I've been dating a much older man in LA, I'm in NYC for the past 4 years. He has a non-profit edu. buisness out there & is a very much in demand DJ...A few months ago he said he'll be moving here in September because the club he DJ's at is creating a nyc version, now it turns out that the club thing out here is gonna take alot longer than expected & therefore he can't move just yet because he won't have a way of making money...We've had this conversation many times & he keeps telling me this year ( which may not happen) But my question is, is it worth sticking around even though he helps me financially because I still live at home, gives me anything I want, but at the same time he won't let me visit his home in LA, he visits me & we only stay in hotels....What do you think because my mind keeps running wild about all this crap!!
2006-06-22 07:37:50 · 30 answers · asked by Lolateeny 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I say keep him but keep your other options open! You are fine enough to attract him hit NYC and meet some guys to spend time with and get to know you might find someone that peaks your interest more and if not you'll never sit around and wonder what if! Go to the city see whats out there if nothing happens stick to what you have you never know what fate has out there for you but you have to be available to receive her gifts. Good luck mama!
2006-06-22 07:43:24 · answer #1 · answered by princess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself, "Why doesn't he want you to visit him?" Perhaps he is hiding something. There seems to be a hesitation there.
If it is love, there wouldn't be anything that would come between you two. NYC and LA are large night club scenes. If you can make in NY you could make it anywhere. If he is that much in demand, he should not have a problem going to you in the City.
If he is that much older, find out what his life before you was like?
I wouldn't wait. Life is too short for non-sense.
2006-06-22 14:56:15 · answer #2 · answered by bombshellicon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this really isnt a question anyone but u can answer. you are the only one who knows how u feel about this guy. i would be a little worried why he wont let u come to LA and that u always have to stay in hotles because he may have something to hide. but their is no guarntee he is hiding something. you should ask him about it and get an answer on why he doenst let u visit. but ultimately it comes down to are u happy and do you feel he is worth the wait. a realtionship shouldnt be about the money and gifts he gives you it should be about the love you have for each other and the fun you have together and they way two people compliment each other to make each one of u a better person. you have to do some sole searching and some talking with this guy to see what would be best for you. your the only one who knows whats bestt for you, you just have to figure out what that is. and only u can know whats best for you
2006-06-22 14:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with KAIJIE03'S aswer, he/she answered u quite well .from me its ok to have long distance relationship ,what I suggest is that he is already sending u money,and you are at home(jobless),which is a very good thing & last weapon for u to find out the truth?
what I am trying to say is just go to L.A. and watch him ,without telling him .I am sure u yourself find out the truth which will make your decision right on the spot . O.K.
besides me every one have asked u to leave him and go on.without findingout the truth it wouln't be fair with him.cuz if I had to use someone so far ,I wouldn't have visited her more than two or three times and nor even I would have given her any expenses.
just visit him ,may be he loves u really and he doesn't have any one else besides u ,and he cares about u so much that he doesn't want u to get involved in his trouble and leave him alone.
yes my dear ,I am taking only one percent chance to say that he is ok, the other 99% u can see in other ppls answers.
NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO VISIT HIM,WITHOUT TELLING HIM ,WHICH I am 100% SURE THAT U CAN DO TO FIND THE TRUTH AND MAKE DECISION. TAKE CARE
2006-06-22 15:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by virgo1982 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take advantage of the situation. Keep doing what your doing but have a friend or two to occupy your time. Most likely that's what he's doing but just doesn't want to tell you or hurt your feelings. In my opinion, he has a girlfriend/wife. So take the money give him all the phone conversations he can take and whenever he's in town and tries to hook up with you, just be unavailable. Like when he tells you he's coming out your way next week hit him with "Oh wow, that's too bad I wish I would've known sooner because I would've never booked that trip with my girls to Jamaica." If he doesn't come out your way that much, it will take a while for him to figure out what your doing.
2006-06-22 14:49:16 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are, but I figure you are young since you still live at home. You don't say how much older he is. The money and gifts are worthless in the long run. The main thing is, if you love him and trust him (since you mention things about not going to his house and LA), then wait for him. But the younger you are, the harder it is to wait for someone. I am 43 years old and I had a long-distance relationship with someone. When they finally moved to where I was, it was horrible. Good luck.
2006-06-22 14:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definitely sounds like there's a lot going on in LA that you don't know about... If the guy won't let you come to his house to visit, thats a huge red flag. Get out before you get hurt....
Always follow your heart and do what makes you happy
Good Luck :)
2006-06-22 14:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by Smitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait. It seems like you are a getting paid to be his girlfriend. He also seems to be lieing to you. Maybe he has a family back home or something. He may want to be with you, but in time you will realize its best to be with a man around you own age, so you guys can experience life together.
He seems very fishy to me and if he pays for things, that seems like the only reason your staying with him. What do you do at these hotels? I bet you guys just don't talk. And if I am right it sounds like your being paid for sex just like a prostitute.
Go on and move on with you life.
2006-06-22 14:43:31 · answer #8 · answered by blondieinlove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like a kosher situation to me. How long are you willing to be strung along? Ther's a reason long distance relationships often don't work out (many actually)...you've been waiting around for 4 years...that's 4 yrs of your life you cannot get back...how many guys with wonderful partner potential have you passed up during that time, while waiting for someone who appears to be playing you for a sucker?
2006-06-22 14:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he's leading you on - has he explained why he won't let you visit him? it sounds like there's another woman in his life - especially since the 2 of you only stay in hotels. so what if he gives you money - that shouldn't be your basis for staying with someone - I think you need to get rid of this guy and end it - sorry - but really sounds like he's using you and that he has a girlfriend or wife back in LA
2006-06-22 14:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by kaije03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋