is it wrong to keep my 3 year old daughter on the toilet 4 a long time?

Question

she keeps peeing on her self and shes been pootie trained

Answer 1

Yes. What you have going on is a power struggle and she's going to win!

At her age she knows what to do and making her sit there is just going to make her hate the toilet and be even more resistant to using it.

I've had 3 kids. One was amazingly easy to train, one was medium easy to train and one took until 6 to really be potty trained.

3 is pretty average these days.
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Now..you say she is trained and all of a sudden she's soiling herself? If this is true, take her to the doctor right away. She could have a urinary tract infection which would make it hard for her to control herself and could cause permanent damage. So rule that out first.

Next question: has something changed in the household like a move or a new baby? Sometimes toddlers regress (take a step backwards) when changes happen. If this is the case, you'll need to step backwards too and give her some time to adjust before starting over.
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Now...presuming those issues have been handled. This is what I would do. And..very important stay calm. Do not act angry and do not punish her.

But do put her back into diapers. At least for a few weeks so you can stop the battle that is happening now. After a week or so, take her shopping and buy her some new panties and let her pick them out so she is excited. Put them in her drawer and say "when you are ready to use the potty all the time and stay dry, you can wear these. Until you are ready, they stay in the drawer nice and clean."

Then drop the issue. If you get lucky, in a few days she'll ask. I got lucky with my first. That was all it took.
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next trick:
It's summer out so take advantage of the nice weather and let her walk around naked or without panties. MOST kids won't pee on the floor on purpose so this works for a lot of kids because they'll run to the toilet. I did this with my son and he kept begging me to put his diapers back on when he had to go. I just looked at him and said "no, you are too old for diapers. You know what to do." This worked in a couple of days. My friend did this and her daughter had a few accidents, but it was solved within a week.
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next trick:
The star chart, also the m n'm's jar (or whatever works for your child). Pretty simple, put the jar of candy or the chart over the toilet (might be good to keep the candy out of reach) and every time she does it in the pot, she gets a star or a candy. If using stars, give a prize for every 5 stars and a prize for every full day dry.
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using peer pressure -
Even at her age a lot of kids don't want to be left behind. Take the obvious pressure off her, but don't miss an opportunity to point out that "so and so is wearing big girl underpants," this works great if the other child is also younger.

You can also deny privileges or treats based on "babies can't do that and only babies wear diapers." Look for things this can work on, like little girl dress up heels. Let her try them on in the store, then when she gets excited say something like "oh..they are so pretty and grown up, too bad you have to be clean and dry and wearing big girl underpants to own them." Then walk away. OR you can buy them and put them away for when she's "ready" just like the pretty panties. Make her prove she's ready for at least a week before she gets them.

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desperate act -
I had a neighbor do this with her son. Dad told him that he was going to be 4 next week and that's too old for mom and dad to have to be changing diapers, so after his birthday, if he still wants to wear diapers, he has to do it himself. Then dad spent a few minutes practicing how to put one on, take one off and how to clean him up.

Day 1...kid sat in gross diaper all day trying to get various family members to change it. None did. Late in the afternoon, he tried to clean himself up, got disgusted, asked for help and never soiled himself again.
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As to my tough one...well..I think she would have been as easy as the other two if we hadn't moved in with my mom just before she hit 2 and if my mom hadn't pushed the issue. Had we been as relaxed with her as we were with the other 2, I think it would have gone better. Plus, she actually does have some learning disabilities which may have been part of it.

I remember listening to a child expert on TV once who said..who cares when they do it as long as they do? No one walks down the wedding aisle wearing a diaper or sucking a pacifer.

Each kid has their own schedule and its a lot easier to leave them in diapers until they are ready, than to deal with the mess if they aren't.

Answer 2

She is still quite young and may need reminding from time to time that she has to use the toilet, especially if she is engrossed in a game or something.
when you keep her on the toilet are you making her "go"? she may be associating the toilet as some kind of punishment for weeing herself!
When she has a little accident. don't make too much fuss about it. Just take her to one side, clean her up and change her clothes and remind her where the toilet is, and she can use it whenever she feels she has to go.

Has this just started happening or has it been all the time?
It might be worth you having a chat with your doctor if all else fails. She may have a slight infection in her bladder which will make her wee more than normal.

Good luck.

Answer 3

THIS IS WRONG! There is obviously something else going on with this child. If she just started wetting herself this could be an infection of something. Making her sit there is not the answer and I will assure you it will not help. Part of potty training itself is learning to notice you need to go and head for the bathroom. So, even if she happens to pee while sitting there it isn't going to help her when she is playing. Making her sit there is cruel and anyone who would say it is OK doesn't have children or knows nothing about child psychology. This could be a sign of something a lot more severe than bladder problems. Talk to your doctor immediately instead of torturing this child.

Answer 4

I think you should take your 3 year old daughter to a doctor to be checked out. She may have an infection. to see if something is the matter, is there a new baby around. As children do this because there is a new baby around, and are a little jealous . I hope this helps a little.

Answer 5

I think it is. Maybe something has happened and she's regressing or even something more serious that you do not know about. I think putting pull-ups on her for now is the best thing to do. Rather than making her butt sore on the toilet and making her not want to go there anymore. Talk with her and console her and ask why. Do not get mad at her for making that mistake.

Answer 6

How would you like to just sit there for a long time. She is still young, it is not unusual for 3 year olds to not be potty trained. Just keep trying and she will get it.


dp

Answer 7

I guess that depends on how long your making her stay on the toilet. I think you should figure out why she's doing this; is she doing it for attention, is she getting side-tracked until it's too late, are you giving her large amounts of juice or pop, or is there anything else going on wrong with here. i wold do some deep thinking on the cause.

Answer 8

No, you're doing the right thing! She has to learn to pee in the toilet! When she does, reward her!

Answer 9

Yes. For some reason she just doesn't feel comfortable. She will. Give her time. If you push her, she may take even longer to become comfortable.

Answer 10

yes she is 3 for gods sake

besides she may have some problem with her bladder or kidneys tell your doctor see what he says.