How would you feel if your child came out to you?

Question

Would you support them or not? How much did if affect your relationship? If you've been through this as well please tell.

Answer 1

i have had gay friends, and teaching high school i have many teens discuss their experiences on this. so i would have to say that my love for my child would outweigh any misgivings i would have toward their decision. i would advise them to be sure of their decision, think it through. i would be worried and sad for them for the society they would be having to live in, how hard life might be unless things change a lot very quickly in the world. but whatever, love prevails. or it should. parents need to look up things about being gay, if they need to, in order to understand their child's feelings and needs. parent's acceptance and support and ongoing love is truly important in how a gay teen turns into a well adjusted gay adult with self esteem. that is my viewpoint.

Answer 2

Our daughter came out to us almost 4 years ago and it never crossed our minds not to support her. She was our daughter whom we loved, before she came out, and she remained that way, afterwards. No changes other than she had announced her sexual preference.

Our relationship went from loving to loving and highly respectful of each other. She views us as parents that she can tell anything to and she does. We know that she has experimented with different things and she knows that we will not freak or react badly. We know that we can say anything to her that helps her to be a better person...not a different one and she will take our comments the way they are intended ... with love, not condemnation.

Parents, from the time a child can understand, drill into them that it is imporant to tell the truth. When a child states they are gay, some parents react very poorly. For some, probably their first thought is "what will people think", the second "how could you do this to us" and the third, "you aren't really gay, you're just experimenting". So much for telling the truth. In this case parents should teach children to tell the truth unless it will reflect badly on the parent.

Kids are cast off by some parents immediately, thrown out of the home they thought was theirs. We have taken in kids who have had this happen to them and we've seen first hand how devestating this can be. Yes, for some, it is a little difficult to wrap the head around at first, but if parents would believe that God doesn't make mistakes, as much as they believe they are going to go to Heaven, perhaps a lot more kids wouldn't be cast offs, they'd be in loving, supportive environments and able to be who they are...a human being first, an individual second and gay third...each of these categories should receive the same respect that everyone else expects to receive.

To sum it up, "God don't make no junk!"

Answer 3

I would feel like they were my child and would support them. I don't think it would affect my relationship at all. Really, in the end, what has changed other than you now really know how your child feels? He or she is still the same person. It took a lot of courage to come out to you, be proud you have a strong, independent child who wants to be hones with you and themself.

Answer 4

This would be very hard for me because of my personal beliefs. Do not get me wrong, I have gay friends but it is just not the same as one of your own kids. No matter what it is with my kids I support them and love them and encourage them to do what ever it is that will make them happy. My instinct would be to protect my child from getting hurt. I would not want to be the person that hurt them either. If your child came out to you then you are doing something very right with them. They feel comfortable telling you something that is very hard to tell. They trust you and your opinion. I want to encourage you to try not to look at your child differently. They are still your child. I know that this seems easier for someone that isnt going through what you are going through so I want to share a true story of something that happened to a friend of mine. He was very gay and his parents had to know he was. But they didnt. They were blind to his femine nature. He was afraid to tell his parents because they were both very religious. They thought that all gay people burned in hell. Long story shortened, he went out to a club in San Diego and never came home. He ran away and became a male prostitute. A few years passed and he was diagnosed with HIV. He died 6 years ago. His parents wouldnt even go to his funeral because they found out what he died with and how he contracted it. He died seperated from the only people in the world that should have been there. I am not saying this is going to happen with your kid but I wouldnt push them away. You never know what can happen. Be there for them and love them unconditionally. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

I'd feel bad for him/her and try to support him/her as much as possible. It's called unconditional love.....I haven't been through it but I have friends who have and they hate it, despise it, won't deal with it, etc. The relationship is going down hill in all areas and the kid is having a rough time deciding what to do with their life in all areas. No support, no guidance, no sympathy, no comfort. Just think how hard it is for someone to admit this to a parent. It takes a lot of courage... That should be worth something in return....don't you think?????

Answer 6

Happy because most kids never want to come clean out to there parents I never wanted to do it when I was a kid but my child has and I supported her 100% You should do that to your child too you don't know how stressed out they get but if you support them all the way you feel so good!

Answer 7

I would be apprehensive about it, I must admit. However, nothing would change my love for my child so I would support him. I would make it clear that I don't understand that lifestyle, but that my love is unconditional.

A similar situation happened with a distant relative...the parents were not supportive --were very mean and judgmental about it--and the child (who is now in her 30s) does not communicate with her family. It is sad.

Answer 8

I would feel blessed that my child would come to me in the first place. Then I would explain my morals and beliefs as a christian. Then I would support my child with moving on in life. I would pray for my child. Listen I will treat my child with the respect that he or she deserves but that doesn't mean that I have to condone the behavior. I will not attend or be apart of anything that will put me in a position of compromising my beliefs and whom I serve.

Answer 9

I couldn't care less what you were. Heck, you could be pink, blue,and yellow for all I care. I would still support my child and love them, and any parent who wouldn't is just wrong! They are your child NO MATTER WHAT!! I would even applaud them for having the guts and for being brave and strong enough to do something like that. I know that it has got to be a very tough decision to do. I wouldn't care at all!!

Answer 10

ofcourse, it's part of a parent's job to support their child and i think that MOST parents WOULD agree and would continue to be there supporting their child. it would be a hard thing to do since it would be a lifestyle i don't fully understand or condone however i would try very, very hard not to let it affect the mother / child relationship. good luck to you.