Got a good one about a Duck!!!?

Question

This guy walks into a shrink's office with a duck on his head.

The shrink said, "Can I help you?"

The duck says, "Yeah, get this guy off my ***!"

Answer 1

hahaha...not really...

Answer 2

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for corn. The bartender says "We don't have any corn, get out of here." So the duck leaves. The next day he comes back and asks for corn again, and the bartender says "I told you, we don't have any corn! Get out!" So the duck leaves. The next day he goes in again and asks for corn, and the bartender says, "For the last time, we don't have corn! If you ever come back, I'm going to nail those webbed feet of yours to the floor!" So the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No, of course not. Why would a bar have nails?" The duck then says, "Good. Then can I have some corn?"

Answer 3

three sons have to go out and sell their pet ducks to make money for their suffering family. The 1st kid goes out and sells his duck without any problem. the 2nd then goes out and sells his within the hour. The 3rd kid goes and can't find anyone to buy his duck, when he comes across a woman he tell's her he'll give her the duck for a fu*k. the woman agrees, when the kid is finished he realizes he didn't get any money and his dad would be pissed. so he tells the lady he would give her a fu*k for the duck. she agrees and the kid walks off with his duck. it starts getting late so the kid heads home with no money. when he's getting ready to cross the street the duck jumps out of his arms and gets run over. the kid starts crying and the many pays him 50 dollars when he gets home his dad ask's him what he got for his duck. The son replies " I got a fu*k for a duck, a duck for a fu*k, and fifty bucks for a fu*ked up duck"

Answer 4

A duck walks up to a cosmetic counter and asks for a lipstick. The clerks asks if it is cash or charge, the Duck says..."just put it on my bill."

Answer 5

"Yeah, get this guy off my show. He hasn't said the secret word yet."

Explanation: On the old Groucho Marx show (50's), if you said the secret word a duck (fake) would come down with a sign and you would win a prize amount.

Alternate: "Yeah, get this guy off my case. He dragged me in here because he said one quack would want to meet another quack."

Answer 6

okay...here is another duck joke.....

3 people....you, joe, and sally....die and go up to heaven. St. Peter greets u ppl but says to have a happy life up in heaven but one thing u can't do is step on a duck....u thought that that was simple being that there are no ducks in heaven....u were wrong!!! There are ducks everywhere that it is hard not to step on one...

Okay....it has been a day and joe gets bored and kicks a duck....all of a sudden, St Peter comes down and ties joe to a horrible monster for all eterity....

About a week later, sally drops her food and kicks a duck because she was angry.....st peter comes down and ties sally to a horrible monster for all eterity...

U r doing pretty good....u NEVER Step on a duck.....but then one day...St. Peter comes down and ties this BEAUTIfUL, DROP DEAD GEORGOUS man/woman to u.....u ask her/him what u did to deserve this and all he/she said was....."ALL I DID WAS STEP ON A DUCK..."

lol.....

~Leah~

Answer 7

If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, and swims likea duck and quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck!
Smiles!

Answer 8

Cute

Answer 9

sum1 told me on here about a duck on a chicken farm. *shrugs*

Answer 10

Hahahahah no

Answer 11

I don't get the ***! stuff, what is that??? ha! ha!