I've dated this guy for 5 years. I see him once a week b/c of scheduling issues. We've been fighting a lot (both our faults). I've been trying to get involved in his activities (world of warcraft) but even that doesn't seem to help. I feel like he's pulling back. We've tried talking about it but things never get better. Sex has decreased, but that might be due to health problems.
2006-06-23 03:37:48 · 15 answers · asked by faire_raven 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is there any hope? What can I do; what can we do?
2006-06-23 03:40:16 · update #1
5 years! LEAVE HIM! please stop being in denial. why are you holding on to something that is broken. if your bike is broken toss it, plate broken toss it don't fix anything that looks terrible. like your relationship. if i were you and i have done this myself, i would just cut him off. no explanation. no calls, take your voice mail off etc if he catches up to you just tell him the relationship was a waste of valuable time. go find happiness like i'm doing. i am pretty sure you have material items that you got tired off and threw away. LIKE NIKE SAYS "JUST DO IT" YOU ARE letting him stand in the way of future happiness. the right person can't come along as long as this obstacle is standing in the way. clean up the clutter in your home and YOUR LIFE!
2006-06-23 03:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are so quick to assume that "he must be seeing someone else." But in the event that neither one of you are seeing someone else, then here is my advice to you.
5 years is a long time to have invested in a relationship. You have to find all of the things that you first loved about eachother. It's harder to find the longer you go. It's easy to remember all of the bad crap at a time like this. It makes quitting look easy. If you really love this guy and he loves you then you have to find some common ground. Don't try to jump in his activities or don't let him jump in yours. You are 2 different people in 1 relationship. You need to find a new hobby (or something) that you both want to do. Or take turns picking random things to do. So what if you don't like the things that he wants to do or the other way around. The point is that you are making memories and doing something new to both of you. It really makes you realise all the great things that you can easilly forget about a person.
And if you try to make it work and it doesn't. For whatever reason. Then you know that at least you did all you can do. Good Luck.
* ~*~My spell check is broken!~*~*
2006-06-23 10:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem that after five years, you guys would have found a way to get together more often if you were serious. Fighting all the time usually means that one of you, is hoping the other will break it off, so they can get out without bieng the one to do it. Unless you see a change happening soon, do you really want to spend the next few years in this kind of relationship?
2006-06-23 10:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by psycmikev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've already tried getting involved in his interests and that hasn't worked, I think the next step is to sit him down and tell him how you are feeling. Ask him if he feels like the relationship is in trouble and express your fears to him. It may be that he just feels comfortable with you and doesn't realize that your relationship is turning stale. Whatever the reasons for the fighting and lack of communication, you need to get them out in the open if you hope to continue on with this guy.
Good luck and best wishes from NY
2006-06-23 10:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a very similar situation. I know it's hard but back off, give him some space. If he doesn't come back, or seek you out again, you have your answer... (take my advice, I'm not using it...if ya know what I mean). I've called him repeatedly, used text messaging, sent e-mail - he's totally blowing me off and after a 4-year relationship. All I've done is humiliate myself and act sophomoric. I have some of his belongings. Eventually I hope to set up an appointment to deliver them to him...at least he'll have to look me in the eye to say goodbye.
2006-06-23 10:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your relationship has come to its end but you both are to scared to let go. From personal experience when there is alot of fighting for stupid things nine times out of ten, the relationship is just not working anymore.
2006-06-23 10:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by anw110784 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's seeing someone else. Could there be anyone he's getting involved with that perhaps he works with in his job or the game? 5 years is a fair amount of time.....But that's what happened to me.
2006-06-23 10:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by Karen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can be a lot of things
give him some time give you some time to clear away minds 5 years are 5 years nobody will forget that just like that maybe he is seeing other person or maybe not maybe he is just bored it can be a lot of things just dont push things give time to the time
2006-06-23 10:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by delta9thc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a "non-computer nerd" & live happily ever after. Come on, World of Warcraft? You KNOW he plays that stupid game way too much & probly thinks about it more than you. You can do much better than that loser
2006-06-23 10:41:36 · answer #9 · answered by jayhawk1124 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a week ? What kind of relationship is that ? You need to end this chapter and start a new one.
2006-06-23 10:41:15 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋