i like one liners and funny comments..........like "if man runs thru turnstile at asian airport, he's going to bangkok" so if anyone got any more please send them as your answer *smile*
2006-06-22 05:02:12 · 9 answers · asked by miss_minxe 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
blonde goes to the doc who tells her she's pregnant.......blonde says is it mine??
2006-06-22 05:10:07 · update #1
So there was an american, a black guy and a mexican that found a genie who granted them each a wish. The black guy asked that he and all of his brothers in America be taken back to their homeland of Africa, so the genie did it. The mexican asked that all of his people in America be brought back to their homes in Mexico, so the genie did that as well. Then the american said: "So you mean to tell me that all of the blacks and mexicans are gone?" and the genie replied "Yeah"; so the american said "Well then i'll have a coke."
===================================
A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the
pharmacist, "Hello, could you give me condom.
I'm going
to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think
I may be in
with a chance!"
The pharmacist gives him the condom and the
young man leaves. He soon returns and says, "Give me
another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very
cute too. She always crosses her legs in a
provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might
strike it lucky there too."
The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as
the boy is leaving he turns back and says,"Go on,
give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is
still pretty cute and when she sees me she always
makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, think
she is expecting me to make a move!
During dinner, the young man is sitting with his
girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right
and the mum facing him.
When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head
and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner
and thank you for all you give us."
A minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank
you Lord for your kindness."
Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying,
keeping his head down.
The others look at each other surprised and his
girlfriend is even more surprised than the
others.
She gets close to the boy and says in his ear,
"I didn't know you were so religious."
The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a
pharmacist!"
===================================
what do you call a mexican babtism??????????
"bean"dip
===================================
A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks to himself, this isn't right, everyone should live in peace. So he stops the bear and rabbit and tells them that if they stop chasing each other he'll give them both three wishes.
The bear thinks for a second and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the forest were female. Poof, all of them are female. Next the rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. The bear looks at the rabbit wondering why he would want a crash helmet.
The bear thinks for a second making sure he makes a good second wish and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the country were female. Again -- poof -- all the rest became female. Then the rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Now the bear steps back and looks at the rabbit in amazment. How dumb is this rabbit he thinks to himself. All he had to do was wish for money and he could buy all the motorcycles he ever wanted. This has to be the dumbest creature the bear has ever seen, he thinks to himself.
It is time for the bear's final wish and he takes a second to think and makes sure he doesn't waste it. After a minute he wishes that all the other bears in the whole world were female. And again poof they are all female.
Next the rabbit puts on his helmet and jumps on the bike. He turns around and smiles. Then he says, ''I wish that that bear is gay.''
===================================
The Day I Died
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to
accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St.
Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first
man, "Tell me about the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an
affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all
over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out
onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man
hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a
hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some
bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony
and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack,
and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it
was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well,
sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on
the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and
slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the
apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my
fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then
the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really
start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
2006-06-22 05:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for
four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they
turned around and went home.
What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
Oh,look, Daddy....doughnut seeds!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette
said,"Oh, look at the dead bird." The blonde looked skyward and
said, "Where? Where?"
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?
Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?
They drowned during spring training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Duh! Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday.
Why are blonde's boobs always square?
Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box.
2006-06-22 05:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by simply_boring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was a blonde srewing a guy the guy says ut oh we forgot to use protection the blonde says ok, gets up, and gets a shot gun the dude says whats that for, then the blonde says protection!!
2006-06-22 05:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
often times it isn't common to save in recommendations birthdays once you purchased your own existence circumstances to fret/imagine about. that is not any enormous deal, in simple terms next time, attempt to prepare your birthday some weeks previously the particular day. That way, in the journey that they ignore, you comprehend they're jerks.
2016-11-15 03:02:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you know the placement of a donkeys eyes enables it to see all four feet at one time,
not alot of people know that
2006-06-22 05:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have some "Ancient Chinese Proverbs" for all to laugh at:
'Man who runs in front of car gets "tired."'
'Man who runs behind car gets "exhausted."'
'Man who stands on toilet is "high on pot."'
HE HE HE HE ; )
2006-06-22 05:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by Merry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm will Simply_boring there wicked well done mate
2006-06-22 05:16:47 · answer #7 · answered by pebbles26981 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do women have small feet?
so they can stand nearer the cooker.
2006-06-22 06:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by JeckJeck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
______________________________________
2006-06-23 06:29:54 · answer #9 · answered by itsa o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋