Ok so does anybody have any blonde or yo momma jokes that they think are good?

Question

make surre they are funny please

Answer 1

> So Fat ...............
> Your mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
>
Your mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
>
Your mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
>
Your mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
>
Your mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
>
Your mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
> ______________________________________________________________________ So
> So Dumb...........
> Your mama so dumb she could trip over a cordless phone!
>
Your mama so dumb she sold her car for gasoline money!
>
Your mama so dumb it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
>
Your mama so dumb she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
>
Your mama so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
>
Your mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
>
Your mama so dumb she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
>
> Your mama so dumb that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
> _______________________________________________________________________
> So Old.................
>
Your mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
>
Your mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
>
Your mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
>
Your mama so old her social security number is 1!
>
Your mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
>
Your mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
> _______________________________________________________________________
> So Ugly........................
>
Your mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!"
> and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
>
Your mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no
> professionals."
>
Your mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
>
Your mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
>
Your mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Answer 2

yo mama so old when I told her to act her age she died

yo mama is so dumb she stuck the phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call


A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Answer 3

how you can drown a blonde is put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

tell a blonde to get a bag of m&ms and ask her to put them in althabetical order.

put a blonde in a circle room and tell her to go in a corner

yo mammas so ugly she went in a haunted house and came out with an application application is a job she that you fill out befor you get a job

your mammas glasses are so thick when she looks at amap she sees people waving

your mammas so old she has jesus in her yearbook.

your mammas sostupid shetacobell is a mexican phone comp.

your mammas so fat she has to have two watches because she takes up two timezones.

your mammas so poor that when I steped on a cigerrette in the street she said who turned off the heat

your mammas so poor when i drove by her she was rolling a can on the side of the street I asked what she was doing and she said moving.

your mammas so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be contienued

your mammas teeth are so yellow that cars slow down

Answer 4

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid." The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor,I'm already here."
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."
A guy is driving down a deserted highway. He pulls up to an intersection, and rolls through the stop sign. From out of nowhere, a cop pulls him over.
COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
GUY: "Hey, I slowed down didn't I???"
COP: "You must come to a full stop at the sign."
GUY: "Stop. Slow down. What's the difference?"
The cop pulls out his baton and starts to beat the guy with-out mercy.
COP: "Well, do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?"
How did the blond explain how her helicopter crashed?
She said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

Answer 5

yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone

yo momma is so ugly she looked in the mirror and her reflection ducked

yo momma is so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles poped out

Answer 6

Yo momma like a...
Yo momma like a shot gun, two cocks and she blows!
Yo momma like Domino's pizza -- Something for nothing.
Yo momma like spoiled milk, fat and chunky!
Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Yo momma like a bowling ball: She's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter.
Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Yo momma like a hockey team...changes her pads every three periods!
Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Yo momma is like a racing car...chick burned four rubbers in one night.
Yo momma like castlebury stew: servings are family size.
Yo momma so poor...
Yo momma so poor, she bounces food stamps!!

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box!

Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.

Yo Momma so poor she can't afford the o or the r.

Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."

Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"

Yo Momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.

Yo Momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps.

Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Yo Momma so poor she drives a peanut.

Yo Momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo Momma so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus.

Yo Momma so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!"

Yo Momma so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner."

Yo Momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet!

Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop!

bLoNdE...
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

Answer 7

The blonde girl opens a box of Cheerios and says, "Darn, I wanted cereal, not doughnut seeds!"

Answer 8

why did the blonde girl climb over the chain link fence??

to see what was on the other side

Answer 9

Okay, well I only have one, but I love it.

How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?

There's a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Answer 10

You're Momma's so fat.................
She went out in high heels, and came home in flip flops.