hey i have a boyfriend of one year and he waited ro ask me out until he was 16. but now he hasnt kiss me. so i wanna know what the rules are in your religion..
2006-06-22 12:20:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
hey i have a boyfriend of one year and he waited ro ask me out until he was 16. but now he hasnt kiss me. so i wanna know what the rules are in your religion.. and we have been going out for 1 year already
2006-06-22 12:34:21 · update #1
well i would talk with his mom.. but shes crazy... i dont know his mom is just... i dont know...i dont know if id feel right talking to her about it
2006-06-22 12:38:28 · update #2
It is personal choice.
Some live in very strict families and are told not to kiss until engaged or married and others are not and it then becomes a matter of personal choice. However there is a strong emphasis put on respecting the girl. He may not be getting signals from you that you are ready to be kissed.
At the age he is, I am assuming that he has little to no experience and is not sure of what to do... you may need to nudge him along by dropping hints or just talking about it.
Edit: I forgot to include that many Mormons live very sheltered lives and the thought of kissing you may not have crossed his mind yet. -- He is probably very overwhelmed at this point with even being able to date. Most can't date until 16 and many 18
-Yes I am Mormon
2006-06-22 12:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by serveduphot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most Mormons don't live a sheltered life. I'm Mormon and have had a few girlfriends, and yes, I have done some kissing. There is no one rule for kissing. It just depends on the individual and sometimes the parents (or how seriously the individual takes his/her parents.)
2006-06-22 19:32:46 · answer #2 · answered by toiletbowl.martini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
President Spencer W. Kimball taught:
'Kissing has been prostituted and has degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness? What is miscalled the "soul kiss" is an abomination and stirs passions to the eventual loss of virtue. Even if timely courtship justifies the kiss it should be a clean, decent, sexless one like the kiss between mother and son, or father and daughter.
If the "soul kiss" with its passion were eliminated from dating there would be an immediate upswing in chastity and honor, with fewer illegitimate babies, fewer unwed mothers, fewer forced marriages, fewer unhappy people.
With the absence of the "soul kiss" necking would be greatly reduced. The younger sister of petting, it should be totally eliminated. Both are abominations in their own right."
"Immorality does not begin in adultery or perversion. It begins with little indiscretions like sex thoughts, sex discussions, passionate kissing, petting, and such, growing with every exercise. The small indiscretion seems powerless compared to the sturdy body, the strong mind, the sweet spirit of youth who give way to the first temptation. But soon the strong has become weak, the master the slave, spiritual growth curtailed. But if the first unrighteous act is never given root, the tree will grow to beautiful maturity and the youthful life will grow toward God, our Father. (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p.281)
Elder Richard G. Scott taught:
"When you are mature enough to plan seriously for marriage, keep your expressions of feelings to those that are comfortable in the presence of your parents." (See Making Right Choices, emphasis added)
Elder Legrand Richards taught
"[When I was a boy, one of our brethren out in the ward] told us that we hadn't ought to be kissing girls until we were sure we were going to marry them. Then he used this little illustration. He said, "Which one of you boys would like to eat a sandwich where your boy friend had licked all the butter off?" That made such an impression upon me as a boy that I decided that no boy friend of mine would ever accuse me of licking the butter off his sandwich and I kept my promise. ( BYU Speeches, October 3, 1962, p.11)
In summary, passionate kissing is a sin before marriage. If you are doing anything with someone that you would not also feel comfortable doing with your brother or sister while in the presence of your parents, then you are going too far and need to repent.
2006-06-22 19:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by notoriousnicholas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can kiss you when he wants. There's no rule about when it's ok to kiss. :)
Maybe he's shy about it. Why don't you kiss him? Or maybe he thinks so much of you that he doesn't want to rush things. Or maybe he wants everything to be perfect. Or . . . I could guess all day. I'd say either ask him, or kiss him.
As Mormons we are counselled by the prophet that dating is something that can wait until we are 16. Because we do not believe in premarital sex, this makes alot of sense. Kids want to date, they want to kiss, that leads to other stuff that leads to sex. It is something we think is so special it should be reserved for marriage. We also don't believe that other sexual activity (petting, masturbation, things like that) is appropriate outside of marriage, simply because that is all part of the sex act, and it gets our thoughts out of control. We try to control those thoughts, so we can save ourselves for marriage.
So that's about it. It isn't a rule. It is counsel, given to help us to be happier. Nobody was ever unhappy about saving themselves for their one true love, were they? Nobody was ever unhappy because they stayed true to themselves and their beliefs, right?
No rule on kissing, but it should stop there. Maybe that's why your boyfriend has been hesitant. Maybe you drive him absolutely crazy because you are so adorable, and he is struggling to stay true to his beliefs regarding premarital sex as well. This could be an awkward thing for him to discuss with you, so maybe this is why he hasn't talked to you about it. You could ask, him.
Better yet, if you have been with him that long, you should be friends with his family. You could ask his mom what she thinks. She would probably love you for coming to her for advice, and respecting their beliefs. In fact, the more I think of it, the more I think that's a great idea (I'm a mom, myself). Try taking his mom aside and telling her you really want to respect their religious beliefs, and you're curious about his ideas about kissing. This would automatically make you daughter-in-law material, in my book!
Edited to add: I just had to say that in today's world, a guy who respects you enough not to want to drag you into bed is a guy worth hanging on to.
Edited again to add: Feel free to email me for more conversation on this. I'm happy to visit with you about it.
2006-06-22 19:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats fishy...he wanted to wait until you were 16....if your dating someone way older then you i'd recommend you wake up and steer clear. Mormons are nuts as it is.
2006-06-22 19:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone knows me to be a strict LDS gentleman, I love to kiss my gf, we just need to be careful it doesn't lead to something else that could get us both in trouble.
2006-06-22 19:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by princezelph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not with tongue and only last for 1-2 second.
2006-06-22 19:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by Nutty Prof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you jerk! Who you calling a 'moron'?
Oh...damn..where are my glasses? Oh...um, sorry man. It was my mistake.
I'm sorry but I don't have an answer for your question either. I'll..uh...just close the door on the way out..okay?
2006-06-22 19:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All's cool just so long as he doesn't kiss you on the ... snatch.
;)
2006-06-22 20:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by Zabela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
none? wats a mormons?
wat? im confused
2006-06-22 19:22:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋