Ok...I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. I have a 5 year old, he has a 9 year old. We have spent quite a bit of time together, but lately he hasn't been around as much. The 4 of us went away for the weekend this past weekend, and I saw a side of him that I had never seen before.
We had a very nice cabin, he invited us to go with him by the way, he and the kids got to do a lot of relaxing. Am I over reacting at the fact that the entire weekend that he never even picked up a dish to put in the sink? I don't mind cooking and such, but we have discussed the fact that I am a very busy person and that we would split chores and such if this moves on. He never helped me at all do things that had to be done around the cabin.
More importantly though was his attitude with his son, he actually yelled at him more than once and cussed him. He didn't cuss my child, but to me that doesn't matter. To me this is only an indication of what would happen in the future. Am I wrong?
2006-06-22 04:13:17 · 17 answers · asked by lissad 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 30, he is 40. I am an Aquarius he is Pisces
2006-06-22 04:30:20 · update #1
no, you are not expecting too much. i think that children should be one of the most important things in your life and if he mistreats his son, then if you two got any deeper in a relationship, then he may treat your child that way. my mom got married to a man that yells at his kids and then later treated my siblings and me the same way. and part of being in a relationship is helping the other. if he has no desire to clean or help you do anything, even though it was vacation, then maybe he just isnt the right choice. go with your heart, though.
2006-06-22 04:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by caseyrae 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are 100% correct!
He is showing you signs that he is not a good match,
If you are not likeing what you see now before you even get marriade you should look into loosing this guy.
If there are things that don't impress you at all now it will only stay the same or even get worse down the line(in the future).
And a guy with a bad attitude and yelling at his son is no good sign too. He should have understood the first time that you wanted to split the chores up and wanted to help you and wanted to make you happy. But if he is refusing to do that already that isn't a good sign.
Watch yourself girl, not only for yourself but for your child as well.
Move on....
2006-06-22 11:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by Shaya G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are absolutely right. Since you haven't been together that long he should still be bending over backwards to make you happy. The fact that he didn't lift a finger to help you all weekend is a sign of things to come. Also, if you don't like his parenting style, get out. He may not yell and cuss your child right now, but eventually if you two get serious he will feel it's okay. RUN
2006-06-22 11:18:30 · answer #3 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the perfect time to get everything out in the open and what is expected from from each other... chores, duties, cussing... and whatever other quirks that pop-up... also give him a chance to air any little things he has noticed about you that doesn't quite set well with him... The important thing is to GET IT OUT... See if all the problems can be settled to each others acceptability or you may be miserable for many many years to come...
2006-06-22 11:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the cleaning chores thing is a bit much. He should help, yes, but all men get lazy.
Now the way he treated his son is different. This means you 2 have different parenting styles, and that is hard to over come.
You are right by thinking this foreshadows the future...
2006-06-22 11:20:21 · answer #5 · answered by ladyjno7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 100% right. Aside from not lifting a dish in the cabin, is he normally like that at home when together? He's a chauvinist. And taking advantage of you. It's only going to get worse hon.
2006-06-22 11:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, you are right. You were exposed to part of what men tend to hide until they get you where they want. What you saw on that weekend is what will expand over time if you stay with him. Atleast you found out before you were locked into the relationship by marriage or living together.
2006-06-22 11:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stressed and overworked men have this nature. They r sadist too. But still they have soft corner and love for the ones who love them.
You can never bring out what's deep in their heart.
Don't be hasty , Spend some more lovable time and decide.
How old r u guys and what r ur zodiac signs ?
Your guy seems to be a Virgo.
Take it Easy.
Pl do reply.
VJ69
2006-06-22 11:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by vj69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you know what you are getting to. My current husband used to help me with the house work, but now he never does a thing around the house.
It is your descision if you want to live as slave to this man or not. If I were you, I would get away from a man like that.
2006-06-22 11:20:00 · answer #9 · answered by dawntindall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're absolutely correct. It's a good thing you saw this before making a larger commitment to him. If I were you, I would think for a long time about how my life with him would be before you get any more serious with this man. Leopards don't change their spots.
2006-06-22 11:18:09 · answer #10 · answered by Luann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋