My friend has just become the father of a gorgeous little girl, however there is some concern if he is the biological father. He has known this from the start of the pregnancy and has stood by the girl, however they have just had a dna test and are awaiting the result.
Any help/advice I can offer him?
2006-06-22 21:44:28 · 25 answers · asked by Hannah 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think to start with he stayed with her as he was unsure if it was his and obviously wanted to be a part of her life if it was.
I dont think he's in love with her (they where having huge problems before the pregnancy). However for he does feel alot for her and the little girl.
I think he's mainly concerned that if shes not his (BIOLOGICALLY) and he does stay and hring her up as his own then her real dad might wanna be in touch with her too, and he may get pushed aside.
I really feel for the guy, I honeslty do think shes his as there is alot of resemblence (but with babies you cant properaly tell) not at such a young age. She is only 11 DAYS OLD.
He was there at the birth.
2006-06-22 22:34:29 · update #1
if he has stood for this long he should not give up after all a baby is a baby..
2006-06-22 21:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by THE FANTASY PRINCESS 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Here's the thing: Did he sign the birth certificate as the father? Because in some states, it doesn't matter if you are the biological father or not. If you sign the birth certificate, you're pretty much the legal father, and as such, the mother and child are entitled to child support regardless. I know this because my husband also had a dna test with his daughter. Fortunately, he is the father and we are all happy to see her when her mom allows it. Anyway, it really is up to your friend... no one can force his feelings one way or the other. It's like asking a woman to raise a child that was conceived by a man's love affair... dont' criticize any decision he makes... support him as long as he does the right thing if he is proven to be the biological father... he will appreciate it!!! Good luck to all of you!!!
2006-06-23 00:05:45 · answer #2 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the baby is only 11 days old, and DNA tests come back stating he's not the father, then he should step aside and let the biological father raise the child, if he wants to. The biological father has a right to raise his child and hava a say in the child's life. If he decides to stay on, it'll be strictly as a step parent, but the father does have a right. If he's good to the girl as a stepfather, he will not get pushed aside.
2006-06-23 08:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by ladyphoenix13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he has been prepared to stay this long, he is a great guy and deserves to bring this little girl up as his own, regardless of whether she is his or not.
My dad is not my biological father, but he has been one heck of a dad, and I love him to bits. The fact that I am not his biological daughter has never stood in the way of our relationship. I know my real father, but do not have much of a relationship with him, as he was never there as I was growing up.
My son is also being brought up by my boyfriend, who is not his real dad, and he has just started calling him dad. My boyfriend is over the moon, and it is the nicest thing in the world to see them together.
I suggest you tell him about some of this, and let him know that he can be a good father regardless, and that that little girl will love him and appreciate him anyway.
2006-06-22 21:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by Krissyinthesun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree the baby needs a dad regardless, but if it is not his, then not his problem. Women need to quit thinking about themselves and getting pregnant before they can provide a stable loving family for the children they want to bring into this world. But any ways, If they have a good relationship and he plans to marry her, go for it even if the baby is not his. Otherwise get out quickly. He will not do anyone a favor in the long run. He needs to think how his future wife would feel about his raising a child that is not his. Along with how future children would feel. Plus he would have no legal rights to that child the mom could get him attached and when she felt like it cut him out. Bad news all around if it is not his. Just support him he will do whatever he wants no matter what.
2006-06-22 22:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by betty3davison 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is the father of the child, then he has a right to be its father and a legal obligation too. He doesn't have to be with the mother to be a good father, and this is one of the worst reasons to stay with her. If he's worried about his legal rights, then he should seek legal advice immediately.
If he's not the father and he wants to stay with this woman, then he still needs to protect his rights and go through the procedure of adoption, that way, if they ever split up, he will be able to maintain a relationship with the child.
If he doesn't want to be with this woman and the child isn't is, then he should walk away sooner rather than later, so he and the child don't get attached to one another.
I wish him good luck and hope that he does the right thing.
2006-06-23 01:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by Violent and bored 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dose he trust and love the girl.She seems to have been up front with him from the start.YOU say it all(the father of a gorgeous little girl)WHY have DNA tests biological fathers don,t allways make the best ones.I hope the results are what they both want and they both think about the little girl
2006-06-22 22:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by sue B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANYBODY can be a father.
It takes a REAL MAN to be a dad!
If he loves his girl and wants to take up the role of dad, then he should. However, if he has difficulties should the DNA test reveal he is not the father, then he should get out NOW, before he has any kind of impact on this baby's life.
It's a terrible situation, but I wish him well.
2006-06-22 21:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Sitting Still 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's hope that he his the father because there is not many guys that stick around,and for him to stick around even when the might not even be his is a first today,what ever problems they had they need to sort out because he would not of just stuck around for the baby he must really love the mom inside he is just properly still trying to get over the fact that she cheated and the baby might not be his we should be looking at the mother in this case and not the farther.
2006-06-23 22:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it that the baby is newborn. If I were him, I'd stay in the picture, but in the background until paternity is determined. That way he's there if he is, but isn't so involved that he won't be crushed when he's not the father. Best advice is to find a woman that doesn't sleep around. Good Luck.
2006-06-22 21:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by wldntulike_2know 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he loves the mother, then I don't see why it should be a problem to stay. If not he should go as it will only cause heart ache all around, I know my daughter's father left after two years.
2006-06-22 21:50:10 · answer #11 · answered by Sweetcakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋