old and suffering in some way. I took each one to the Vet. and held on for that last big hug before I said. "so long". Each and every time hurt as much as the first and I will never forget any of those moments but I knew that the love I felt had to go one more step...toward compassion and did for my pals what was right for them.
When we love someone or something so much we tend to be a little selfish and hold on for dear life in fear of the pain that follows but the pain is part of healing...one step at a time.
Only in one case after one of beloved dogs died did i get another dog (within two weeks) and for me at that time, it was the right thing to do. She is here with me right now, 12 years old and..."old". I know I will have to say good-bye to her very soon and feel what you are feeling.
My heart is with you but...you will be okay. Follow your own heart and the love you have for your old pup.

Big hug from Kitty

Answer 8

i would get another dog before Sam passes on. Not just for yourself, but I think it might give Sam some peace to know that you will be protected by another faithfull dog after she can't stay any longer. Just make sure that if you do, the new dog gives Sam her space, and respect. You know, not a notoriously hyper breed like a Jack Russell terrier. Some gentle calm dog that will help comfort you and share your loss, as well as be good doggie company for Sam while she's still with you.

Answer 9

Start getting prepared. If she is acting like she's had enough, it may be. PLEASE do not let her suffer if she seems weaker or shows signs of pain. Stay in touch with the vet. It is going to tear your heart out. It never gets easier. You must know in your head what your responsibility is -- not to let her suffer. Then you can live with yourself. Make sure you have some pictures.
I am quite concerned about THAT DAY myself. My baby is around 14 and now has diabetes. Her arthritis is acting up. I watch her and giver the meds but one day I will have to do the same thing.Just know you will be doing the right thing. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 10

I hope this helps. Just follow your heart, and any descision is the right one.

May I go now
Don't you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be,
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first.
I fought with all my might!
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go! I really do!
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day .
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and are afraid
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I loved you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time,
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.