why is it most of us females like guys that do us wrong?

Question

My ex boyfriend hurt me so much, but I still love him. I just wanted to know why femeles date the "bad boy" not the nice guy

Answer 1

It is pretty normal.

It is not really self esteem, though I am sure that many others will disagree. It is also not true that girls are attracted to abuse, or violence – most girls are really repelled by that sort of behavior.

A lot of it has to do with confidence. The “alpha male” type is invariably confident – though not usually in a terribly cocky way – and confidence is the sexiest thing a man can have. If a man is confident in himself and his abilities – chances are I can be too, but if even he is unsure of himself – then I should be much more wary of him as well.

Not only is confidence sexy, but lacking confidence guarantees failure. A confident guy will ask almost any girl out – and she may go out with him as a result (she may not but that is life). The guy who lacks confidence, who never asks the girl out – will never date her. I have lusted after a LOT of guys who I know liked me, but who never got up the courage to ask me out. If you saw the last Harry Potter film, or read the books, think about why Hermione(?) didn’t go to the dance with Harry – not because she did not want to go with Harry, she obviously wanted to go with Harry, but Harry was too afraid to ask her – and so she settled for going with the lout who DID have the balls to ask her.

Most girls, are terribly insecure and more than any thing else, want attention, they want to be wanted by men. The thing is, that very frequently the guys who are “alpha male” types – the ones who tend to be more violent, and abusive to others, are also the ones who are least afraid to express their desires for a girl. The “nice guys” the ones who “play by the rules” are more likely to believe that they need to “respect” a girl by not expressing and keeping his “desire” for a girl in check.

A part of this also has to do with the myth that girls don’t like sex – the “bad boy” doesn’t care if she doesn’t like sex, he is going to get his anyway – and in the process satisfy the girl. The “nice guy” will “respect” a girl and not satisfy either of them.

There are also a small number of girls who were abused as young girls who find the abuse to be attractive, in a very twisted, and unconscious sort of way – but that is a small number of girls, and I don’t think that is the population you are asking about.

Answer 2

You, my friend are part of the problem for a lot of nice guys. They eventually realize that girls like you prefer guys who cads, therefore they may eventually resort to becoming bad boys themselves. All the while, the nice guys struggle to get your attention in an uphill battle that they can rarely ('never say never') win.
In other words, don't waste your time with someone who won't respect you and then settle for a nice guy once you've amassed all kinds of baggage. It's not fair to the nice guy you seem to wish to find. Nor is it doing your future "Mr. Right" any favors.

Answer 3

Someone just answered a similar question, but it has to do with how you view yourself. Until you have been hurt enough, nice is boring and drama is exciting. Women are weird. As guys, we have to be mean when we really dont want to be because we understand that women are illogical and dont respect the nice guy.

Answer 4

Read the book called Women Who Love Too Much.

Answer 5

U know i've been thinking abt same thing lately,why i always go for guys who are cool n bad boys... instead of loving these who respect me and will do everything for me.I think its cos we belive that we can make a bad boy 2 a good boy (wich is completly unpossible in 99%) ,so we r trying our best and working on him,it exited us...cos its more interesting then beeing with a good boy (boringgg he is sooo holly)

Answer 6

I've been through the same thing, and some girls choose not to stop loving guys even though they did you wrong. you are the only person that came fix it. You came only fix ur broken heart and try to move on. It it will be okay even though it will take you some time. Just keep your head up. This reminds me of that song, "foolish" by Ashanti. I kept on listening to music to mend my heart, but you do what you do best and You'll make it through... Good luck!

Answer 7

It is because women want to feel significant and what better way is there than to be the resurer of lost dogs and the forlorn.

The more they get abused the more needed they feel.

I know this isn't the politially correct view; but it is the truth!

Answer 8

I think what it is that most girls are afraid to leave the bad guy. (Me, personally go for the good guys.) I guess most girls that go through that kinda of thing get so use to it. Then they feel like they are useless and worthless to find someone better, because the bad boy probably makes them feel that way.

Answer 9

Because their Mothers are weak & Needy. That's the only thing I can think of. My Mother was, and my Sister is. They both continuely pick controlling Bastards for husbands. Thank Goodness I didn't pick up on that genetic flaw..(I just got her big butt)

Answer 10

Because it's a challenge. We try to change them to be the kind of guy we want them to be, and that way if they do change we feel we must be worthy of their love. It makes us feel as if we have accomplished some great feat...and kind of an ego booster.