Is he still that into me?

Question

I am 23 and I recently started seeing this great guy who is 26. We met online and he lives about an hour and a half away from me. We talked online for about a month and we have seen each other about 4 or 5 times. We get along great and have really connected. However, this week out of the blue he said that he had alot on his mind about work and pursuing another position in his company. He said he needed some time to figure things out. He did say that he still liked me but did not want to deal with the pressure of a new relationship right now with everything going on. He has called and text me a couple of times just to say HI, but nothing more than that. I really like him and I don't want to push him, but I want to see him and want to be there to support him through this time in his life. I am not sure what I should do and I have started questioning if he is really that into me anymore, despite what he says. I hope I am making sense....... Any thoughts?

Answer 1

The guy could be on the up and up about wanting to focus on a better job or position... but... and that's a big but... more than likely he doesn't want to further the relationship along with you ...
but... and that's another big but... what he is doing is sort of stringing you along and keeping you at a distance, still friends with whatever relationship you had... This is good for him I suppose, but not so good for you... leaving you hanging and wondering and afraid to push whatever you feel to the next level...
You should let him know what's on your mind and the level of intentions you have... it will put him on the spot and make him say what he's really trying to say... Sometimes guys need a little push... or a big push... I wish you all the best...

Answer 2

You probably feel really heartbroken and probably feel he has given you the brush off.
I'm not sure why you want to support him, because he is not supporting you. If you get honest with yourself about that statment you will see that you are just looking for an excuse to be with him.
Let's look at the facts: You have only talked online for a month and seen him what 4 or 5 times. To be frank with you, there is no relationship and he is not your boyfriend. It's great you get along, and it's easy to get along with someone you just meet, we all do it. However the fact remains you don't have a relationship with this man.
I'll tell you what you do have though, and that's the begining of a friendship. You can be his friend and don't react to his brush-off towards you. If you react you will push him further away.
Now why had he pulled away? Could be his job, or maybe he has some problems in his personal life that he does not want to bring you into and make you apart of or the worse he is dating someone else.
Now ask yourself why you really like this guy? Because if you do
then follow this advice:
If he calls you to say "Hi", let your answering machine pick-up, then wait a day or two and call him back, or better yet let him call back and let your machine pick up again then wait a day or two and call him back. Believe me he will start wanting to know what your doing, and when that happens tell him you were out on a date. If this man wants you he will tell you he wants to see you.
"He's either in or he's out". Same goes for you.

Answer 3

You make perfect sense and this is the best time and way to ill many birds with one stone. I think that you can support him by giving him the space that he asked for and still being receptive to him when you guys have contact. Let him know that if he needs you you are there. Also in that space it gives you time to find out if he is still into you if he stops calling and or starts speaking as if talking to you is a burden then you know that it is time to move on. Also DO NOT put your life on hold in hopes that there is something there for you. Time waits for no man (no point intended). All it boils down to is take it for what it is worth, right now at best you guys shared some good times. You met an awesome guy and that is that. If he calls back and becomes more involved in seeing or wanting to be with you then great but other than that move on for the time being.

Answer 4

Ouch. My boyfriend runs his own company and works 11-12 hour days, and despite being stressed out and aggravated by his responsibilities, one of the highlights of his day is to speak to me or see me if he can. We live about 30-40 minutes from each other. He makes the time for me, even when he's horribly busy and stressed. Sometimes, he will ask for a raincheck when we have plans but he always makes good on that and he'll still call on that night. I'm thinking your guy just isn't that into it anymore simply because if he were, he'd call no matter how busy and he'd look to you to vent his frustrations about moving up in his company. Now what you don't say is how long this has been going on with his career situation. Sometimes men just do need some time to themselves. If you think you're being made to be kept around just incase, I wouldn't sit home and wait for him. Has he told you he loves you? If he hasn't, it might be time to find another guy who will be completely into you no matter how busy he becomes. And no, you shouldn't push him. That would just make it much worse. You can sit around and wait for him to call, but I wouldn't advise it. It sounds like he's using his career situation as an excuse to keep you at bay for whatever reason. Good luck.

Answer 5

He very well could be going through some things in his life right now that he feels he should take care of first. I know a lot of people would say, well if he loved you you would come first, but we dont live in fantasyland. We live in reality. People have bills to pay, careers to build, a future to prepare for. If he's still contacting you he may be interested in you. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for him if I were you. Even if he has feelings for you who is to say that he will be ready to act on them when you want him to. You may be patient right now because you like him a lot but in 3-6 months you won't be so patient. You'll want to know if theres something there or you're wasting your time. So maybe you'll be better off just cutting your losses now. You're both young and still have lots to do in your lives. The fact that you've only seen each other 4-5 times and you think you feel this strongly for him doesn't bode well for you either. Did you tell him this already? You may have scared him off if thats the case.

Answer 6

Well for the most part, he could be sincere about his situation. Most people do better when they tackle difficulties by them selves. He probably does not know that you really want to support him and can be beneficial to him. Plus it may be too soon for him to include you in this issue, because this is a serious manner. You might just want to give him all the space he needs and let him know that you are there when he needs you. You have to realize if you guys didn't talk about his work in the past then you really don't know what is going on. make yourself busy and don't crowd him, let him do most of the chasing, be supportive. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think he may be on the up and up here, just moving a little faster than he was comfortable with for the moment. With work, and new positions in his company being sought, it can get rather hectic. Giive him the benefit of the doubt here. What you have to do, and I know it's hard, but you have to be pateint, and let this scene play out. You will know in a few days whether or not he's sincere...........don't push! Good Luck!!

Answer 8

im sorry but hes not into you.a guy in love or even in lust will keep his woman close no matter what hes going through."i need some time to think " is a woman thing.guys worry too much that she would find someone else while hes taking his break.think about it..have you ever said that to a guy??and were you into him??bet not.sorry.you sound like a nice girl so my advice would be to move on.and beware of on line relationships,most are just playing,trying to get laid,or sickos.find someone real and be happy.good luck.

Answer 9

I'm kind of going through the same thing except we see each other about like once a week but then again...we live pretty close or at least our paths can cross.

I'm not sure if I'm just being naive or if love really is blind...but you just have to have a little faith. At least he texts you, it's better than him ignoring you. It shows that he's thinking about you and still cares. I know it hurts that you want to help him but he's not accepting help...but you just have to realize that he's a grown man, he feels that he needs to be able to handle his problems himself.

Answer 10

personally i think the best thing u should do is not pursue him that much, try not 2 think of him a lot, just take it day by day and go with the flow, if it happens it happens if not than at least u know u tried, i know it's easier said than done especially when your really starting 2 like someone, just let him know u understand and let him know if he ever needs anyone that your there 4 him, goodluck.