Would you say it is honest and/or proper during maybe a not so pleasant conversation to say you need to go because of a phone call. This person has done this on several occassions. Seem like when the conversation gets a little uncomfortable, this person will do this. And what about signing off of messenger right after I sign on? Originally I dismissed this behavior. Thought that it was legitamate that there really was a call but now that it has happened so many times, It really has me wondering. Would you call this a true honest friendship between two people. Is it proper to change the subject and cut off the coversation in this manner? With me, if the conversation is getting me down I will be HONEST and say, "Hey. is it okay if we talk about something else please this conversation is bringing me down" Any ideas?
2006-06-22 09:44:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I did ask this person if it was something I said.. I will give this person time to answer back. I realize that people may have a "safetynet" for themselves in situauations like these but why compromise your integrity?
2006-06-22 09:57:23 · update #1
I understand what Marrilyn is saying but I cannot accept anything less than honesty. I will lose respect for that person.. so why bother with trying to hold on to a relationship with someone I have little respect for? I believe what ditzy is saying may be true. This person may not even realize he/she is doing it, this is his/her "saftey net" and he/she may have been doing this for so long that it has become second nature. I hope this person realizes one day that it is so much better to be honest in any realationship.
2006-06-22 10:05:09 · update #2
Sounds like Jodraven03 has hit it right on. Truth hurts. I still believe honesty is the best policy. Afraid of confrontation? You may be right. If this person knew me well enough they would have to know there would be nothing to fear except for me walking away with the upmost respect for them because they were honest!
2006-06-22 10:10:17 · update #3
Wow. I'd say go with your gut on that one. Certain subjects make certain people pull away. I think I'd just ask if it was something I said. Maybe they don't realize they do that to you a lot.
2006-06-22 09:51:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The person you are referring to is trying to end contact with you. I have done this one million and one times. The reason he/she does not come right out and say it, as another poster suggested, is to spare your feelings and avoid a confrontation.
This is, by the way, the "proper" way of ending a friendship. It would be the height of rudeness to point out to someone their perceived or real faults as the reason for no longer wanting conversation.
So, stop bugging the poor soul and go on with your life. Clearly, you are an articulate, well-meaning and bright person ... go offer someone else your company. And bear in mind, these things are never about you. It is the person who is avoiding you that has the problem ... maybe they feel uncomfortable talking about x, y or z. That is their problem and they are dealing with that by avoiding people who talk about x, y or z.
This person has done the right thing ... now you do the correct thing and take the subtle hint that he/she is offering you.
2006-06-22 16:58:51 · answer #2 · answered by jodraven03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't know how to be honest with feelings or are afraid you will react in anger. They should be more honest. Sounds like at times they are avoiding you. Ask them direct about it or just accept that is the way they handle things. No it isn't honest but it is done. It use to be "some one is at the door so i have to go". don't talk about anything of a serious nature on the phone but face to face.
2006-06-22 16:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by MARILYNN S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the phone call, and what you do, that you'd receive such a phone call. Also if it's true. Some people, as a safety net for themselves, ask someone to call them, at a certain time. But honestly is the best policy!
2006-06-22 16:50:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is kind of juvenile to go right off messenger or to repeatedly cut somebody off. This is not open, honest friendship. You should ask this person if they are mad at you for some reason or simply stay away from the topic that is distressing this person. However, if your not comfortable with this kind of treatment than perhaps you should rethink your friendship.
2006-06-22 16:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by SunnySmile83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just had to go. dont take it personal.
2006-06-22 16:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋