2006-06-22 10:36:55 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the **** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
2006-06-22 10:54:02 · answer #1 · answered by azrael226 3 · 8⤊ 6⤋
There's a monkey in a tree smokin a bowl , a lizard climbs up says what ya doin,monkey says smokin a bowl want ahit, sure says the monkey. sits there for a while and then says i gotta go to the lake and get a drink i got dry mouth, while at the lake an alligator comes out of the water and says what ya doin,lizard says smokin a bowl in the tree w/ the monkey you ought to go get a hit , so he climbs the tree and the monkey days damn how much water did you drink!
2006-06-22 17:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by wes1965tindle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Air Canada plane took off from Torbay Airport in St. John's.
After it reached its cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the intercom:
"Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop
from St. John's to Toronto. The weather ahead is good and we
should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and
relax . . . . OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed.
After a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "I'm sorry if I scared you
earlier. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally
spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front
of my pants!"
A Newfoundlander passenger yelled, "That's nothing guy.
You should see the back of mine!"
2006-06-22 17:40:41 · answer #3 · answered by Chino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 boy scouts when it hit an iceberg and started to sink.
The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "F*ck the children!"
Michael looked around eagerly and asked, "Do we have time?"
baby seal walks into a club...
or just read anything by Jack Handy/Handey
2006-06-22 17:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A priest, a mime, and George Bush walk into a bar and the bar tender says what is this, some kind of joke.
2006-06-22 17:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by tooqerq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The Laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."
2006-06-22 17:45:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know you have a family of Flamingos living next to you?
~They have little plastic Mexicans in their front yard
What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?
~"Hey! Get off me homes!"
2006-06-22 18:06:04 · answer #7 · answered by texastreasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y did the chicken cross the road???
its stupid i dont know y this joke was ever made up but the answer is 2 get 2 the other side but there r many diff endings
2006-06-22 17:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by Whats Poppin?? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The receptionist goes into the Doctors office and says,"Doctor there is an invisible man in the waiting room. " The Doctor replies," Tell him I can't see him now."
2006-06-22 17:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by loufedalis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is the most poupular man at the nudest colony ???
the one who can carry 2 cups of coffe and a dozen donuts
who is the most poupular woman at that same colony ???
the one who can eat the last donut
ha ha ha ha thought this one was really cute enjoy
2006-06-22 18:08:39 · answer #10 · answered by dyrokee_moon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q-What do you call a white girl with one leg shorter than the other?
A- Ilene
Q- What do you call an asian girl with one leg shorter than the other?
A- Irene
Q- What do you call a hispanic girl with one leg short that the other?
A- Not even, eh!
2006-06-22 17:53:02 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs. Mojo Jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋