She doesn't approve of mixed-race relationships, but I'd hate for her not to be at the wedding. She's never met him, but the time will come soon. Has anyone got any advice on how to deal with it?
2006-06-22 05:46:46 · 32 answers · asked by Emma H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would hope she would save her judgment of him until after she meets and gets to know him as a man, not only as a black man I have been married to my husband for over 35 years and we have a beautiful 32 year old bi-racial daughter,we are accepted as a loving , devoted couple,.not a mixed race couple. If you are looking for prejudices trust me you will find them under every rock. Try to keep upbeat,you are doing nothing you need to be ashamed of. In time if he is a good man for you ,your grandmother will see him as just that and nothing more. Good luck hon.
2006-06-22 06:03:03 · answer #1 · answered by Yakuza 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You can have your family members try to talk to her about this, it might help when she hears other people's point of view.
However, if she does not agree with it then its her choice and it shouldn't affect your decision at all.
Considering marriage base on race is ridiculous, especially if she hasn't even meet him.
Let her know your decision and have your family talk to her too, let her know that you guys are decided to get marry and she can choose to accept it or not accept it.
Either way there will be a wedding and she can choose to attend and celebrate or stay home and live in the past. Give her time to think and sink in the information.
2006-06-22 05:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by thsiung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introduce your fiance (fiancee is female) and your grandmother ASAP. Get that out of the way. Then both of you can tell her that you hope she will a part of this special day. She may never come around and she may very well refuse to come to the wedding but you can't let that keep you from your own happiness. Don't allow her bigotry to spoil this for you.
2006-06-22 05:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her ahead of time about the upcoming marriage. Tell her how happy he makes you and how much you love him. Also stress that you love HER, but this is your life and you would LIKE for her to be accepting of the relationship. Tell her how hurt you will be if she isn't at the wedding. Also let her know the wedding WILL happen with her there or not, and that you hope she can find the grace to put your happiness for before hers in this situation.
2006-06-22 05:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to be immature, it will be her loss when she doesn't show up at the wedding. I know it's hard to bear, but it's YOUR decision who you marry, not hers. You can't live your life worrying about what other people think, especially if you are part of a mixed-race relationship. Good luck!
2006-06-22 05:51:31 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the rest of your family approves then get their help. Understand that she is from a different time when mixed relationships were not accepted. She may not ever fully accept your marriage, but she may accept your decision and that you are happy.
2006-06-22 06:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your grandmother. Sit with her and tell her how much you love him, how much he means to you - tell her everything about him WITHOUT mentioning he is black.
Tell her that you want to get married because this is the man for you and how you really want her to be there.
Then look at her and say grandma, I love you - it would break my heart if you did not come to my wedding but i have something else to tell you about Sam/James? - he is black. It would mean the world to me if you could meet him because I am marrying him.
If she loves you she should overlook her doubts and meet him and be happy for you.
Good luck, hope it all goes well.
2006-06-22 08:18:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant blame her for the way she feels b/c maybe thats the way she was brought up but you can blame her for ruining your wedding by not coming so talk to her and tell her how her not being at your wedding effects you. and if she still doesnt want to cooperate then you get married to the one you love and not worry about it! She will eventually wish she had been there to see you get married and just as much as it hurts you it will hurt her!
2006-06-22 05:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by blackcatluck09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you get him to meet her without her knowing who it is and you get him to get her out of what looks like to her a really nasty jam
it would help if you did this in a way that she can never work out what you have done and that he is part of a small group of people who help her... but he is the main character.... that way it does not look fishy.... it will need a bit of thought and planning as well as the co-operation of some co-conspirators, and you should do it some considerable time before she meets him as your fiancee etc.... or she will smell a rat.
But if you do it right, it might be just the answer you are looking for so get plannin girl and good luck!
:-)
2006-06-22 05:56:21 · answer #9 · answered by goodbye and good luck :-) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your grandmother about your fiancee then, perhaps, have your granny over for a nice meal and meet your fiancee. It's your life. Mixed family's are increasing daily. If he is a great man and a great fiancee she need not look at his color. It's whats inside. I wish you the best.
2006-06-22 05:56:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋