what should a 13 year old be interested in my step daughter plays with baby toys and dogs and has no friends?

Question

when she is with her dad and me she hangs with us and her dad lets her stay up late someitme untill 1 am then she sleeps untill 12:30 pm interups and never says please,thankyou, and mopes around

Answer 1

dad never had a be time for her? should be 9pm.
let her outside and play with neighbor kids.
go to grandparents house.
dad never told her that those words: please.thank you, or excuse are for polite children
dad needs to be a PARENT!!!!! AND NOT HER FRIEND
her parents never taught her anything else.
time to get dad to get her interested in something she likes,
take her to the local ymca, and meet friends there.

they usually are interested in talking to the friends. play video games, or sports.
my 16yr loves video games,

Answer 2

She sounds a little immature, lonely, and somewhat typical.
How often is she with her dad and you? If it isn't often she just might want to spend the time she has with her dad. Do you live in the same neighborhood? It is really hard to make friends if you are only there on the weekends or a couple of weeks in the summer.

Dad lets her stay up because he wants her to like coming to your home. Of course she sleeps until 12:30. That isn't that unusual.

The rest sounds typical of a 13 year old and one that is from a divorced family. Thirteen year olds are rude, and they often mope around. If she is staying with you she probably can't do anything with her friends. Does she have friends at home or school? Dad should find out. Maybe she needs some counseling to deal with a new family.

If the manners thing is a big issue for you, ask her dad to intervene. Don't you do it! If you ever want a good relationship with her you need to insist that her dad is the one to handle those things since she doesn't live with you full time. He isn't going to want to because the wants her to keep visiting and he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He probably feels a lot of guilt for "breaking up the family".

Answer 3

I feel as though in today's world this is not right....But ask yourself this..when you were her age what did you do? She is turning into a young lady at a fast rate. She knows that she is still a child and all but she also has so much going on with her body and mind. She just wants to be what she is so familiar with....herself! I think she is fine.

Not having friends....That is just because in today's times 13 yr old girls are all about boys and clothes. Maybe she is not ready for all that....Therefore she can not relate to the other girls. You and your honey should be thankful that she is not out there trying to do like others her age. She will grow up on her own time.
Let the flower take its time to bloom and the bloom will be the most wonderful site!

And the manners....Make her use them...I would say she knows her manners...just doesn't think she needs to use them with you. Don't give her things unless she says thank you and please. And when she goes to interrupt...tell her that she is being rude and to please remember her manners. Finish your conversation but don't forget she had something to say!

Good luck!

Answer 4

Hmm, when I was 13 I was mostly obsessed with video games (primarily because all the boys were jerks, I think :P). I also liked playing board games with my family, but we didn't end up doing that very often. And Legos were fun, but heck my mom's almost 50 and still plays with Legos. :P

If she doesn't have any friends, it could be that she's getting treated like crap at school (especially if they know she isn't interested in the same stuff they're interested in). Maybe she actually thinks the other kids don't deserve her attention if they aren't capable of understanding her or even trying to. That's how I felt at that age anyway.

Answer 5

I can relate completely. My 13 yr. old is driving me crazy. She is lazy and lacks motivation. Everyone tells me this is a typical phase for this age, but I don't remember being like that. Mine does not want to get up in the mornings either, but I make her be at the breakfast table by 9:00am or she gets extra chores and/or does not get to go swimming. She also thinks she's smarter that adults, and I have to call her on her attitude often. All I know to say is hang in there, be strong with your discipline, and work every day on teaching her manners and respect. She sounds like she needs to be a part of something that would include kids her age...might think on that. Good luck.

Answer 6

Oh man, it sounds like you maybe need some more structure for her, she cannot do it herself she's just a child. Concerning the interests and friend issues, maybe she just has not been in the right environment for growth in these areas of her life. Playing with dogs however, has been shown to help some children develop certain sympathetic skills and learn to get along with others. If you suspect mental illness like depression(who wasn't depressed somewhat at 13?) then having dogs around giving unconditional love may be a big help. Good luck:)

Answer 7

Honey find this child a hobby and quick. I have a 13 year old and if she dont go to bed until 1 am she still has to get up right along with the rest of us. As far as being disrespectful some one needs to get a handle on this child and fast. My daughter would never disrespect any one because she knows the consenquences behind her actions. You can say I am an old school MOM (one of a kind) but I have terrific and delightfull children...

Answer 8

She sounds depressed and lonely. Being the adult you need to let her know you are there for her. She's becoming a woman and needs guidance on how to be a woman. You need to be sensitive and understanding. She's still just a little girl who's body is changing, who's hormones are raging, who needs a mom. When you married her father you were also marrying her, she will always be a part of his life so you need to be the adult and make it work.

You cannot parent her, her father has to because all it will do is make her resent you. Speak to your husband alone and don't nag or be insulting to his daughter because you wouldn't anyone treating your kid like that. Tell him your concerns and have him correct her when she is being impolite. She needs to go to be at a certain time, she needs rules and he has to be the one to do it.

I would also have her get some counseling, she sounds depressed but she also sounds like a typical teenager.

Good luck and be gentle with her.

Answer 9

Well... Me being 15, I think she should be interested in what she naturally likes. Eventually she'll find Friends who appreciate her for who she is and not for who everyone else is.
the please and thank you thing on the other hand needs to be worked on. Politeness is very important; especially if she wants friends. Also (this, I'm am most unsure if it will work), maybe the family should get out more.

Don't take my word for it though, cause I'm no expert; Just a kid, but I do hope this helps. :)

Answer 10

theres nothing she "should" be intrested in, some girls at that age like make-up and pop bands, some will prefer computer games or something else

if you're concerned though try and find out what shes intrested in, I'm sure theres something, try seeing if theres any clubs/lessons outside the house she can join (like art lessons, karate, maybe even a language lesson) it might be better to aim for something outside of school as she may get picked on by her classmates, but something outside school would offer her a fresh start with new people