Has anyone ever had a teen and felt....?

Question

This past week my teen and I had a lot of troubles. We have talked and I truly believe it is resolved. I know he is just growing up and that he didn't mean the things that were said and he apologized for what he did. He is really trying but I seem to be in a depression of sorts. I am praising him all the time for the good that he is doing but still I can't sleep thinking about what happened, can't eat worrying whether it will happen again...it's just the worry of it all that is causing this. He is only fifteen. Has anyone ever been through this before?

Thanks everyone. You were so kind. It's just hard because we have always had a strong connection with each other. I appreciate all of you. Nice to know I am not alone and it is normal.

Answer 1

Hey, don't ever forget that you are the mom and he is the kid. He needs you to be stable, resilient, long-suffering, and always there. You are mom ... like I said. That is what moms do. He will NEVER stop loving you. At 15, he needs to strike out on his own a bit.

Best book I have ever read about teenage boys, and men, is Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. My mother who raised 5 of us says that she really needed it when we were all young. You would gain from this. It is an easy read and, I dare say, up your alley.

Answer 2

It can be difficult raising teenagers. My oldest son is now 27, so I've already gone through the teen years with him. From the time he was in 7th grade until he was about 17 years old were the most difficult years for me - mostly a lot of defiance, talking back to me and arguing with me when I asked him to do something. I was a single mom at the time (not that that is an excuse for having ill-behaved kids) and his dad has been out of the picture since he was 3 months old. We really had some difficult times. Then when he turned 17 or 18, I don't know what happened - either he grew up or I developed more patience (maybe both). From that time on, we have gotten along really well. I also have a 10 year old, so I will be going through then teen years with him in a couple of years. I re-married 2 1/2 years ago, and his dad is still very much in the picture, so at least now I have 2 men in his life to back me up. Hopefully it will be easier this time. All I can tell you is (at least with me) it does get easier as they get older, if you can survive that long! The main thing is to keep the communication open - if you lose that, you are fighting a losing battle. It sounds like you're on the right track - you're talking and he's apologizing. Try not to be too hard on yourself - the guilt you feel is part of what is causing your depression. Thinigs will eventually work out. Best of luck to you and your son.

Answer 3

I have a couple of teenagers and thank God we haven't had many serious problems. My best advice to you as the adult is be the parent. Be the GUIDE. Don' try to be a teenager yourself.

Listen to him and really hear what he is saying to you, they really reveal themselves.... keep the lines of communication open. Give advice, don't lecture or scold him, he'll just withdraw and clam up!

I am very close to my kids and I do stay in their business although they do try to push me away but these days you have to be involved in their lives otherwise other people might. People that might not have the best interest in your child.

Although he might have said some hurtful things, ask yourself what happened that caused him to react this way. Did YOU bring it upon yourself? You mentioned that you are depressed yourself, before you can take care of other people you must first take care of yourself. And you better make it quick because your child is at a critical age when they need a mentor.

One of mine is getting ready to go away to college across a couple states away, and to be honest with you, it all came way too quick for me, these past 17 years just flew by in a matter of minutes.

Care for your child and love him dearly.

Answer 4

Really sounds like he has done something terrible, but your question doesnt' detail things enough. I went through hell with a son and daughter that are now in thier 20's. My son is still a problem child so to speak, and my daughter has found her way into being a responsible person who now has children. Feel the need to chat more privately about this try me at go18wheeler here at yahoo.com

Answer 5

Had trouble with my teens also. In today's world kids and teens are under a lot of peer pressure. Try to go on and not linger on it to long. Your son is a teenager, so you have to consider that. He's growing up mom.
Tell him everyday that you love him.

Answer 6

Unfortunatley, yes! These are what we call the teenage years. I have teen boys...age 17 and 15. They will push you and test you. I feel so quilty and responsible all the time. When you discipline them, stick to it..don't give in what ever you do. My son would say harsh things to me all the time..he learned this from his father..my ex. ( learned behavior ) I wish you all the best. If you would like to talk more please email me anytime. [e-mail]

Answer 7

Let it go. That is the best advice you can get. Yes it was hurtful and yes he may do it again but if he is trying and he sincerely apologized let it go. If it happens again I would seek family counseling for the two of you.

Answer 8

Oh yeah,
didnt "like" my son from 16 -> 24
loved him but didnt like the actions , attitude
now that he alot more mature..
I dont worry ( as much)

things will get better.. they grow up

Answer 9

OUCH !!! TEENAGERS .....
I think if we, parents, survive the teenage years of our kids... we live 100 years, ja ja ...
It's like an ALIEN or a DEMON gets into the body of your lovely and nice boy or girl and possesses them one other day... ja ja ja ...

One day they say :"I love you", and kiss you and hug you....... and the next day they say : "I hate you"...and hope you die !!

This is what I do:

Every time my son is "possessed" , I take a deep breath..... think he's acting completely hormonal... , this is a temporary stage..... and control myself to not say or do what in "normal" conditions he would deserve....!!

Also in those moments when he is in a "good-boy" stage, I force myself to get close to him (when he is not "possessed" and loves me) and give him strong quality time to reinforce and balance the bad times..

I found advice in some web pages... they helped me to learn self control ....and understand what he 's going through... without destroying our future relationship mother-son...

Hope you "survive" your teenager' years and live 100 years ! ja ja ja

XOXO

Answer 10

God be with you!!! lots of prayer & a positive network of friends helped me!