Why is adoption so much better?

Question

My friend thinks I'm weird for not liking the adoption choice, especially since I AM adopted, but I know she doesn't understand because she isnt adopted. Not only that but going through foster homes was a nightmare for me and after finally being adopted physical and sexual abuse tore my life apart.....people dont understand it unless they been through it....my feelings are if you made the choice to have unsafe sex then you should do whatever you can to take care of your new responsibilities. Im curious to know your thoughts.

Answer 1

First of all, I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience with foster parents and child services.

Second, there's nothing weird about not wanting to adopt. In fact, it's arguably a much more natural feeling to want to have a child of your own, as the natural sex drive encourages that.

Third, having no children or adopting a child is also a legitimate choice. The earth is grossly overpopulated and there are far too many children without homes now.

Fourth, neither you nor your friends ought to be judging each other on such choices. They are not right or wrong, nor is one choice inherently better than the other. Which is the better choice really depends on the person making that choice.

:)

Answer 2

Sounds like you and I are one in the same. I am also adopted. I've been through foster homes, orphanages. I've been abused in ways children or anyone for that matter should never be. However, I have always, and will always advise on adoption rather than abortion for sure. I think that you hold a grudge for the things that have been done to you. Trust me, you're not the only one. I'm sure you and I could share horrible stories until we're red in the face. I've come to just accept what has been done to me. It hasn't broken my spirit, it hasn't made me bitter, and it surely hasn't made me a statistic of "if it happened to you, you'll do it to your kids". For every 1 terrible foster home or orphanage, there's 100s that are wonderful. Of course keeping your children should be a main priority, but there are instances when the means are just not available for and to you. My biological father didn't have a choice in giving us up. We were taken away because my biological mother decided to run off with someone else, leaving him with 3 young children to raise himself. Without financial means, and unforseen situations, adoption isn't all that bad. I'm thankful everyday that i'm adopted. Think of it this way... There are millions of children born that weren't expected or wanted. You as I, and countless others, were CHOSEN. We were WANTED. We were given an opportunity that not all children were given. It's a treasure you should be proud of.

Answer 3

I don't believe in adoption at all...If you are willing to lay down and have sex and be stupid to not use birth control & you get pregnant then you should take care of what you created.

It is so simple to go and get on birth control and to buy a condom from a bathroom is like only 75 cents and if that guy can't afford that then he shouldn't be having sex.

I would rather have an abortion then give my own kid away to god knows who.

They may screen people before handing a baby over to be adopted but anyone can be an angel in actions and words but when they are behide closed doors who knows what they are like.

If i couldn't have kids of my own i wouldn't want someone else's sorry but that is how i am and how i feel about it

Answer 4

But thats no longer the issue its what about the kids that are left behind, I think adoption is a wonderful thing if your willing to take up the responsibility, I'm not adopted but I know what its like to have many different 'parents' and what its like to be abused, it ain't my idea of a picnic, but adoption is a good thing it shows the kids that there is good in people even if it isn't in their own biological parents.

Answer 5

I think that under certain circumstances adoption can be a wonderful thing! Some people just don't have the ability, money or time to devote to being a parent so the child is better off in a different home!

Answer 6

I think there are a lot of good people who desperately want to adopt, love and raise children. I know there are a lot of people who have children they don't want and can not care for and keep them any way. I know there are a lot of people on this site asking for advice on abortion and morning after pills.
As a mom who loves her 3 kids and wants more but can not have them. I see adoption as a wonderful option.
My grandmother was adopted. I have several cousins who are adopted and none of them have horror stories. They are loved and as much a part of our family as any of us who were born into it. I am sorry to hear about your situation and I know the Foster Care System is a nightmare and needs to be revamped and monitored strictly but adoption is not a bad thing. Adoption is a way for people who need to give love to be able to give it to people who need it. Giving a child up for adoption when you know it will be hard but you also know you don't want or can't keep the child is one of the most loving , unselfish acts a birth mother could commit.

Answer 7

It's true that their should be punishment for the unwed mother....but not if it means inflicting any torment on the child. Someone who gives their baby up should give it to a lving family who can't have kids of their own...not into foster care. Being abused was just your bad luck and is not at all associated with being adobted. Natural born children are abused just as much. You need to think of the baby's life. The mother just needs to be slapped.

Answer 8

adoption isn't necessarily better or worse than conceiving naturally or having IVF when you can't conceive naturally. everyone chooses to become a parent in different ways. some feel that it's their duty to adopt b/c there are children out there in need of good homes and some choose to adopt b/c they can't have children of their own. personally, I would love to experience pregnancy and birthing my own child, however, if I can't conceive naturally I wouldn't put myself through the disappointment of trying IVF. I would just adopt b/c I feel like if I can't conceive naturally then perhaps I'm not meant to carry a child in my womb. if adoption is what I'm meant to do in order to become a parent then I'm absolutely fine with that. an adopted child is just as much someone's child as one that has come from their womb.

Answer 9

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience, but what if the natural parents died and there are no other family members to care for the child?
What if she didn't have the "choice" to lay down and open her legs. cuz she was raped and she did not believe in abortion?
There are some good people out there willing to care for a child not of their own. There are some that are bad.

Answer 10

I think that adoption is the choice over abortion for many young ladies because they feel that they are giving a child a chance to live versus the inevitable......Alot of the time we have the feeling that "it'll never happen to us" when we are younger and alot of underage girls are pressured into putting up their children for adoption by their parents or guardians..........