wut r some good dumb blond jokes?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Question

i really want 2 no some plz!!!!!!!

Answer 1

A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...

"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

That night the blonde dreams she wins the lotto. Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. The next day she prays...

"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...

"My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good Servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and the blonde is confronted by the voice of God Himself...

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this..... Buy a ticket."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy in a supermarket.

A beautiful blonde waves at him and says hello.

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says "Do you know me?"

To which she replies "I think you are the father of one of my kids."

Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My gawd, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table, with all of my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my *** with wet celery and stuck a carrot up my butt?".

She said, "NO! I'm your son's Math Teacher!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject And,
finally getting all the necessary tools together,
she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Startled, the blonde moved farther down the ice, poured a thermos of Cappuccino and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens The voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde, now worried, moved clear down to the opposite end of the Ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward, and asked,
"IS THAT YOU, LORD?"

The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," ! he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says..

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(This is bad!)

(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)

(You know you could just click off and not read the punch line....)

(You can still delete it)

(You know you're gonna be sorry)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

It says,

"Hair Spray -
Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

Answer 2

how do you kill a blond? put a sratch n' stiff at the bottom of the pool!
a blond was overhearing her co-workers talking about how dumb blondes were,she went into the room and said we all are smart, then one coworker said o yeah tell me all the capitals of the state tomorow she said fine so when she got home she studied all night then when she was at work the same man said whats the capital of indiana she thought for a moment then responded "I"

one day two blondes were ridin in a car when they saw another blond rowing a boat in a corn field then the blond driving said its blonds like that that gives us a bad name! then the passenger blond said i know if we werent going so fast i would swim out there and stangle her!

Answer 3

Why did the blonde stick her head out the car's sun roof?
She needed a free refill.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She tossed out all the W's.

Answer 4

One day, a blond went to a store to buy a TV. She found one and brought it to the front to buy it. The cleck said,"We don't sell to blonds." She said okay and left. The next day she came back, she had dyed her hair. She went up to the cleck to buy the TV, but again the cleck said the same thing. "We don't sell to blonds." the girl became frustrated, but she said okay and left. Next time, she came back with different colored eyes, and the dyed hair. Again she asked to buy the TV, and again, the cleck said, "We don't sell to blonds." Finally she got fed up and asked,"How do you know im a blond?" The clrck smiled and said,"Because you're trying to buy a microwave as a TV."

Answer 5

a blond and a red head are sitting on a park bench when a bird flys byand craps on the blonds head the red head run to get some toilet paper but the blond seys dont warry abou it the bird will be long gone befor you get back

Answer 6

One day, a blond went to a store to buy a TV. She found one and brought it to the front to buy it. The cleck said,"We don't sell to blonds." She said okay and left. The next day she came back, she had dyed her hair. She went up to the cleck to buy the TV, but again the cleck said the same thing. "We don't sell to blonds." the girl became frustrated, but she said okay and left. Next time, she came back with different colored eyes, and the dyed hair. Again she asked to buy the TV, and again, the cleck said, "We don't sell to blonds." Finally she got fed up and asked,"How do you know im a blond?" The clrck smiled and said,"Because you're trying to buy a microwave as a TV."

Answer 7

Three blondes were looking at some tracks in the woods. The first one said they were rabbit tracks. The second said they were deer tracks. The third was certain they were raccoon tracks.

They were still arguing when the train ran them over.

Answer 8

one day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde found a magic mirror that told you if your comment was true or false, but if the answer was false then a trapdoor would open underneath you and you would fall underground. the brunette stood in front of a mirror and said "I think I'm ugly." The comment was false and she fell underground. the redhead went next she said "I think I'm pretty." the comment was false and she fell underground the blonde stood in front of the mirror and said " I think ..." the comment was false and she fell underground cuz the blonde couldnt think

Answer 9

There was a red head and a blond the red head saw a cat with one eye she told the blond to look at that cat with one eye...

The blond covered her one eye and said where?

Answer 10

How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.