Do I still be friendly with that lady?

Question

I'm from S.E.Asia living in the US for the past 10 years. Recently I made friends with a lady in my apartment. Her son became close friends with my son and played every evening with him, more than with any other kids. Last week was the kid's birthday and they had a pool party. The mother had invited only neighbors who were "white". She left us and another African American kid out from the list. I felt very offended. I still see that lady outside everyday. Do I still move with her as if nothing happened. Pl. advise me.

Thank You everyone. I'm overwhelmed by ur responses. My son is still playing with the other kid because I also felt that I should not spoil their innocent friendship and their mind by bringing in the topic of racism. But what hurt me the most was the fact that the lady is expecting her 2nd child in July, knows it is going to be a C section and has no one to help. I had offered to babysit her son for free during the time when she has to be at the hospital. So much for courtesy!! Maybe I have to start thinking twice before offering to help others.

Answer 1

I agree, just let the kids be friends and they will decide whether to be friends. Don't even take an offense to that, which that really makes me mad when people are so prejudice with color, or differences, but it is really about the kids. I don't understand why if I am white and you are a different race why that would make either of us better than one another. Just know that you are a good person and don't listen to prejudice people because I think that them acting like that they just have a lot of things they are happy with in their life so they have to judge other people out their own stupidity of not getting to know a person just because they might be different than them. Just surround yourself with people that are nonjudgemental good people!!!!!!!!! God bless you and keep your head up, you are just as good as any person next to you!

Answer 2

if the kids are friends, let them remain so. if you have abirthday party or something, don't leave the kid out to get back at the mother. of course, just because the kids are friends, doesn't mean you have to associate with the mother. if she asks you why you have become less friendly, tell her, calmly, how you feel. you may find that the truth is something you didn't expect. it may well have been the kid's choice, peer pressure can be powerful or who knows what. be hurt if that is how you feel, but don't decide the reason for it until you know.

Answer 3

just try talking it out with her and see why she did this. perhaps she has a good reason for it that we just cant think about at the moment. never be mean to her or stop being friendly because she probably isnt aware she offended you. Maybe she'll apoligize and make sure to give u the invite next time. Or maybe shes just a stupid racist. If thats the case, just stay away from her. Dont be mean because that would only reafirm her racist beliefs.

Answer 4

i think i would be offended too.. i think you should just be nice if you meet up with her but i do not think i would go overboard with it either.. i think it was very rude and i think that i would talk to my son if it was me and see if he can not find other playmates to play with....i am a white american and if my child had a friend he played with every day but was not invited to the party i would have something to say.. one thing how do you know what your son is feeling over this...it was very wrong of that lady to do that...what to do,,, i would think about it and then determine what you think is best for you and your son....but i do not think i could go on as if nothing happened....

Answer 5

I had the same experience too. My White gal friend will let go my hand in campus when we bumb into friends. She just don't know how to react, as many still have the white supermecy attitude within them.

So, to save her from all those trouble, I stop hanging around with her.

Sometime it is not her fault, but her friends who will joke on them. They really do not know how to handle that. She may still treat you as a sincere friend. But the insult from her friends is what she can't handle.

Think again. Friends? Well, just adjust the expectation.

Answer 6

I feel let the kids enjoy each other's company as they are too young and naive to understand all the black/white things...on the other hand you can just stay away from her..because if things like caste, creed, colour, nationality come between friendship..it is not worth it..find someone who actually loves you and not ur skin!!

Answer 7

yeah, I would definitely ask her about it. Just be forward and honest. Be polite, but tell her that it was hurtful to you and your
child that you were left out. If she can't come up with a decent response, distance yourself from her and I would slow down your children's relationship as well. When I was a kid, my parents would keep me from hanging around with people whose parents were of questionable character. It was better in the long run because kids ultimately turn out like their parents and the kids they hang out with.

Answer 8

No. You let her know what kind of a hypocrite jerk she is. Don't separate the children, but be careful, because if she's a racist, chances are she'll pass that on to her child, and he could make a comment that will hurt your son.

Answer 9

they don't have the monopoly on the obnoxious, vindictive and obese. There are a lot interior the united kingdom too. perhaps there are no cultured and lady-like functionality fashions in American society?

Answer 10

cut your relation from her, be serious nothing more than formal greeting and as for the kids if they are good friends don't bother just leave your self out of the picture.