Do relationships with big age gaps really last? I was engaged to a guy when I was 24 and he was 32. He acted like such a baby. I thought that an older guy would be a bit more mature, but I guess he wasn't ready for commitment. Then I met a guy that was 21. When we met I was 25. We are very much alike and get along great most of the time. The only problem is that I know he isn't ready for a commitment anytime soon. Is it worth the wait for me or am I wasting my time? I love him dearly but is that enough. I am going to be 27 next month and I am starting to want a marriage and a family, with a house and all that jazz. What should I do? Should I cut my losses now and move on? What if I can't find someone that I connect with like I do with him? Has anyone else gone through a similar situation/decision?
2006-06-23 02:25:01 · 11 answers · asked by jetskichick25 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some more details....I have talked to my current BF about this. The thing is that he wanted to get married too in the beginning, but now he is telling me that he feels he is too young. I know that he loves me, but is he just buying time with me?
2006-06-23 02:33:09 · update #1
These relationships can work. What's important is that you both understand what each others differences and similarities are and understand each others background, values and beliefs. There must be respect for each other because both of you come different environments which is base on your age. I believe when two people take a chance and get to know each other, they will discover beautiful things about each other. This is true in any relationship. I believe the most important thing in a relationship is taking two people from various backgrounds and the joy is making a relationship work. Remember there much give and take in any relationship.
2006-06-23 02:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by Basilchef 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't have any clue what he wants. Do you want to live the rest of your life with someone who is unsure of whether or not he loves you enough to marry you?
Age gaps do work, my husband is 6 years older than me. I was only 18 when we met, he was 24. He proposed to me after we were together for 2 years. WE both knew what we wanted out of life because we communicated our wants, needs,and goals.
We talked about marriage,kids,jobs,where we wanted to be in 5 years...ten years...15 years...and so on.We also went to premarital counseling....when making a life changing decision like that we both wanted to make sure we were getting married for the right reasons, that's why our marriage has lasted so long., Our committment to eachother hasn't changed.
We have been married now for 11 years, but it taked very hard work. We have had some very rough times, but we worked through thwem because we love eachother and are in love with eachother. We also take our vows to heart. There is nothing that would separate us...and believe me,we have been tested to the limits at times!
But we weren't in love with the idea of marriage.....we loved eachother and made sure that we both were on the same page.
Are you sure that you have all your cards on the table with him?
If he wanted to get married before, but not now, what are his reasons? Do you truly believe that he will change and are you willing to wait for him?
I would definitely put a deadline on this situation. Do NOT give him an ultimatum...(it will only cause problems) but set a personal deadline...if he doesn't give you a definite answer about marriage (either yes or no) within X amount of time, then move on.
You are still so young (most don't get married now until they are 30 or so statistically) Don't be in such a hurry....love does come to those who least expect it!
2006-06-23 04:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by Amy Swallows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that if you end it where you are the situation will be no better, because like you said you are almost 27 and you would have to start from scratch and you dont know how things would work out. I think you should stay with the guy that you are with. and how do you know is he ready for commitment? did you bring some of these things up to him (kids, marriage, etc.)?
2006-06-23 02:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by Shay Boogie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should because if that person isnt headed in the same direction as yourself move and maybe one day you will find the one, And also what is good when you start dating someone ask them how they feel about certain issues such as marriage, kids and so forth depending on the answer you will know whether or not to persue it or move on.
2006-06-23 02:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by Neek-Neek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound it he buy time. I would say don't pick either and drop them both and find a person that has a good job and wants to marry.
Or do what most females have done and get one child and start you life without a male and get a house. Most females know that more guy don't want to get married and indepent. And later find a husband hunt.
2006-06-23 03:36:07 · answer #5 · answered by houtexknights330 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was with a guy for 4 year of my same age and it was the worst experience i've had so far talk about imature...we even have a child together and he hasn't seen her for the past 2 months.... i recently met a guy who is 34 so there's a 10 year difference and i absolutely love it.... we have a lot in common and he's amazing with my daughter!!!! so i think the age difference really goes based on the people involved.
2006-06-23 02:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess that depends on you, whether or not you love him enough, or if you want marriage sooner, i was in a relationship with a younger guy, and we got along just fine. i was 46 and he was 32, i dont think age matters, if you love him and you think he might change his mind someday, then wait. oh by the way, my relationship is still ok.
2006-06-23 02:35:09 · answer #7 · answered by booper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd look a lot less on numbers and imagine probabilities. perchance 15% age distinction. for instance in the journey that your one hundred you are able to date someone 15 years older or youthful . in the journey that your 18 , in undemanding words 2 years older or youthful.
2016-11-15 04:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because older men want to mold you into something that you are not and when things do go there way they tend to act like big a** baby so u tell him go back to your momma cause u ain't it.
2006-06-23 02:31:30 · answer #9 · answered by geminigurl2404 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well talk to him about it...see how he feels about you..and if he;s willing to spend the rest of his life with you...Only way you find out things is by asking questions...
2006-06-23 02:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by Scorpio Lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋