My fiance lives in Canada, and I live in the States. We are having the problem of where to have the wedding, both ways people would have to travel, and there are older people who cant travel on both sides of our famileys. We talked about two weddings, and that seems too expencive. If we both just get hitched, and have two big parties, our famileys wont like that. Please anyone answer, who has been in this situation before.
2006-06-22 13:16:02 · 11 answers · asked by Venus 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Traditionally (like 150 years ago), the wedding was in the bride's hometown and was followed by a reception to introduce the groom into her family's social circle. Then there was a "wedding journey" -- what we call a honeymoon. After that, the couple came to live in the groom's hometown, and his parents gave a reception (or ball or tea or large dinner or whatever) to introduce the bride to their social circle. But that was a long time ago, and may not help you today.
It seems like there is NO option that is going to please everyone. So your options are (1) please the bride's family, while displeasing the groom's, (2) please the groom's family, while displeasing the bride's, or (3) displease both. I'd go with #3, so at least no one can accuse you of playing favorites.
2006-06-22 15:14:59 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is too expensive to have two full scale ,gala weddings,even for a Bill Gates-wealthy person.It's a wonderful thing,but the African cultural systems are generally still intact and that makes decisions on things of this nature virtual no-brainers. Unless under greatly extenuating circumstances (eg the bride's home has been bombed out!) ,the family of the groom in general travel to the location designated by the bride's family,usually the hometown of the bride's parents, in order to officially have them come to claim their prized new addition to the extended family, the princess of the day.
It may never be possible for everyone to attend such a family event.Whatever you do don't go and "just get hitched" ,because even you would never forgive yourself for depriving your families and your own selves of sharing with you on what is, after all said and done, a joyful and honorable occasion.The fact that anyone will need to do some traveling is considered to be a part of their own sacrifice in order to honor you on your big day, and it ought not be grudged you by any reasonable person.
Whatever the case, don't get your knickers in a twist trying to please everyone:remember the fable of the man,the boy and the donkey. Just plan your happy day and receive everyone who is able to share it with you in person with thanks to God.
Oh,and get your yourself a FABULOUS,SLAMMIN' wedding dress,you only get married once(knock wood)!CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-22 14:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are other ways to spend time with both of your families without all of them being in your wedding. Like the holidays for example, family reunions, family gatherings. It cost 2 much money and 2 much stress to have 2 weddings. Just have 1 wedding or elope. Go to Las Vegas. It is the easiest place to get married and there are no waiting periods or blood tests! You can get married the same day you get your marriage license. Invite any family and friends from your side and your fiance's side who can afford to go with you to Las Vegas. Don't worry if people resent you because they couldn't afford to be at your wedding or because they're old. Don't put up with any guilt trips. And don't try to please other people. By pleasing other people besides yourselves, you won't be happy. This is your day. And by the way, those people who resent you for not attending your wedding, will get over it eventually.
2006-06-22 13:43:49 · answer #3 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ironic. My fiancee Miss M lives in Toronto and works in an office. Go to Las Vegas and get hitched and do not stress out about everyone else, it is neurotic behavior and a waste of time. Think about your happiness first, and then let the chips fall where they may
2006-06-22 13:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there some place in the middle so that both sides compromise going half-way instead of way out there? I think either way someone is going to be upset where you decide so what might be the best is that you and your fiancee decide, it's your wedding. oh well if everyone can't make it.
2006-06-22 13:21:50 · answer #5 · answered by chariot804 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-06-22 14:38:55 · answer #6 · answered by unforgettablemauiweddings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am from NY and my husband is from Ohio. We had our wedding and reception in NY and in a few weeks we're having a reception in Ohio. (We currently live in Ohio). Not everyone could come to the wedding in NY, so that's why we're having a shower in Ohio too.
2006-06-22 14:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married at the court house and have two small ceremonies at each of the relatives locations.
2006-06-22 13:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by lori 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like the best answer for that is to meet in the middle.
and for those who cant make it to the middle then theres always photos.
its your day and should be what they want
2006-06-22 13:21:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never been in the situation...but what i would do is...find a place in the middle...so all the family is traveling equal distance...hope that helps...Congrats
2006-06-22 19:40:07 · answer #10 · answered by Trish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋