said his daddy did it to him and his brother. What should I do?
2006-06-23 04:02:38 · 38 answers · asked by mama_of_2 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
the brother is 2.
2006-06-23 04:09:58 · update #1
You can't report me for this question, I've done nothing wrong, and the staff of Y!A will see that, all I'm doing is trying to get some opinions!!
2006-06-23 07:20:59 · update #2
First of all, be careful not to jump to conclusions. 3 year boys are learning that they have something there. It isn't unusual for a child to do that on their own.
Since he said that Dad did it, I would talk to the other brother if he is older. If you can't do that, you might try contacting the police. I don't know that I would make a real big deal out of it just yet. I know it is hard not to but I have a 4 year old. When he does something he isn't suppose to or thinks he isn't suppose to, he will tell me one of the other kids did it. He has even blamed his cousin, who isn't here.
You may have had that tone in your voice and he was afraid that you would be mad. Wait a little bit and ask him again. He may tell you someone else showed him.
I hope it is just that he was afraid. I would hate to think that his dad would do that to him. Good Luck.
2006-06-23 04:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki R 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I would get my kids out of there as soon as I could. Go stay with a relative or friend. I can relate... my father did it to me and my brothers.... my oldest brother is messed up bad (drugs and everything) and my other ones are very emotional... this guy is a creep, get your kids away from him... before they are permantly damaged.... trust me I know what I'm talking about. After getting my kids away from him... I'd contact the nearest police station and report him... just think the other kids he might have touched. I'd file for complete custody before he does. Good Luck and I'm sorry your child had to experience that. God bless and I'll keep you in my prayers.
2006-06-23 04:08:49 · answer #2 · answered by lucki_charmed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down your 3 year old and ask him what he means.( I know it is hard to have a 3 year old explain, but listen very carefully to what he says and watch his body language).
Sometimes kids, especially little ones are quite literal. Perhaps it was innocent as others have suggested(bathing, scratching, etc), but if you find your son fidgeting, not looking you in the eye, or becoming upset, then I would be concerned and confront their father. Be careful when you tread on dangerous waters; if a person is accused of sexual abuse, they may react very strongly, especially if they are guilty.
I wish you the best of luck and hope it was just innocent.
2006-06-23 04:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up women's shelters in the area or look for friends you can stay with as a plan. Then immediately find a local psychiatrist and make an appointment for your sons. You don't want to allow your husband to be blamed for something he didn't do, but you need to also make sure you can guarantee their accusations and have a plan of escape if you need to move out. I wish you the best and I'm sorry to hear that.
2006-06-23 04:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by BA6793 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a father, and work in the Criminal Justice field. As hard as it may be you have to have this type of claim looked into. There are many behavioral science professionals that can help, or a social worker may help. Someone that is not emotionally connected MUST make the decision of whether or not a criminal act occurred! Protect your children at all costs.
2006-06-23 04:17:26 · answer #5 · answered by T &L B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, I would leave that alone, maybe seek a professional, who is experienced in this area and talk with them.
For all you know, he might have seen his father scratch himself, he then imitated and found he enjoyed it.
Don't get upset and don't lead. Make some phone calls.
I know someone had a similar situation, but the father put some cortisone on the little boy after when he had a rash and it escalated with improper handling.
2006-06-23 04:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront the Daddy
2006-06-23 07:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes I would talk to the father and let him know what the boy said and when he denies it I would set up some video cameras that he cant see or find and see what you come up with if you call the law right now they will not look into it they will just take your kids I am not saying that this is not important but i would look into it a little and find out what is going on before you make any fast decision I hope that you find out and I hope that it was just a misunderstanding
2006-06-23 04:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by crystal a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call 1-800-4-a-child and you can talk the situation over with professionals and get advice without necessarily having to report him yet.
I think you SHOULD report him AND leave him, but if that idea overwhelms you, start with the phonecall. And defintely don't leave your children alone with their dad anymore! Good luck!
2006-06-23 13:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by angelsister23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be concerned of course as a parent but also 3 year old like to play with them self's even with out any encouragement. When my daughter was 3 i was horrified to find an open condom under her bed when i was cleaning her room. I asked her where she got it from and she said from my brother (he's 17 and lives with me) I was horrified and instantly confronted him. She had told me that he had showed her how to put it on. and then i was really mad when my brother said he didn't know anything about it i kicked him out of my house. Later that day she came to me with another condom and I asked her if she could show me how to put it on and she gladly put it over her foot and pulled it up as far as she could and then told me it was a rain boot she then told me to wait and she ran downstairs to my brothers room opened his dresser and took out another condom opened it up all by herself and slid it over the other foot then she told me she had rain boots just like boots the monkey on Dora. I felt bad for accusing my brother although i did take her to the doctor and had her check for any signs of abuse and came back all clear. to your son daddy taught him could mean that well he's seen daddy do it to himself i catch my husband with his hand there all the time i guess it's a guy thing. Try to get as much info out of your son with out putting answers in his head before anything talk to the father if you are still not happy set up some hidden camera's around the house or if you know that your son is in danger get out of there now. just a suggestion though don't always take what a 3 year old tells you at word value try to find out what he really means. Good luck
2006-06-23 10:13:52 · answer #10 · answered by Rachelle A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋