I want to be a part of my boyfriend's 3 month old baby life. I buy her things and everything her mom really isnt a good mom.... but she told my boyfriend not to have her around me.... Do I ignore her and continue to care for the child anyway.... and did I mention I want to have a baby by him soon... Real soon...
2006-06-22 08:15:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Ok... but soon the baby will have to bond with me anyway... bc she's really not a good mom... gave away her first child... so he's about to get custody of her soon... Please note this guy is a great dad....
2006-06-22 08:39:02 · update #1
She can't tell him who he can have around the baby so don't worry.
2006-06-22 09:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by cutiepie81289 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Sounds like your boyfriend has enough going on in his life without you having a baby too. Just because YOU want a baby doesn't mean that HE wants a baby, or that it is a good idea and in the BABY'S best interests.
2) You need to talk to you bf regarding your involvement in his child's life. If he is ok with it, then fine. If not, well then, you need to respect the fact that you are not as high a priority as his child.
3) You need to seriously consider why you want to be with this man who abandoned the mother of his three month old child. What sort of precedent is that setting for when/if you have a baby?
4) I would suggest finishing high school. If you have already done that, I would then suggest finishing college. I'm not even going to speculate that you've done, or even thought about, doing that.
2006-06-22 15:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off : the mom probably doesn't want you around because she is likely feeling territorial about that baby being HER son. And she is right to feel this way, and being a mother of a baby myself, I'd personally want to rip the child out of your arms and tell you not to go near her either. This is a mother thing - whether or not you think she is a good mom (and of course your bf is going to say she isn't, because they're obviusly somewhat freshly broken up if baby was only conceived last year) - she doesn't want her baby bonding to another woman and it's completley normal. I can't say whether it's right or wrong, only that I would feel the same way she does.
A question for you : you are wanting to have his baby soon. He is not with the woman who is the mother of his first child. You think he'll stick around for you? And : does HE know you want to have his baby? Cuz if he's already got one (who's still incredibly young) he may not be into having another one so soon.
2006-06-22 15:27:21 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really unrealistic for you not to be in the baby's life since you are with her dad. you should continue to care for her no matter what the mom says. Are you sure you want to have a baby with someone who has a baby from someone else? I'm just saying because there will always be drama from the mom and be sure you plan on staying with this person. Just make sure you are certain because once you have a baby there is no going back.
2006-06-22 15:20:50 · answer #4 · answered by Roz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this man your husband? If no, why not?
And why do you want to have a baby with a man that is already allowing his child to receive poor parenting?
Sorry, these are my first thoughts.
As to this child, it is never right to sneak around and do anything in life. The parents of this child have the right to decide who the child associates with, I am sure that you would want the same right with your child.
Sorry, unless your are this child's step-mother, butt out.
If you are this child's step-mother, you need to develop a relationship with the child's mother. Be mature here. There is a child involved in this, so get over yourself.. You married this man knowing he had a child with another woman. Put stupid jealousy aside and focus on the child and his/her best interests. Isn't that why you are asking this question?
Now, if you have legimate, documented evidence of abuse/neglect. Call child protective services and get some help.
Make one child's life better before you add another to this mix.
2006-06-22 15:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by momma dog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you like spending time with the baby and ask him to talk to the baby's mother so you can work something out or try talking to her yourself. Tell her that you're not trying to replace her or anything, you just like spending time with her and since you might be having a child with the baby's father soon you want to get to know your future child's stepsister.
2006-06-22 15:20:25 · answer #6 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on your previous questions I don't think you should be thinking about having a baby.You made it sound like your relationship with your boyfriend is rocky at best.You say he wants to go out with his budddies and leave you home.He sounds selfish to me and that is not a good quality for a partner or a father.Why do you want a baby,to see which baby he "loves more".I think you both have a lot of maturing to do before making more babies.
2006-06-22 23:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't stop buying for the baby because she's innocent and you say she's not a good mom that's where you step in if it's no problem with your boyfriend then keep doing girl! first things first let him try to bond with this one first and then consider having one , you two are parents now!
2006-06-22 15:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by mz.t-bird 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As in shes married and your having an affair or is it wed-lock. Ether way, its nice your trying to help but that doesn't fix things.... its her kid let her decide... by the way: if he has a kid and he's not staying with the wife, forget him he's not good enough for you. He screwed up and he needs to learn to live with it, rather than having that kid have his daddy leave mommy to be with his girlfriend, that is really traumatizing.
2006-06-22 15:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by Pugmo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on your question I think's it's fairly obvious that you lead a very Jerry Springer life and you are far too young to be having children.
2006-06-22 15:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by CarlaCCC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋