Out of courtesy and love for my husband, I am willing to visit and keep moderate contact with my in laws. They are toxic and shallow, and ultimately have a negative effect on my family. How do i deal???!!!
2006-06-22 04:05:35 · 17 answers · asked by shosha14 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's not really anything you can do except suck it up and put on a happy face. If you start running your mouth that will only make things worse between you and your husband because he will automatically defend his family (even if you are right). As much as possible, try to avoid going to family functions (oh, I'm not feeling well, why don't you go without me and send my regrets). When you are there, grit your teeth and bare it.
2006-06-22 04:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think honesty is the best policy or you end up miserable. I am speaking from personal experience. My in-laws lie, cheat, steal, take drugs, have never taken care of their own children and love to start trouble between me and my husband. You are your husband's family now and he should understand where you are coming from. Don't let them ruin your life and make you unhappy.
Do what feels right for you. Time is too short to waste on people like that. I wish I would have told my in-laws off from the beginning. Discuss it with your husband, don't let it eat away at you.
2006-06-22 04:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by nahimana34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to speak to your husband and explain the issue to him. As your husband and their family member he does have the obligation to settle the problems between the families. If he is unwilling to do so then take the matter into your own hands, stand strong and voice your opinion. I've been there and done it. Some families believe they have the upper hand when the man will not step up to bat for their wives or children.
2006-06-22 04:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by American Pride 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show some professionalism and try to be the in-law that you are supposed to be. Try to get along. I guess there are things that are expected of you as an in-law, and there are things that you just have the right to say "no" to, like spending much of personal time with them. Know where the boundary is.
2006-06-22 04:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister in law is having a bad situation with her in-laws, too. You sound like you are doing the best that you can. I'm sure your husband can understand you are doing your best. Just don't cut her down to other people b/c stuff like that always gets back to the ones you don't want it to.
2006-06-22 04:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by drewsilla01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your doing a pretty good job already. Your taking your husbands feelings into consideration but do try to avoid any unnecessary contact with people like that.
2006-06-22 04:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid her. If they are over busy yourself AWAY from her in your kitchen. If you feel like you can't take anymore hide in the bathroom! hehehehe
Really you should talk to your husband and make sure he supports you and just take a break from the in laws. Good luck!
2006-06-22 04:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with only moderate contact you can just suck it up and be polite even if they are rude. Do this for your husband, he will appreciate it. When you are visiting just smile and nod and ignore whenever possible.
2006-06-22 04:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by patticakes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the self-righteous need to tell her off? Be nice, and go to as few gatherings as possible. If you alienate your husband's family, he is going to feel compelled to take sides. What is more important to you -----being right? or being married to your husband?
2006-06-22 04:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by ps2754 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, without getting too heated. Try to make her understand how you really feel without starting WW3. But they are family and as much as you don't want to think so, he will take his family side. Blood is thicker.
2006-06-22 04:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by Angels girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋