ok, let's call my boyfriend "Rob" and my ex "Joe" (just for fun) Rob's b-day is tomorrow, he's going to a strip club with his friends (fine with me). But I don't wanna sit at home on a Friday, so I asked my sis to go out. Well, here's the dilemma, of all of my ex's Rob is only bothered by Joe. I have no idea why. My relationship with Joe was short and meaningless. But we see eachother from time to time (it's a small town). Rob acts like he's jealous of him or something, he brings his name up a lot and teases me sometimes and tries to make it a joke. But I know it's serious. Rob has never met Joe. Just seen pictures. Anyway, my sis and Joe are friends, Joe will be where my sis and I are going tomorrow night but I know Rob has nothing to worry about. Do I tell Rob beforehand? After? (so I can still go) or not at all?
2006-06-22 12:41:17 · 16 answers · asked by chrystallec 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't lie, that's wrong. And omission of information is the same as lieing. Rob is acting jealous cause he's feeling insecure about Joe after seeing the pictures, he may feel he's not as good looking. Tell him where you are going and who will be there, but also inform him that you are not asking for his permission because you are a grown woman and don't need permission. Offer him the opportunity to meet Joe maybe that could help to quiet his fears a little.
2006-06-22 12:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by NoBoysAllowed! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and Rob are in a serious relationship, you should not go. I say this because if u go and don't tell him, someone is bound to tell him (u know word flies faster than light!) and he will feel like you lied to him and have something to hide. If u tell him and he tells you to go and he's fine with it, he will call u every 5 minutes, grill you about your night when you get home, and mostly ruin your evening and his birthday as well because he will be so worried about you he wont have fun either. But, of course, if you think your relationship is strong enough then go out have fun, but I would make sure I'd mention it to him before I went though. Wouldn't you want him to respect you enough to ask you first if it was the other way around?
2006-06-22 12:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, i believe you need to tell him beforehand. Now whether you end up going or not is your own decision based on whatever "ROB" tells you.
I believe that everything in life is found out one way or another, so if you dont tell him and he somehow finds out since (its a small town) then things will get worse and you will end up losing someone you really care about over not wanting to stay home on a friday.
2006-06-22 12:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Momo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that if there is nothing going on between you and joe there is no reason not to tell him and if your boyfriend still has a problem with it then maybe you should introduce them and sit them down and talk about it. I still hang out with one of my ex's and he is one of my closest friends and my husband doesn't have a problem with it because he knows that there is nothing going on and in fact his ex wife is my best friend. I think that if he trusts you then he shouldn't have a problem with it and he should not expect you to sit at home while he goes to a strip club because he doesn't want you to run in to your ex that is not very fair or trusting.
2006-06-22 12:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by badtinky69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that I would tell him beforehand, and that you have no control over who your sis invites. If he has a problem, then he should cancel his plans, or change them to include you. If you wait until afterwards, or worse yet, he finds out from someone else, he may not react well at all, and may possibly think that there is something else going on because you didn't tell him.
2006-06-22 12:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, it not that complicated sweety , it as complicated as you wanted it to be.
How is it a prob for Rob, that ur hanging out with Joe (and not just with him alone) whilst he is perving on strippers? you get my drift... he technically cant make a big deal out of that scenario since he is going to a strip club .
He is very insecure of Joe , and maybe that something you'll need to talk to him in person with seriousness , it not healthy for him to get that way.
Other ways you sound like a cool chik , and there is no need for you to stay home , just coz ur BF is jealous.
2006-06-22 12:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by alexi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should totally go. Maybe meantion to "Rob" that your ex may be there, but you don't know for sure, because your sister is friends with him. I think it should be fine, if anything maybe "Rob" will cut his night short to hang out with you and your friends.
2006-06-22 12:48:20 · answer #7 · answered by calicandy27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have our lives to live, Rob had a choice where to be and he cchose a strip club. You have a choice of where to go and who you are going to be with. Do what pleases you.
2006-06-22 12:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noone can stop you from going anywhere you like. Rob sounds very insecure in his relationship with you. If you are not married to someone then go where you want with whom ever you want.
2006-06-22 12:50:00 · answer #9 · answered by BUTCH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him. ask him if he has a problem with Joe. if he says no hes obviously trying to cover it up. then just tell him he has nothing to worry about.
one questions :: why is Rob not spending his birthday with U????
2006-06-22 12:49:15 · answer #10 · answered by Ethereal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋