My 10 month old throws tantrum and screams at the top of his lungs when he is mad. What do i do to stop this?

Question

He doesnt cry he shrieks and screams and then looks at me and then does it again. I dont know how to discipline him and i dont want to reinforce this behavior in the wrong way.

When i say discipline, i dont mean hitting him, i would never hit him. I mean like some kind of positive or negative rienforcment. I do ignore it but he will keep it up for hours, especially at nap time.

Answer 1

if you're at home, get down on the floor and start tantruming with him. Once he sees how ridiculous YOU look, you both can probably have a good laugh. If that doesn't work, you will have to really ignore him until he calms down. It might be difficult.

Answer 2

Oh, you bring back memories! I applaud you for not hitting him, I could list all the horrible effects it has on him (including lowering his I.Q) but there isn't enough space:)

My son was exactly the same. I honestly though I would have to give up ever having a plesent day with him, but you'll be happy to know...he's now 5 and we've had a very wonderful child since he turned 3 and we changed our parenting.

First...lay off the sugar!!!! VERY important, just try for a couple of weeks...watch everything, juice, popsicles, cookies, jam, etc. This alone made a huge difference with my son (and made him healthier) and now he can handle 'treats' with moderation.

I also found that most of his outburst came when he was either bored or wanted his own way. Curb the boredom by challenging him (not with TV, that tends to overstimulate kids and make them more challenging). If he has problems being told 'no,' just find a way to do it less. (no, I'm not insane!) Set up your home and thus life so that he doesn't have to hear 'no.' Remove items from his vision that he can not have. If he proposes something (say running in the parking lot) that is a total 'no' then just bend down and give him an option (which would you like? I can hold you or you can ride in the cart) He is old enough to understand.

If worse comes to worse...l just ignore it (to an extent, frequently check on him, it only takes a minute for trouble to happen) and above all, just love him and know that this stage will pass. Helping him feel loved, secure and stimulated will help that happen faster.

My best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 3

Here's a couple of suggestions. Either leave him in his room until he stops or try re-directing his attention. We have an 11 yr. old who is developmentally delayed who does the very same thing as your son. Our son does it for attention and control. We have been working with behavioral and developmental therapists for about 3 yrs. now and most of the time these techniques work but if you leave him in his room be sure and tell him why he's staying in his room. Say, "If you want to throw a fit, then do it your room because I don't want to see it. When you are finished then I'll come and get you." The other suggestion involves calming techiques. Take 3 deep breaths, count to 10 and play google bugs. A google bug is an imaginary bug that can be on any part of the body. It needs to be shaken off. If it's on your head, shake your head and so on. Since your son is very young you'll need to do this with him. Usually google bugs gets the child laughing and therefore the bad behavior has been re-directed. Try it! It works for us most of the time. Good luck.

Answer 4

Heh, walk away. They had this video on America's funniest home videos, where the child was pitchign a fit, look at the mom, and klee p going. The mom would walk away, around the corner, the child would stop screaming, walk around the corner, find the mom, then fall on the floor and continue screaming. It's all an attention thing. The more attention you give that behavior, the worse it gets.

Answer 5

When he screams, you tell him is a stern voice to stop or you're going to give him a time out. He may or may not understand, but that's not the point. He needs to see your unhappy face and hear your unhappy voice so he knows this does not please you. If he does it again pick him up and put him in his crib in his room alone. Leave him there for 10 minutes, which is a long time for a baby and gets the message across. Repeat as needed. Don't get angry. Don't yell. Just matter-of-factly tell him you are unhappy with his screaming and put him in his room. This should make him want to stop. Just remember, it's not a contest of wills between you and your baby, even if he wants it to be. You are bigger, and a bunch smarter and you can do things like give him time outs to get your point across. Just remember to never discipline a child when angry.

Answer 6

Before he throws another tantrum, you should calmly express to him that you will not respond to shrieks and that if he wants attention that he should ask. If your child feels neglected, you may need to spend more structured time with him; possibly set up times in the day that are exclsuively time for him and tht nothing gets in the way of that (no phone or computer or TV unless he asks for it). Parents sometimes say they spend time with kids but are just spending time in proximity to them.

Once he starts on a tatrum, you have to be firm in your resolve to ignore him NO MATTER WHAT. Check that he isn't actually in urgent need of help but do not address his bad behaviour as being acceptable. It's the same principle as "we don't negotiate with terrorists" because it sets a terrible precedent and children will exploit that.

Answer 7

Someone has taken over your house.... JR! He's feeding off of your reactions.

Literally laugh at him (and loud!! - give yourself a good belly laugh!) when he does it.... anyone else there to help out? You'll catch JR off his guard..... he'll wonder what's up.

- In a humorous way of course, not a cruel way..... it will do wonders for your own tolerance level too.

.... and calmly tell him how silly he looks when he does it! - I bet he looks funny as hell! I'm serious, it beats violence hands down!

Tell him people do not behave like that. He'll never get what he wants acting like that..... and don't give him what he wants until he calms down...... and tell him that.

He's an interbalistic missile ready to go off!, but without a guidance system, that's your job!

Laughter can defuse any bomb! Now if we could just get the terrorists to do the same we'll have peace!..... and so will you.

Good luck!

Answer 8

When ignoring doesn't work, use humor and bribery.

Tell him that you like it because it amuses you and makes you laugh...then when he does it, point, laugh, and then walk away laughing. Even leave the room laughing.

Also, tell him that he won't get his regular dessert, or toy, if he does it more than 1 minute. Then do exactly as you promissed. Take away the thing he loves.
When he LEARNS there are NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES for his undesireable behavior, he will stop.

Have the strength to be a good parent, even when it hurts your heart...he'll be better off when he learns to respect the rules.

stw

Answer 9

You don't need to discipline him. You need to let him realize that he is not the center of the world. Get a book or turn on the TV and ignore him, even if he goes for hours. Eventually he will exhaust himself and stop. You want him to comprehend that he cannot force you to react to him - so you'll have to be calm and collected the whole time. It will be difficult but you can do it.

Best of luck to you and God bless.

Answer 10

My little one did that too. I tried the ignoring thing, but felt like a bad mom. It drove other people in the house nuts. So, I had to carry him outside just so people could watch tv. Now, he loves to go outside. We go for a walk every afternoon when I get in from work. It's always at the same time. He takes my hand and leads me to the door. It's good bonding time with him, which is what he wanted to begin with. Babies can't tell you what's wrong. When they miss you and just want to be with you, they cry. Try setting aside some time for just you and your baby.

Answer 11

I know it is hard to ignore it but that is what needs to be done. sometimes as parents we say we are ignoring but we really aren't. We just don't want to be hard and always want to be there for our child. If he gets up, throws bottle down, etc. Simply go back in the room but not very often, in a firm voice...it's time to go to sleep you need to lay down and then help him down.......I love you and will see you in a little while.
If that seems to make it worse then stop that.
Have you asked your pediatrician? He/She may have some ideas too.