I can't afford for everyone who attends my wedding reception to bring a date, how can I tell some folks no.

Question

I never realized, until planning my own wedding how exspensive these events can be. It equals to about $32.00 per person, that's just food. There are already 270 people invited and the place only holds 300. I can not afford any one else. How can I tell people that can't bring a blind date, a new friend or a crying 2 year old? HELP!!!!

Answer 1

I've actually seen invitations that say, by invitation only, please no added guests or children under age, then put in the age you want to stop it at.

Answer 2

You should be clear on your invitation to name only those who are invited (ie: Miss Jane Doe or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith). Also put on your invitation something like "childcare will not be provided during the ceremony or reception" or as a friend of mine said "Children a joy to have, however this is a time for adults to gather. Enclosed is a list of babysitters." When people send in thier responses, screen them and see who is bringing a guest who was not mentioned; call them and say "I am sorry, I have limited space at the reception and only those who are closest to my fiancee and I are invited." Make sure that if you invite a person and they have a signficant other; the significant other gets invited. But a blind date/new friend/and children don't have to be invited. Be tackful and polite, but be firm. 99% of the people will know and understand if you are clear and upfront with them. Those who get bent out shape aren't worth it. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Young kids can ruin a wedding for all the guests, so just specify no children under__ (whatever your mininum age limit). As far as a single person who can't bring a date: Personally, I would NOT attend a wedding solo. All the couples are dancing and having a grand old time while the single sits there totally out of place and bored to death.I would even be willing to pay the cost of an extra dinner to bring a date along.

Answer 4

First, invite everyone by name. Phrases like "and guest" or "and family" are asking for trouble. Each invitee gets his/her very own personalized invitation in a seperate envelope. The only exception here is married couples, who may be sent a single invitation. (Gay couples and live-togethers can be counted as 'married' if you wish.)

Well before the Big Day, call all invitees and make a complete and accurate list of everyone who is attending. There should only be a 'yes list' and a 'no list'. Do not allow inconsiderate people to bully you into creating a 'maybe list'.

When you call those who did NOT do the RSVP, it is becuase their invitation was obviously lost in the mail. (None of your friends would be so thoughtless as to simply not bother responding to your kind invitation, now would they?) When you call those who DID do the RSVP, it is "to confirm" the names of every person who plans to attend.

Besides giving you an accurate head count, these calls allow you to re-assert your control of the guest list. Be prepared to say things like "Your new boyfriend sounds wonderful, and I look forward to meeting him ... but this occaision is really only for people we know" and "I'm so sorry, but we're not having children."

If someone tries to clobber you with "If I can't bring my (whatever), then I can't come either" your response is "I hope you'll change your mind. If you do, just let me know by July 17th."

Answer 5

definite, i'd bypass. some religions have closed ceremonies, from what I remember, that are in simple terms for family individuals. and that is how eastern weddings bypass - the particular rite is for instantaneous family individuals and in all likelihood significant human beings to the family individuals, and is a small accumulating. Then the reception is massive (frequently thousands of human beings). some human beings do a small JP or civil rite, and carry a reception later. there are a number of causes for the rite to be small and intimate. i imagine it should be far ruder any incorrect way round (invited to the rite yet no longer to the reception). a minimum of on the reception you often have food, drink, leisure/dancing, and also you've were given time to visit and mind-set the bride/groom and family individuals. even if in case you experience that strongly about it, per chance it maximum proper to decline the invitation?

Answer 6

Unless things have changed since I got married (almost 34 years ago), the inside envelope of the invitation is to include only the name so those invited. For example, on the mailed envelope, it might say Mr & Mrs. ...the inside would say: Mr. & Mrs (NO children's names, if they are not invited). For a friend, Ms. on the outside, inside only her name: Beth. Normally, an invite for a friend and guest would say inside: Beth and guest. However, if you suspect that your family and friends are not etiquette saavy, put in polite terms that extra guests and children are not invited.

Please be aware that many you invite, will not come if they must come alone (single people don't like to come alone) and many parents of young children will also not come. That will also help to pare down the size of your expected guest response.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

Answer 7

One thing you could do is say to the people, "I would love for you to be able to bring a date, but I really cannot afford all those plates. If you really wish to bring a date, would you be willing to fork over the $32.00 for their meal?" If they are, then it's all good. If they aren't then they obviously don't care too very much about that person.

Answer 8

First of all, I completely understand, it happened to my best friend, What you must do is tell them that it is entirely too expensive for so many people to go to your wedding, even though you would love for them to be there. If they insist on bringing someone, ask them to pay for them to go. Im sure that they will intially understand, besides, will a 2 year old or a blind date really care that they missed the wedding, its not like they will remember it anyway.

Answer 9

For no children, on the envelope specifically address it to "Adam & Eve" (if children are invited, it would say "Adam & Eve & family"); for no dates, adress the envelope to the single person & do not include "& guest". That's standard ettiquette.

Tell a few talkers in your family & friend circle that there are no kids & no guests. It will get around.

If someone RSVPs for the family or with a guest, call them up and say, "I just got your RSVP. I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but only you (& the spouse) are invited." Explain the financial contraints, and they should understand.

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Answer 10

My friends had the same problem and when she wrote to people she didnt want to bring a day it was addy'd to that person only. The only people allowed to bring a day were friends/cousins that have a significant other that have been together a long time or they are close to. Other friends have done the same thing. No kids were allowed except the ringbearer and the flower girl.

Answer 11

I invited some of my guest just to the party after the meal.. it worked out great and mean't i could spend more time with them as I had already visited with the guests from the meal part of the day..
Good luck I know it is hard..