Would you accept my apology on behalf of atheists, we have been lieing about evolution this whole time?

Question

I'm very sorry, on behalf of the entire scientific agnostic and atheist community.

We have been pawns of the devil, working in a mysterious way, we have intelligently designed this lie of evolution in order to try and seperate you from God.

We apologize.

Our world view is the same as yours. God, Jesus, loving God, flat earth that was created 6000 years ago, God made man out of dust and clay.

I'm sorry for all the confusion and ask that lord Jesus accept my forgiveness. I hope all the other atheists out there well also. Come on, burt your science books and globes immediately and get right with the lord.

sorry, i mean burn your science books and globes,

mainworry is right, we only need our bibles

Answer 1

I agree. I'm the one who planted all of those dinosaur bones out there and the skulls of prehistoric man. What was I thinking? I spent so much time putting fossils everywhere just to cause trouble. I hope I am forgiven. I now see the error of my ways.

Answer 2

I think it take a real good man to stand up and fess up when he is wrong about something, and I do hope God forgives you for this. I have never as long as I have written in Yahoo answers ever heard an apology coming from an atheist before but you are the first and I hope in the near future that you won't be the last.

Congratulations for being a man of honor that is deserved of respect not just from me but from many others. Now I don't know how everyone else is going to comment but I can truly say that you have made the devil angry today which you have gained a victory and that is enough to shout HALLELUJAH! Praise our Fathers name.

I hope that you continue on your path of new found life and keep finding the light that Jesus our Lord has showed all of us and I hope you continue this not just because of what you said or what I said but what is in your heart and what you need to do to live right and to love by God's will.

God Bless You, and Good luck on your new found journey! :)

Answer 3

Did I miss the election?? Did the primate people hold a presidential election and you were voted the greatest primate to represent them?? How can you be apologising for the whole of primatism?? Have you evolved this far that you can do this??
I see now that all primates do not follow you and some are not ready to repent of their primatism, so you can not apologise for all. I can not accept for all the God people (made by God in his image & likness) but i do accept your humble and repentant apology and sincerely hope that your don't sail off of the edge of the world.. Be careful if you ever go sailing, or have you evolved to that point?? anyway apology accepted on my part.

Answer 4

Your right, I'm an evil atheist too and it was all part of the International Communist Global Socialistic Earthly Anarchistic Secret Society's master plan.
Luckily the angel of the lord came to all of us in a dream and told us not to be such devil worshipping sodomites. Pheww. I think we all dodged a bullet. We almost went right to hell.
Thank god we saw the light.
Again, please accept our apologies. From now on it's flat planets and divine intervention for us. All our logic just flew right out the window (and into god's hands).

Answer 5

Brother, I feel sorry that you have nothing better to do with your time than to disrespect others by ridiculing their religious beliefs.

There's also the matter of your ignorance -- about Christianity, atheism, creationism, evolution, humor, etc.

I won't take the bait and attack you as you believe Christians will. Nor will I applaud what you obviously believe to be your "clever" back-handed "question".

But, as a Child of God myself (as are you), I will look in sadness at the waste of your time, effort and intelligence, and pray that God will guide you unto a more fruitful path to give your life some meaning.

Answer 6

Well...hell! Took you long enough to see through that, didn't it? I mean, granted, I spent a long time on those dinosaur fossils, but I couldn't believe it the first time one of you lot took them seriously!
And that whole "round Earth" thing? I mean, talk about your simple parlour trick! Done with mirrors mate. No problem to a devious b*stard like me!

So, that's it then? All you scientists and evolutionists and such, you're all gonna just up and leave me? Fine.

No, really, that's fine, leave me after all I've done for you, go on. No problem. I've got the rock musicians for company, go on, go! I don't need you, you ungrateful swine!


Will you at least write and let me know how you get on?

Ok...


Don't be a stranger now...(sniff)



Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'm gonna eat worms....

Answer 7

I must apologize to all the readers of these "answers" for you. I can't believe anyone can understand what all that gibberish means. Exactly what are you trying to get at ?
Try to get more rest, take a short vacation. Don't solve all the problems of the world by yourself. Just take it easy, most everything will go away in time.

Answer 8

What? You mean that god did steal my rib. I want restitution! Let's see, Since the theft happened near the beginning of time and interest and appreciation over 14 billion years... I think I am entitled to 72 trillion dollars for my stolen rib. I expect all of the ladies to pay up!!!

Answer 9

Thank God someone had the guts to say it! Finally I can quit living a lie. Pretty much, I am anti-social, so I wanted to be the only one in Heaven. Sorry! G'bless.

Answer 10

Jim - I wish one day you really do see the light. Flat earth indeed. No real Christian believes the earth is flat.

You had me going for about 2 seconds. Actually not sold, but stunned, wondering.., then you blow it. Shame on you son.

Lean CLOSER this time so I can smack the living poop outta that Tooth Gap of yours.