2006-06-22 07:00:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A blond walked into her doctor's office for her yearly physical wearing headphones which were connected to a walkman. The doctor asked her to remove them so that he could perform the physical. She did not remove them and seemed a bit embarrassed. So the doctor repeated the request. She said, "I can't take them off or I'll DIE!" the doctor was surprised by the response, and assured her that she would NOT die if she removed the headphones. The blond kept repeating that if she took them off she'd die. The doctor, not having time for a difficult patient that day, told her that he was going to go check some test results and that when he got back he expected the headphones to be off. The doctor returned 10 minutes later and found the blond passed out on the floor. He checked her pulse and found that she had none. Curious, he picked-up the headphones that were laying next to her on the floor. He placed them over his own ears. The recording said: " Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out....." *smile* Enjoy
2006-06-22 07:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Enica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
now i want my 10 Pts!!!!!!!!!
Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A. Because they both drip when they're ******!
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow **** have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it...
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A. Get'em on their back and their both ******.
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A. A ******** with handlebars
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
A. There is white out on the screen.
Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores?
A. Open 24 hours a day.
Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A. Practice.
Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A. To cover the valve stem.
Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A. They spread for the bread.
Q. What's the difference between a group of blondes and a good magician?
A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts.
2006-06-22 07:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by Dumb B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a blonde driving down the highway when she sees another blonde out in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat just paddling away. This really ticks off the first blonde because it's girls like that who make blondes look stupid. So she pulls over cursing under her breath. She gets out of the car and walks to the edge of the cornfield. She starts yelling to the girl in the boat. 'What do you think you're doing? Do you realize that people like you make us all look stupid? I'm tired of hearing all these stupid blonde jokes! If I could swim I'd come over there and kick your a$$ right now!'
2006-06-22 07:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by luckyme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blond goes into a fabric store and asks for a piece of fabric 12 by 14 inches. The clerk was puzzled and asked why so small. The blond said it was for curtains for her computer screen. The clerk replied saying computers don't need curtains. The blonde's reply windows DA.
2006-06-22 07:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by william k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do they have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes go in first!
Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she kept throwing out all the 'W's'!
What do you call a row of blondes?
A wind tunnel!
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So that brunettes can understand them!
Did you hear about the blonde who locked her keys in the car?
It took her an hour and a half to get her boyfriend out!
This blonde was standing at a vending machine putting in her money. She selected the button for 'Coke' and pulled out the coke and put it on the table next to her. After about 12 times a fellow came up to her and asked, "Pardon me, miss, I couldn't help but notice that you are getting a lot of coke here?" She looks at him quizzically. He goes on, "Could you please tell me what it is you are doing?" She replies with disdain, "Winning..DUH!"
2006-06-22 07:04:04 · answer #5 · answered by The Y!ABut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope sorry but im a blonde n i like blonde jokes hehe
have a great day
2006-06-22 07:11:21 · answer #6 · answered by buck_wonderz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how you can drown a blonde is put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
tell a blonde to get a bag of m&ms and ask her to put them in althabetical order.
put a blonde in a circle room and tell her to go in a corner.
2006-06-22 07:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by Emilee H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road...?
A: She finally got tired of trying to go around it!
2006-06-22 07:15:14 · answer #8 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q- why did the blonde cross the road? A-To go to the salon to get her hair bleached!
2006-06-22 07:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by nicole 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was once a italian woman a mexican woman and a blonde woman they were in prison and desided to get out when they got out they each hid in a bush and the police found out when they escape tey saw 3 bushes moving and they threw potatos at the bush to see if that was the when they trew it at the first bush the ialian woman said woof woof to pretend she was a dog when they trew it at the second bush the mexican woman said meow meow to pretend she was a cat when they threw it to the last bush the blonde woman got the potato and stuck her head out and said potato potato
2006-06-22 07:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋