Having kids and a career?

Question

Do you think you can have children before your 30 and build a successful career? The last thing I want is to be an old mum but at the same time i'm worried what having children young will mean for me career wise if I have a child soon. I'm 23 now, own a 3-bed house and have a decent job with management prospects. However, i'm worried these management prospects will be offered to my male counterparts if I have children. What experiences have other people had? And does this concern anyone else?

Answer 1

Well firstly if you are a woman, with or without children, then men generally get picked over a woman for senior positions, although this is unlawful, most companies get away with it.

The best advice I can give you, is to firstly, make sure you are an established member of staff, that you've been working there for 2 years at least before becoming pregant. Get on with your job, no unncessary sick days and give your employer a positive example of a pregnant women in the workplace.... so many women really milk this and end up p***ing off their management and coworkers, so keep time off to a minimum.

I had my first child when I was 27 and in a good job and it didn't affect my capacity to move up the ladder, as I gave them a positive experience. Yes there were days when I felt like crap, so I was just really truthful with them and said how I felt and asked if I could work from home or come in a little later, they appreicate this more than just throwing a sicky.

Also, I kept my antenatal appointments either first thing in the morning or last thing, so it didn't interrupt my working day too much.

I'm now only 33, and am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second child and intend to return to work again, although this time I'm with a different company. I have a well paid job, my own house, financially secure enough to privately educate my children as well as climb the career ladder.

Be warned though, when you have children your priorities do change, I'm no longer the career b**ch that I aspired to be, I'm more mellow in my approach to work and a good work life balance is critical.... I took a £10k pay reduction with this job, as it allowed me to work from home and not do too much European and International travel, so don't be surprised if you start making these sacrifices.

If you feel that you are financially secure then go for it, but remember have your child care all arranged before you go back to work and ensure that its reliable. If you have to take time off to nurse a sick child, then offer your employer to take it as holiday, this is what I did and they've never taken me up on this, and just allowed to me to work from home when I can, when my little boy is sick.

Answer 2

I had my 3 kids at 19, 21 and 24. I'm really happy I did . Firstly that is how it is supposed to be biologically, it is easier to conceive and you have a greater chance of an easier pregnancy and healthier kids. You are also younger and have more energy etc to look after a demanding baby.

In addition they give you so many life skills that will help you in you life and career - you will be more resourceful, resiliant, more able to cope with stress, and have better time management. You will learn so much from them and with them. If you keep waiting there will never be a right time and then it could be too late - you will always be stressed and not feel fulfilled.

As they grow up you will still have responsibilities, and may never build up your career like a woman who never had any kids - but that is probably not what you want anyway. I now work part time (kids are 3, 5 and 7) and am really happy in my work and making good progress. I don't actually have any plans to work full time, I just don't want to.

The other day I was at work talking to a woman who has done very well, high earner, great career etc. Part of me felt a bit sad that I had missed that -I felt I was capable of it. The next day I was off (I only work 2 days a week) and went to the park with my daughter. We had a great time feeding the ducks and walking round the pond looking for fish, throwing sticks off the bridge and seeing them float the other side. I thought- that career and being stuck in a stuffy office was not what I wanted anyway. My kids have opened up life so much, made me so happy with wonder watching them grow, money does not make happiness. I'm really glad I had them young.
And hopefully when I'm 35 they will be 16, 14 and 12, and loads of women my age will be starting on the morning sickness/nappy changing thing - I can enjoy my 'early retirement'!

Answer 3

I can tell you that I too am 23. I have a 3 year old son also. I finished school and have a great career. I own my own house and I am not married. I have advanced in my career already and will continue.

If you want to have children then have children. The way that I feel personally about all of this is that you will advance in your career as far you will let yourself. My son does go to daycare during the day, there's nothing wrong with that. I try to keep my overtime days to the days when his father will have him. But I have my mom too who will pick him up for me.

The weekends are my time with my son. Those are the days we get to do anything. Some may say that it's not great parenting. But I want my son to have the best life possible. And being a single mom, I have to do that on my own.I see him 5 days a week. We have a great relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting a career with a family.

Go for it all!

Answer 4

I'm a year older then you and think the same thing, I've waited 6 years to get the job I'm qualified for as there aren't many jobs in this area. I'm thinking if I have kids waiting all those years to get the job will have been pointless but I know if I do have children I'll go part-time.

I am lucky in that I work in an area where many of the ladies there have children. They leave them with their mother in law, mum or child minder and it works really well for them I think when the times comes maybe I can do the same thing (leave mine with a child minder), when they are 4 they start full time school anyway so you get full time child care then :), some nurseries at 3 take them full time too. The thing you will have to think about though is your hours as some people work from 8 till 8 which seems pointless in them having children as they don't get to enjoy them, they take them out of bed to a child minders or day care and then bring them home asleep and put them to bed.

Answer 5

Yes, you can build a good career and have kids.
I had my first baby at 27, 8 months ago and went back to work after 6 months. These days, they have to keep the exact same job open to you when you go off to have a baby.
I have had some very negative responses about working full time and having a child. It's awful. But I need to work to pay the mortgage. Plus, he is really happy in nursery which helps.
Please don't rush, you are only 23 - build your career for a few more years. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, it all depends on your idea of "successful career." I'm 30 years old, I have two children...27 months and 11 months, respectively), and I'm very good at what I do. I'm a legal secretary and I love my job. I'm not considered upper management by any stretch of the imagination (LOL) or even middle management. I answer to "the man". heh :) However, as I've said, I love my job, I'm good at it, and I'm paid handsomely...so I'd say that makes me successful. I'd say the answer to your question is probably "yes". While I'd desperately love to stay home with my children, I'm the breadwinner in the family and we can't afford to lose my salary.

Answer 7

Having teenagers did no longer end my occupation even yet it stalled it. there is not any longer something incorrect with desiring it the two (i think of I invited that concept) yet your life would be positioned on carry till you're teenagers are in college all day. I switched occupation paths those days to a minimum of a few thing that paid extra with out wanting a grasp's degree good away. My advice is that in case you adore your occupation, do no longer supply up on it. Take a pair years off while the youngsters are little or artwork section time, yet flow back. My best worry is having a school degree (first one on my element of the family contributors) and that i won't be able to be waiting to apply it, and function a Mrs. degree (no offense to stay at domicile mothers). in case you place a good number of money into turning out to be a nurse, criminal expert, accountant or although, you owe it to your self and people who helped you get there to do some thing with it.

Answer 8

this concerns every female your age across the world. its better to have kids now then when you are 33 or 43. you will be a lot better established in the company at that time with better career prospects. and we all have male counterparts who take our jobs. think whats best for you.
to be honest, at 23 you are probably not taken as seriously in your job as you will be at 33, and your kids willbe 10 by then.

Answer 9

In my opinion, when you have kids your first priority is them - which means you should be there for them and not park them in daycare all the time. Either you or the father should stay at home til they hit Kindergarden and then go back part-time so you can be home when they are.

Management is never a 40 hour week so you'll be shorting the little nippers of even more time with you.

Answer 10

I am no expert by any means, but one thing to keep in mind is that there probably never will be a "perfect time" in your life to have a baby. If you keep waiting until that "perfect timing" then you'll never have a baby. When it happens, everything will somehow work out. Another thing to consider...the older you get (30s) sometimes the less fertile people are.