through out my life, i have never had a relationship.i have approached many ladies but none of them has shown interest in me and the recent one after befriending her for nearly 3years accepted but later told me she's seing three guys that i should decide either to accept to be the fourth or look for another lady.i feel i need some one to be mine yet i cannot find the right one .does it mean that there is someone there for me or not?this is serious because my life is at a risk-advise please.
2006-06-22 21:43:58 · 25 answers · asked by kennyaggy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girls can tell if you're trying to hard to be with them. Relax around them be yourself and sooner or later you'll catch one worth having.
As for being guy no.4, that's a definate no no. It sounds like your self-esteem is already low, do you really want to push it all the way to hell??
I know what it's like to want some-one in your life, I've been there. In fact I think we all have at sometime, but as it's been said before take time out to know yourself, enjoy being with yourself, discover your likes and dislikes so that you don't bend into being what others want. I like guys that have their own minds and points of view, if he's all up in my butt, I'm outta there before you can blink.
Believe me life does get better, it's up to you to make it how you want it..
God bless you..x
2006-06-22 22:01:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetcakes 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a mug! Should I be a fourth? Please, get some self-esteem! No person is worth the pain and anguish you are putting yourself through. maybe your attitude in approaching ladies is one which needs to change. The fact that you are so keen to find that someone may be too much too soon for the ladies and cause the disparaging effect of staying single. Everyone needs someone that is a fact of life, but enjoy being single, socialise like everyday people and when you are used and happy with being single, someone will pop along, such is life! Approaching your lady friend after 3 years is not the best move. Your friendship would have developed to an extent where the idea or concept of a lover relationship would have been too strange and would not have worked! that sort of thing only happens in films, not real life!
My advice would be to remove the overwhelming desire to find someone from your attitude and learn to appreciate life being single. This in turn will make you more relaxed and approachable to women!
2006-06-22 21:54:12 · answer #2 · answered by blakey84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might help if you stop calling women "babe". It is a bit difficult to advise you because we dont' see you "in action". What is your approach like when you see a woman whom you find attractive? Do you go out of your way to try to impress her? or do you try to find out what you can about her? Have you established "lines" which you feel would get the ladies to notice?
It is really a matter of just being yourself. As the saying goes - you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince/princess.
Have you tried asking your lady friend of 3 years if your approach could and should be improved?
I would not suggest that you become her "fourth" - you need someone who will know that you are special only to her and her alone.
Maybe this female friend can start introducing you to some of her friends and see how that goes. If she can see you in action, and if she notices things that you do, then she can let you know so you can go on the right track.
God bless and good luck!
Love will find you - you won't find love - when you least expect it, love will be at your door.
2006-06-22 21:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to step back and evaluate what you really want from life and then decide how you will achieve it...we all want to feel loved, cherished and secure, and yet sometimes it seems so hard to actually find fulfillment in this area...concentrate on pure friendship initiall...get to know that person...but keep your options open as it may only be friendship that results and not the relationship you are seeking...have a good circle of friends around you and value those...be confident about yourself as a person and don't see non-reciprocation as a slur on you as a person...I would certainly advise you not to become number four...why would you want to sell yourself short? I am sure you are a lovely person...just take your time and you will find a soul mate...I wish you every happiness hun!
2006-06-22 21:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by amelia_madeline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trial and error. That's the only way. But everyone is different. There is no guidelines to how to behave with one girl . What you should invest on in your personality and knowledge. Get out more, do some sports get enrolled in sports club or some sort. This will lead you differrent opportunities. If you are shy it takes a long time for you to meet some one. You have to be strong for yourself first, then you will find some one.
2006-06-22 21:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by Yves L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darling kenny, you sound so pleasant.
anyway, i would like to know how you approach these female coz i tell you it counts alot. when i look back on my dating years i rmember the origional meetings and not the 'hey we been freinds for years so why not' ones. a woman wants to be elavated in a crowd, she wants to be the special lady in the room, singled out and perusued with a passion she can see seeping out of a guys pores. now there is lust and there is passion. the way you approach her will define it all. a woman just has to take one good look at you spend five minuites in your presence and she can sum up your profile 80% accurately. yes we seen it all before i tell you. so next time you meet a babe, dress right, talk right, and if she rocks your world go for her. its better to have tried and lost than not tried at all. and please dont be desperate. we hate desperate guys.
2006-06-22 21:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have pateinece friend. If shes really for you, she will come back to you sooner or laeter and u neednet worry about this. meanwhile learn to be yourself in front of ppl and stop living a life opf pretance. never give up hope and if your love is true, she will be with you before u start missing her. keep the faith and all the best
2006-06-22 21:46:38 · answer #7 · answered by rahul s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not consider being the 4th. I think that if you wont try as hard. . .youll find someone. Most girls do not like it when a guy seems to be desperate. Take a girls approach for once, go out, look good, and play hard to get!!
2006-06-22 21:48:43 · answer #8 · answered by Miss C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you searching out of your league..no offense a girl with more than 2 guys has to be hott or a real ****..stop looking for sluts and really like someone for who they are? Once you stop looking and just go with the flow..it'tt will come..and don't make it life or death..just go chill out
2006-06-22 21:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by ILAUGHATU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep her as bench player, she doesn't have to be your starter. Nephew, you're starting out wrong. Why do you need a serious relationship? Women smell desperate from a mile a way. You need to be more social with women, without being so serious. (that attracts more women) BINGO!!
2006-06-22 22:02:33 · answer #10 · answered by Clark Kent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋