I am a married woman of 21 years. At one point in my marriage experience much trouble to a point where divorced was discussed and separation took place.
During this time another man came into my life. Completel aware of my situation, the relationship lasted for 10 years. After a year of separation, reconciliation took place with my husband.
During that time, my lover made no demands of me, I was queen in that castle, I came and went as I pleased. As if having 2 complete homes. One day I decided to walk out and never return or call.
2 years have gone by and he too has never made an attempt to contact me or look for me.....
I think of him often and miss him dearly but I do not call or want to look him up.
I would like to know if he really loved me or was it all just a game for him? I need closure in my life but at this point I can not bring myself to contacting him.
2006-06-22 17:31:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am a FEMALE.
2006-06-22 17:40:34 · update #1
10 years is a long time to play a game. Maybe he feels the same way -- he just wants to know what happened (but can't bring himself to call you). You should probably just decide to let it go, for your marriage's sake. But, ... (you have to decide).
2006-06-22 17:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by cosmosclara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you can't bring yourself to contact him is deep down you understand how little there really is to be gained. You miss this man because he was an important part of your life for ten years, but he isn't the first person to fade into memory and he won't be the last. Your life is in the present, with the man you married and worked so hard to win back. Contacting this other man after two years have elapsed isn't guaranteed to do anything except stir up old feelings that have no chance of fruition.
Personally, I'd say this other man really loved you in the time you had together. Once the circumstances changed, he loved you enough to let you go back to your husband for a second chance. His silence after the fact may be his way of reconciling the feelings of loss. Game players almost always reveal themselves long before the relationship actually ends.
Perhaps you might be able to work out some platonic meeting with this other man someday, but is it really worth the risk? You may never learn the absolute truth about his intentions, but you've been given an opportunity to walk away from that time in your life with few regrets. Think of it this way-- you'll always have Paris. You may want this other man around at times, but you're NEEDED where you're at right now.
2006-06-22 17:54:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is why did you have a relationship with this man
when you were still married. you should have gotten out of one
situation before you put yourself in a 10 years situation. the fact'that you could come and go as you please. is not something'to be proud. of . and now the game is on you. he made'had feeling for you. but look at the outcome of the situation'honest is the best thing that you should have done.
now you need to move on . and learn from this. i would not contact him. if he really want to get with you. he would have.
2006-06-22 17:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by jazzsinger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you were having sex with him, then it for just that reason. Spend more time working on your marriage. Go to counseling to help you figure out what you need, marriage counseling if you think the marriage is going south. Remember you made a commitment for better or worse.
2006-06-22 17:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by confused 38 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very interesting. i think you left and he respected your choice and did not want to interfere with your family (anymore than he already did).
I am sure he loved you and enjoyed your company but you must be happy that he didn't wedge himself into your newly reconciled marriage and really cause problems for you.
As much as he did the wrong thing by having an affair with a married woman, he handled it about as respectably as I could imagine.
2006-06-22 17:39:03 · answer #5 · answered by frontmann2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait I missed it. Are you a guy or a girl?
edit-oops! sorry. lol I thought you said you were married to a woman for 21 yrs. That makes alot more sense now.
2006-06-22 17:36:08 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years have gone by...neither of you looked eachother up...it satsified your needs at the time...move on
2006-06-22 17:59:36 · answer #7 · answered by Gina N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it... keep moving without looking back.
2006-06-22 18:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by olivia6799 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋