I already have have a three piece suite and a wife with big hair. I'm taking drama and magician courses at the community college. I can grin and grimmace with the best of them.
So what else will I need?
2006-06-23 02:08:58 · 13 answers · asked by idspudnik 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Oh, yes and I have already filed the papers with IRS for tax exemption as a religious organization and set up my bank account. I'm ready for the money to start rolling in!
2006-06-23 02:18:18 · update #1
Yes! Pick a sucker group, claim you've read every word of the Bible and believe it in its literal sense. State that you read somewhere in there, like John 4:52, that if your followers don't support your ministry financially, they'll go to h*ll.
2006-06-23 02:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by jfahd 4 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Yes. Brainwash yourself into a complete ultra-right wing fundamentalist mindset. This will allow you to give fiery speeches denoucning not only evil, but also governments and other people in the world (i.e. supporters of evolution) then you can go down the path further, and start condemning people to Hell. Oh, and don't forget that offering, half of which will just "happen" to disappear into off-shore bank accounts. of course, if you're going to be an honest televangelist, forgive me for the above mocking of others of your trade, and simply read your Bible many, many, many, many times.
2006-06-23 02:15:56 · answer #2 · answered by nazgulslayer78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need charisma and bullshit. A big gaudy Hummer painted orange with PTL written on the front. Lots and lots of Holy Spirit plastic key chains to sell to all of your followers on fixed incomes for the nominal fee of $29.99. Oh!, don't forget you plants in the audience for your healing service don't slap them too hard. Lastly, You Will need some gigantic f--king balls and it helps to believe you own bullshit.You will go far reverend!!!
2006-06-23 02:24:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The unmitigated audacity to look people in the eyes from behind the camera, and lie like Satan!
Of course it would help greatly if you were able to cry on cue, really know your bible, and be able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.
2006-06-23 02:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We dont have commuters in my section yet my chum makes use of an iron provider and had to attend awhile till the female had an beginning to do her ironing as she replace into thoroughly booked up and at£2.50 to £3 an merchandise she must be doing truly nicely. i desire it truly works out as a sturdy enterprise for you. attempt promoting on your community paper and keep domicile windows and usuall yonce you havea few clientele observe of mouth and recomendation is the main suitable way.
2016-10-31 08:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well darn. Those were actually the exact things I was going to tell you not to do or have. Please, no televised healings. No requests for money. In fact, just scratch the whole idea is my advice, who needs another televangelist?
2006-06-23 02:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, don't. I have enough trouble dealing with the number of scam artists already on.
2006-06-23 02:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont just do it because you want to. or because you want to be funny it is a serius thing and you should do what you truly believe
2006-06-23 02:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lauren P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an unquinchable thirst for poor peoples money.
2006-06-23 02:14:40 · answer #9 · answered by proud mommy and wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An internship with BILL CLINTON --- you'll be up to your ears in money and HOOOO!
2006-06-23 02:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by pilotB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋