Why is so hard for a man to marry a woman but very easy to play house and move in together?

Question

Is marriage that hard of a commitment, or is it better to play it safe by living together?

Answer 1

Its commitment. Honestly the easier it is to get out of the more appealing it is. Like any "contract". Some men/women would rather have the status. Think of gym memberships...if it takes an arm and a leg to get out of wouldnt most people just go month to month? You get the same benefits, but without the chance of being held down. I am not saying I think this is right. The problem is with trying to actually build a relationship and eventually with children. Neither will be strong without a commitment.

Answer 2

I don't think its that hard of a commitment some people just don't want to be married for one reason or another. Some are already divorced and just want a companion or others just don't want to be a statistic like the rest of the failed marriage's in the world.

Living together gives both parties the insight to each others quirks and eccentricities. And also makes you more aware of who you will be spending your life with. And if you can live with someone and get along rather well then they should venture in to marriage. But only if its agreed upon by both parties ((none of these trick marriages for money or what not ))

I think its a personal choice.
But who wants to get a divorce and fight over the fish ??

Answer 3

Exactly what arewethereyet said!! Some men figure they can have a woman there for all his needs but, technically, he is still single! And, sometimes, it is the women who don't want the commitment. If both people are ok with it then I see nothing wrong with living together and not getting married. Of course, I am on marriage #2 so I have a little different outlook maybe!?

Answer 4

if he filed already you just have a certain amount of days to respond and then if you fail to he gets the divorce by default. my ex husband didn't always look happy when he wanted the divorce, he even got thinner than he was. i certainly thought i could change his mind, that is until i learned he had another woman. he certainly didn't act happy when he would come over to the house and discuss divorce. I too did not feel we had that severe of problems with the marriage to divorce either. I also did not want the divorce. for one its usually something you never see coming, but most always its another woman who is pulling at his heartstrings, convincing him she is the better choice. a man usually doesn't walk out on an existing marriage unless there is someone else in the picture. you should read the divorce papers, respond on what you want, like child support, maybe temporary spousal support. Its not something you can put off because usually in most states you have only 30 days to respond. I loved y husband too we had been married 10 years, but when a man isn't in love with you and wants a divorce you divorce him. I would carefully read the paperwork, even get an attorney too, because anything could be in those papers he could even be asking for custody, or shared parenting so he doesn't have to pay support. the thing is he already made this decision a long time ago, and has a head start with his pain. he probably isn't suffering now like you are. when a man wants rid of you and you still want him, he will hurt you emotionally, attack everything about you, make up all kinds of irrational excuses, and its because he wants out of the marriage and figures the nastier he is the easier it will be for him.

Answer 5

Marriage is a commitment to be together for forever. Some people like to take their time making that commitment so that they are truly sure. For some people this includes living together first. I don't see anything wrong with this. I lived with my boyfriend before we married and I have no regrets.

Divorce rates are higher for religious people than nonreligious.

Answer 6

What's playing it safe? Whether you have a ring on your finger or not, you still get hurt.

There is an old saying; "Why pay for the milk when you get the cow for free". Get it? Why should he marry you if you put out and take care of him like a wife without being married?

This is just one reason why it is NOT a good idea at all to live together.

Answer 7

Great question !!!

Let me tell you a story.
(Bear with me it takes a minute to get to the point. ;-)

My two brothers and I flew to another city for, as it happens, a wedding. My brothers landed an hour before me and they rented the car. Naturally they could not add me as a driver, so when I arrived we went to the counter to add me. Only problem was that now the line had 20 people in it.

Reluctantly, I left the rental counter area without being added as a driver for the car.

Here's the moral of the story. I was not planning on doing anything at all without my brothers. In fact ,we're very close, and would all be traveling together to and from each event.

If I was added as a driver, there's a decent chance I'd never drive anyway. But I wanted to be added because I didn't want to feel trapped at the hotel, the reception, whatever - I wanted to have the option of driving off "right now."

Even though I had no plans of driving off by myself, I wanted the option.

Funny thing, my brothers understood my desire to be added as a driver, and they were even willing to wait at the rental counter, but I was not.

Moral of the story: I like to have an option, even if I think I'm not going to use it.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Most men are scared of commitments. Marrying someone is more binding than just living with some one. If a man gets married he would have the fear of breaking his wedding vows but if he is just playing house then if he slips up then "technically" he is still single.

Answer 9

Marriage is a legal binding commitment. Before I got married my husband and I lived together. I think it was the best idea for us too. We learned our little quirks and made sure that we could live with each other before we made one of the biggest commitments of our lives.

Answer 10

I think guys just don't want a commited relationship right away. But if that is all a guy wants is to live together than dump him.

Answer 11

all about money , if they took away the fact that the man is responsible for taking care of the woman regardless if they split up or not then there would be a lot more men not scared to get married . you may not be one of them but there are some ruthless women out there that can change once they get that ring and are more than happy to take all our stuff and make life hell . if you really want to get married tell him you will sign a prenup without him mentioning it