Okay My Boyfriend that I have been dating for almost ten months just said that he loves me, and well just so you understand where I’m coming from let me tell you I have been I a few abusive relationships. And I’ve never made this particular boyfriend mad or anything, so I don’t know how he’d react if he did get really mad at me. So I’m scared. As the saying goes once burned twice shy. I’m afraid to tell him I love him even though I do, because of my past boyfriends. What do you think? Should tell him or not? I do love him, but as I’ve said I have had a few bad relationships. I told one other man I loved him we almost got married and then the beatings started soon after that. Guess he figured that since I loved him he could do as he pleased. He almost killed me, probably would have too that time if the neighbors had not have heard me and called for help. Am I being stupid? Or do you think my fears are normal? I mean normal for what I’ve gone through?
2006-06-22 15:00:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you love him then tell him. After 10 months hes just saying it then it means he really should know you and loves you for who you are. Honestly I think you should go for it with him, and if he isnt like the other guys give him a chance. Good luck
2006-06-22 15:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by what rymes with sprite? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like u should consider some counseling for yourself. There are some things inside of you that need some attention. This relationship is nothing like the last. This is a new person and new experiences. Every man does Not put his hands on women. There are plenty that don't hit. You can't blame all of them for what the last man did. You said you have been in a few "bad" relationships...so what is it that makes you chose to be with losers?? Why are you falling for the traps? The only way to find out is to look within yourself. Sometimes we need a shrink...theres nothing wrong with having someone to talk to. No matter what you decide to do don't ever let a man put his hands on you. After the first time u need to leave. We are women...and we DO matter no matter what some sorry man says. They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a woman. Be strong! You deserve nothing but love, support and understanding. Don't let them get away with it...please have them put under the jail. We don't want them either so put him where he should be.
Open your heart ....Good luck to you.
2006-06-22 22:17:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had very bad relationships that left me not trusting anyone at all, And I finally met someone who is a great man and is totally different from what I am use to. Basically if you are still dwelling on the past why are you involved with this guy? I am sorry that you went through so much pain it hurts but you have to let go and ask God to give you strength so it can help you heal past wounds, You can't move forward until you let go of the past it sounds hard but you can do it, If you aren't ready to let go of the past and you have a great man maybe you need to just be friends it's not fair to him or you. Just pray on it and I hope that everything works for you.
2006-06-22 22:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by Neek-Neek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fears are very normal. But tell him. Just don't put up with any garbage. And never Waite to long to leave him if you have to.
Just hope for the best. You control your future by the choices you make. So dont let anything put you down by words or actions. Take care.
2006-06-22 22:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by Twilight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guees you are going to live your life solo. if you kep thinking you are not going to say i love you for fear he will beat you then you will grow an old maid aone. dont let other relationships interfer with your current relationship. trust me i know about being abused and being in a new relationship, i had flash backs while having sex, i had bad dreams and waking up screaming think he was hurting me. i would wake up scared and my hubby would try to hold me and i would not let him. i grew to get over it and realized that my hubby would not hurt me or abuse me like the others. he never has hit me and knew everything that went on in my past relationships. he loves me and ten years later here we are still married still never hit me. dont let a few bad apples ruin your apple pie.good luck.
2006-06-22 22:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable where you are coming from. If a person really loves you, they wouldn't beat on you. Follow your heart. I am sure that your relationship has not been perfect and had a little bit of tension in it. Give it a chance - give yourself a chance.
2006-06-22 22:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to be scared, but tell him. If he starts abusing you, leave IMMEDIATELY. You could say you're going to a friend's house or something. When you're safe, call a hotline or report domestic abuse. I know it's hard, but you are more important than any man that hits you.
2006-06-22 22:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by I'm awesome! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you love him but also explain to him that the past relationships you've been in were very painful and you don't want to have to deal with that again. make it plain and clear to him what you've gone through. but let me say that if later on in life he do decides to put his hands on you, pull your hair back in a ponytail, grab a bat and knock a couple of home runs outta his ***.
2006-06-22 22:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by jordy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ye aits normal girl you better learn how to start picking up a knife or baseball bat . Really I know how you fell, tell him you love him and see what happens from there. If it get bad and the beaten starts wipe his ***.some days you will get tired of getting beat up i know i did.
2006-06-22 22:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by ms.hershey06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you explained to him your past situations? If so, and if he truly loves you, he'll be patient with you until you feel comfortable returning "the love". However, you might want to also try and put the same faith in him that he's putting into you. Best wishes.
2006-06-22 22:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by jimbob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋