Will the real me please stand up? How can I just be myself?

Question

Today at work I was on the phone being very professional and polite and someone stopped by my desk and said you sure act diffrerent on the phone than you do in person and with people.
I said it gets nauesiated being polite all the time I just like to let it all hang out she laughed and walked away.

There is a part of me that always wants to be well liked and well received by others. Deep down inside I am loving and gentle and kind hearted but there are times more often than not that I have hardened my heart and become loud, obnoxoius and over bearing,

I just received an e-mail about being christ like and sharing Gods love to those who are hurting and I welled up with tears and started to cry. I the midst of living life I forgot what it is like to really feel.

I dont want to put up a front and be someone I am not, I have been hurt many times, please pray for me that the real me will come forth and that I would serve God with a loving heart.

Answer 1

I think your last statement says it all, you've been so hurt that you no longer want anyone to see you how you really are, unless you are sure they will not hurt you.

This is not the way to love people, and it's not the way Jesus would want you to live. Yes, people will hurt you, in mental and physical ways sometimes. But you will survive. That's part of why Jesus says we should turn the other cheek. Because loving someone means letting them hurt you on occasion ... because they are hurting too.

People hurt me all the time, they say mean and vicious things to me and I let them, because it's just a hurt, it's not my soul.

Answer 2

Try letting go of other peoples opinion of you. It sounds like you are really spun trying to be one face for one group of people and another face for another group, and still another persona for another setting. Relax, life is about learning who we are. Let go of others opnions and judgements, it will only make you crazy. Who likes a crazy person anyway?
I have struggled with a negative self image a lot in my life. I find that I feel best when I am honest and true. When I am sad I don't try to act happy. The more real I am the more of myslef I give people to hang on to. If I am superficial and only allow people to see a made up facade then they will never really get in to my heart and I will never get in to theirs., Real relationships come from the willingness to be real, even in the face of possible hurt.
I am grown more confident as I have gotten older too. Leaving high school insecurity way behind helped.

Answer 3

Hello, In Jeremiah 24:7 It talks about The Lord giving US, YOU A new heart, When Adam and Eve sinned they took on Another nature, A evil one and we because of that fact have that same nature, but when we accept Christ and ask [on A daily basis] He gives us that new heart so in doing what we normaly do, we are doing what Christ would do, you can get free Bible studys if you want, [free]www.itiswritten.com If you want to talk email me at [e-mail] God bless

Answer 4

You have just received your own prayer...by making a public statement of your desire for change! You should thank your co-worker for being your mirror...to see who you are in the eyes of another can be very disturbing as we often fool ourselves into believing that we are being honest about who we are publicly. Women especially have a need to be liked...and when we have to force ourselves into false representation (like a help-desk person), the feelings we are holding back sometimes explode onto those we feel 'safe' with...like our co-workers. You now have a wonderful opportunity to change that in yourself. Find a different outlet for your frustrations...or at least be honest about why you are acting in an un-Christ-like manner...:)

Blessings,
Rev Debi Brady

Answer 5

You've received some good advice so far. The only thing I'd add is "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. You can read some of it here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0310247454/qid=1151007097/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-8696094-8289651?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

Sometimes when you don't feel like you are free to be who you are, you vascilate between trying to please others and trying to protect yourself from others. If you have good boundaries, you can just be yourself.

May God bless you in your service to Him.

Answer 6

God always grant us our heart desire especially a noble one like this. He is the one that gave you that desire, if you hold on to it He will grant it. Remember you have a choice to make. Choose to be nice and Christlike despite the circumstance, person or situation. God bless you.

Answer 7

I'm the real you. A Jew from Nebraska! How about that? You just learned something new about yourself! So, from now on when someone asks you to describe yourself, Just say, "Well, I'm a 30yo Jewish man from Nebraska." At least they'll laugh.

Answer 8

You sound like a wonderful sensitive and caring person. You are created in the image of God to be just like you are. You need not hide your light under any bushel!! I appreciate that you have shared openly like this. If you care to chat more please email or IM me.

Answer 9

Just walk around the office naked, from there on out nobody will remember you for what you said or anything else no matter if your obnoxious or overbearing they will only remember that your the one who walked around the office naked.

Answer 10

hello..
you have my sympathy here ..
i often feel hurts too..
but i guess we shouldn't bother ..
what we have to do is see inside us.. not what is outside us ...
it is okay to be soft, kind.. it is also okay to be rude, bad..
the problem arise if we think black or white, good or evil.. right or wrong ..
it is our own choice ..
it is also okay to be polite on the phone, and unpolite on people..
just don't blame yourself because what others think to you..
everything is okay... everything is just fine...