for those of you with school aged children, which school woudl you choose?

Question

I have a son who is special needs, he has been attenting a special school for 2 years, and now a the end of the year when i went to enroll him in kindergarten they noticed that his birthday is past the cut off date, which means that he can not go to kindergarten at a public school. I contacted the district and all but they all say that it was a human error and that i can just leave my son at home for a year or put him in another preschool for yet another year.

So since i am not going to make him go back to pre school i looked for a private school that will take him in kindergarten, well i found 2 schools that will take him at his age, they both tested him and determined that he is in fact ready for kindergarten. Now the problem that i am having is that one is too laid back to a certain extent and the other is just how i like it but they spank the kids. They are both Christian schools and are equally in distance.
which one should i pick? the one that spanks? or the playing one?

My son is autistic and has SI, the best match for him woud be teh one that spanks, there is no waiver, it is a policy, the other school is more for very immature kids that have gone to like play groups and not an actual pre school. I dunno how he will do in school all day every day. The Aurora Public Schools here in Colorado require the kids to go to preschool and kindergarten before 1st grade and the kids need to be a certain age by october 1st each year up until 2nd grade. I was unaware of this until it was time to go to kindergaten. Montessori here in colorado only go until pre school. I am actually talking about Meadowood Chritian School and Cedarwood Christian Academy.

I do not spank any of my kids, i am a firm beliver that talking or time outs will do the trick.

I was told by Colorado State Department of education, that private schools have their own very uniques "social norms" so anything that anyone is willing to pay for such as spanking then they can and will do. I contacted the school yet again i was told that they are not going to change their policy of over 30 years, that i as a consumer can just choose another school. Spanking is the best solution to a child's defiant behavior and they reffered me to read the bible on Proverbs 23:13

Answer 1

ok, let's be realistic. the thing i would be concerned about is the fact that autistic children can be "difficult" sometimes. is this school's spanking policy a way to help teachers that don't know how to deal with autistic children? before making a decision, i would research more schools. i mean, you have a few months. i would hate to see you put your son in a school where the teachers don't know how to deal with special needs children other than spanking them. i don't feel it is a question of whether or not your son is well behaved but a question of the teachers' qualifications. my son is border-line special needs due to a brain injury and believe me, spanking him does not work! i would not put him in a school where spanking has been an archaic policy for 30 years. he is not a "bad" kid but his brain injury makes him very impulsive. i would advise you to do a bit more research into schools in your area. if you come up with nothing more, what would be the harm in keeping him home for a year (and working with him yourself) or putting him in the school that is more relaxed? he's just a baby really and has plenty of school years ahead of him! whatever you decide to do, good luck!

Answer 2

First of all , what are your sons special needs? You need to look at this and then determine which if either of the private schools will be able to meet his special needs. If they are not then he will suffer in the short and long run.
Secondly , there is a reason there is a cut off age for kindergarten.Just because a child is 5 doesn't always mean they are ready for kindergarten. Neither does being able to pass the pre kindergarten tests. There is also the social aspect to look at and the question , can your child sit in a class room all day and behave all day . That can be hard for a lot of children (especially boys) which again brings us back to the special needs question. Do his special needs affect his ability to do this? The truth is most boys do better in school when they are kept out of kindergarten until age 6. He may do better if he has one more year of preschool under his belt ..... besides what is the rush?

Answer 3

Since your son is autistic you are in a very tough situation. On the one hand he is likely not to respond well to physical discipline but on the other hand he is likely not to respond well to kids who are out of control in a lax environment.

You know your child the best. I'd say that he is not going to miss much by not having a more challengine kindergarden so if he is capable of dealing with the kids in his class the non-spanking school would probably be best.

If however he is likely to really have a problem with the kids in that environment, then I'd try to re-assess what the likely-hood is that your child would be spanked. Do they spank only for discipline related issues? Do they give chances first? How is the spanking carried out?

Personally if you are willing to shell out the money for a private school I think the best thing would be to hire a private tutor. Then you can educate them on the intricacies of autism and get an effective tutor for your kid if you are concerned about kindergarden. Fill out the paperwork to be "homeschooling" your child for kindergarden so that it is on record that your son did have a kindergarden year. Though I don't understand why they can't take your son this year that seems rather like they are giving you the run-around.

If you do choose to have a private tutor for him I would definitely recommend getting him into small social gathering with kids his age to help him foster those social connections

Answer 4

First things first... If there's a shool out there spanking children, they're breaking the law. I have a brother with special needs, and hell hath no fury if a teacher or someone other than our parents were to touch him in any other way but a thoughtful hug. Where you are located, is there access to a Montisory school? There are 2 or 3 here where i'm located, and they place you at a level and pace as to your schooling and intelligence. There's an assumption formed from society that a child with special needs is less intelligent. In fact, they're much more intelligent than they're given credit. Maybe a laid back school is what your son needs. Laid back doesn't necessarilly mean lazy, but rather patient. Schools and teachers need to be patient with children of special needs.

Answer 5

Why can't he just spend one more year where he was? I don't understand that. I agree that the minimum age for Kindergarten can seem unfair but they have it in place for a reason. Did you already prepare him for K next year? If that is the problem then I think you needed to do you research before talking to him about it. Keep him in pre-K for one more year. He'll be disappointed but it will be worth it.
As far as the school that spanks goes - I do not spank my kids and even if I did there would be no way I would ever allow another person besides me or my husband to touch them like that - no way, absolutely not.

Answer 6

do u spank? I probably would'nt like the idea of other people spanking my kids. My sons birthday is 1 week too late to start kindergarten, so he went to preschoolHeadstart, and he is so ready now for school. I think I would put him in the more laid back school( i mean, he's only 4 or 5, he doesnt need strict structure right now anyway).

Answer 7

If you dont spank your children then no one else should either.. I would enroll him in the school that you think is best and when you enroll him bring a letter that states that you do not want him getting a spanking and that if he acts up to call you... That way you are clear on this and everyone knows where you stand... That is what I do with my kids....

Answer 8

I'd say the laid back one.

Unless you can tell the other one NOT to discipline your child by spanking. I haven't heard of this practice since my parents were in school!! (I'm 32)
I wouldn't EVER let a teacher spank my child. My daughter goes to a public school, and when the lunch lady raised her voice to my daughter for forgetting her lunch money, I called the principal and complained!!! They do time-outs or send the child to the principal's office as discipline.

Answer 9

I have a multi handicapped special need son,i would NEVER choose a school that spanks! we dont do it at home,it is not happening at school!!!!!! also,why spank a child for having a disability? work with him at home,enroll him as a home schooled child,anything but the spanking school,isnt that against the law? robin

Answer 10

diffinitley the one who spanks...especially since it is Christian...any child who gets the chance for a Christian private school is diffinitley lucky...i went to a baptist private school up until i was in high scholl and they spanked there as well..."if you spare the rod,you spoil the child" and to this day i believe in that...i spank my children on an as needed basis...and it does not teach them that hitting is ok...thats just a bunch of pscho babble!
but i would diffinitely go with the one that swats because it works well with discipline...and they probably dont spank the younger kids that much unless it was truely needed...most schools dont do that until they are in 1st and up...but if i was you i would send him to the Christian school that spanks!