I am tired of a friend being what I call a "Selfish Gift Giver"??

Question

One of my friends is a natural born speed reader, who can finish a 300 page book in less then an hour. My reading speed is slower then average, and I get very tired after having finished 20 pages of a book.

Every birthday and Christmas this "friend" always gives me a brand new book that he took the liberty of reading before he wrapped it. Not only do I think this is tacky, but also very selfish on his part, because he got the benefit of the "gift" and then dumped it off on me. I have told him many times that my reading speed is nowhere near his, have hinted for other gifts, and even had my wife one time tell him what to get me to try to break him of this habit, but he refuses to get the message.

My birthday is next week, and I am seriously thinking of not accepting the book I know he is going to try to dump off on me. I hate to hurt his feelings, but I don't appreciate his "selfish" gift giving. Would this be inappropriate on my part?

Answer 1

It is not your responsibility to store his stuff for him now that he's used them up. Tell him as nicely as possible how it has annoyed you somewhat but you didn't want to say anything, but for him to please stop doing it, and if he gets offended... not your probs! :)

lol... you might even try pulling the same trip with something that you enjoy but he doesn't, just as a gentle example of how it feels.

Answer 2

it's nice of him to give you a gift at all.
he may love reading so much that he can't imagine anyone not appreciating a book. or, he may be using your birthday to get more reading material.
is he a good friend besides his reading habits? if so, why ruin a good relationship over something that may be a little tacky.
but, if he can read so darn fast, why shouldn't he skim through the book? when i was little i always remember starring at the box that held whatever it was i was giving my friend. it wasn't any less sincere, but i would learn everything i could about it. partly because i wanted it and partly because i wanted my friend to be happy about it so i had to be sure it was cool. maybe your friend is doing the same thing?

Answer 3

Do you enjoy the books you have received? Does he spill coffee on them and still give them? Dog ear the pages? What are they abused in any way?
well gee maybe your friend should just look for a more grateful friend. A friend IS THE GIFT the book is just a perk. Get a grip it's not like he's giving you a jock strap and used it.

Answer 4

Sometimes you have to be rude to get the message across. YOU have to tell him flat out how you feel about this. If it comes from someone else, he won't necessarily believe them or get the message. If he is really a good friend, he'll understand. Usually if I find a book I like and want someone to read, I'll just purchase a new copy and give it to them as I want to keep my own copy.

Answer 5

I like to pass along books that I've liked, especially if I think one of my friends would like it. But I wouldn't wrap it up and give it as a gift! Next time he gives you a book, ask for the gift receipt!

Answer 6

Well personaly I don't think there is anything worng with reading a book before it's given but if you dont want them its a different story. I wouldn't accept the gift either b/c it is cheap.

Answer 7

If your friend is truly as selfish as you say, he probably won't get why this bothers you. I'd say accept the gift graciously, then do with the book whatever you wish.

Answer 8

I totally agree with the first answer. You need to be completely clear with your friend that he can get you anything BUT a book.

Answer 9

Go ell!
I couldn't have said it better.