I saw one that said, "I would like to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up your ***!"
Anybody else got some good ones?
2006-06-22 16:58:20 · 29 answers · asked by Modest intellect 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Breast Inspection
20 Feet Ahead
(Please Have 'Em Out)
I'm Hung Like Einstein
And Smart as a Horse
Take Your Ex Out Tonight
(One Bullet Oughtta Do it)
Jesus is coming
LOOK BUSY
Driver Carries No Ca$h
HE'S MARRIED
I'm Busy. You're ugly.
Have a Nice Day.
Wife and Dog Missing
REWARD FOR DOG
DRUGS LEAD NOWHERE
But it's the Scenic Route
Are You Having Phone Sex Or
Do You Always Drive That Way?
Can't Feed 'Em?
DON'T BREED 'EM
I Child-Proofed My House
BUT THEY STILL GET IN
I BRAKE FOR...
Oh $hit, No Brakes!
You Can't Spell "Crap"
WITHOUT "RAP"
4 Out of 3 People
Have Trouble With Fractions
TAKE REVENGE
**** On A Pigeon
GAS, GRASS, OR ***
No One Rides For Free
The Shortest Sentence
Is "I Am."
THE LONGEST IS "I DO"
WHERE THE HELL IS
EASY STREET?
If Money Is The Root
Of All Evil, Why Do
Churches Beg for It?
KEEP HONKING
I'M RELOADING
Guns Don't Kill People
Drivers With Cellphone Do
GUN CONTROL
means using
BOTH HANDS
Cat The Other
White Meat
Ever stop to think...
And forget to start again?
WORK HARDER
Millions On Welfare
Depend On You
I've Got A Perfect Body
BUT IT'S IN THE TRUNK
AND BEGINNING TO SMELL
HANG UP AND DRIVE!
2006-06-22 17:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by MzzandtheChuchuBees 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
True story. A few years ago, I saw a bumper sticker on a car in a parking lot, which read:
PMS = Punish Men Severely
I looked to make sure nobody was watching, took out my pocketknife and altered it slightly. I removed the second 'n', so that it read:
PMS = Punish Me Severely
I only hope the owner was at some big feminist rally when they discovered the change.
My all-time favorite UNALTERED bumper sticker was on a car with California license plates. It read:
Honk if you've been married to Elizabeth Taylor!
2006-06-23 00:16:01 · answer #2 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some old lady cut me off in traffic some time ago, very nearly causing an accident, at 65 miles an hour. So there I sat, looking at a bumper sticker that says, "Abortion stops a beating heart." Turns out we were both going shopping at the same mall. On the way in, I saw her car, borrowed a marker from my girlfriend, and added, "But then again, so does my driving." Well, at least it made ME feel better.
2006-06-23 00:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
>>Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
>>The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
>>I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would
rather be.
>>Horn broken, watch for finger.
>>I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
>>Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>>He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>>I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
>>My kid had sex with your honor student.
>>I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
>>We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
>>All men are idiots ... I married their king.
>>We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
>>Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
>>Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
>>My girlfriend can't wrestle, but you oughta see her box!
>>Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>>Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
>>A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
>>So many pedestrians, so little time.
2006-06-23 00:00:22 · answer #4 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about this:
"honk twice if you wanna screw Brunhilda" (and then the yahoo logo)
i have 3 on my van
1 is the Jolly Roger (dead men tell no tales)
1 says the best way to a man's heart is straight through his ribcage
& the last one is "I support chicken farmers" (long story on that one, best when told under the influence)
2006-06-23 17:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by Cap'n Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus says: Don't be a dick. (from http://www.penny-arcade.com/ )
Math is delicious! (check out http://www.questionablecontent.net/ to see what this one means)
Geeks do it better!
Come to to the dark side, we have cookies!
Rouges do it from behind. (penny arcade again)
My other car sucks.
My other car could kick your car's ***!
Jesus is my guild leader. (yet another Penny Arcade one)
Keep honking, I'm reloading. (the quinessential redneck sticker)
Keep honking, I'm sleeping with your wife or girlfriend!
My car's tiny, but I'm compensating for my large-comings.
PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.
PETA sucks.
I'm a member of PHPP: People for the Hating of People in PETA.
I hate PETA!!!
Please don't let them take away my Halo!! (those games rock!)
My dog's smarter than you honor student.
I know your honor student rrreeeaaalllyyy well.
I banged your honor student.
Codename: Monkey Balls (Big Halo fans should recognize that one)
-BLAM!- (from Bungie, so technically another Halo one)
Cardboard Tube Samurai (again Penny Arcade)
One One Se7en (With the picture it's better) (another Halo reference and a reference to http://www.halo.bungie.org/ )
Spartan MC (Halo, I'm a roll!)
I love Caboose ( from http://www.redvsblue.com/ and kind of another Halo one)
Technically Cortana is naked.... (HHHHAAAALLLLOOOO!!!)
News from Nintendo, Wii suck. (f*** Nintendo)
I'm not drunk, I'm intoxicated.
I'm too care to drunk about you!
Warning: Redneck driver, stay back 300 feet.
How is my driving? Call 1800-F*CK-YOU!
The leprecon tells me to burn things.
Eat my shorts! (if you don't know where I got that, something is wrong with you)
MMMM.... Donuts... (same as the one above (hint http://www.thesimpsons.com/ )
My car's wearing a leather bra.
My car isn't wearing a bra.
64% percent of sharks could read if given proper lessons, according to a figure we just made up.
I'm commiting DWR- Driving While Redneck
I'm not speeding, I'm pretending I'm on the Autobahn!
And now the funniest one of all: Kerry/ Edwards in 2004
2006-06-23 00:05:35 · answer #6 · answered by Monty Python 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Lost
But I'm Making Record Time
2006-06-23 00:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bumper sitcker is another way of saying "Let's never hand out."
2006-06-23 00:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by mike d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 out of 3 people have problems with fractions
2006-06-23 00:01:07 · answer #9 · answered by go UCLA bruins! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes god loves you, but you are still an a$$h0_3. I saw that one a few years ago.
2006-06-23 00:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋