What do you do with your child moving out and then four months later moves back in with fiance and pregnant?

Answer 1

Request that they move out and get their own place like adults.

Answer 2

Are they in financial trouble? If so, sit down with them and help them get jobs if they don't have them already and create a budget. Set a time limit on how long they will be staying with you. Having a child is really expensive and they may need your help. If you can afford it, charge them rent and either give it back to them when they move out or use the money to buy stuff for the baby because they may not be able to. Of course, don't tell them you're doing this. That will make them be responsible and get in the habit of paying bills on time.

Answer 3

Be wise, Talk to him about his goals. You can help him for a month or two. After that, in this time he will have enough time to get an apartment for rent or buy a house. During these months with you He will need to find a job, If he doesn't have one. And start living his life because at the beginning it was his choice. Don't spoil him, let him grow. Later on , he will appreciate it very much.

Answer 4

Oh God been there done that.... Put a time limit on them living there and stick to it. Before the child is born, you want to be a grandma not a mother. Believe me I know what I'm talking about. They will give you every excuse in the book but don't give in. They will be okay or well make arrangements if they know you are serious. It's not pretty but it is a lot uglier if you let them stay.. Don't learn the hard way like I did.

Answer 5

iwhy did your child move out ? was there some disagreement btw the two of u ? if yes then he/she has no right whatsoever to just "turn up " now that too being pregnant . your child really seems to be irresponsible and immature. however, since he/she is your flesh and blood , i would advise u to look at the situation in a more humane manner. if this is a chance for the both of you to work out your differences and seal a truce then so be it . at the end of the day it will still be your decision taking him/her back in . if you do so please mark your rules carefully . all the best .

Answer 6

You must have tough love for this one. You love your daughter and you don't want to see her hurt but you cannot have them living off of you so that they don't have to live up to their responsibilities. You can't just kick them out. That really isn't going to teach them anything. Tell them they have 30-60 days to find another place. Make sure they have jobs. Help them find of job if needed or help them find a place. It may not be the best of places but it will be a roof over their heads. Don't pay for it! Let them do it. If they want to act like adults they have to be responsible in all areas. Take her to garage sales to help her get some items. Be firm but be supportive too. Let her know that it will be a struggle. If after 30 or 60 days nothing happens then show them to a shelter. She needs to know that you are serious. You need to do this to get her out of the nest. If you make it too comfortable for them then they won't leave.

Also, the baby isn't here yet. Tell the fiancee he has to leave. They aren't married and you will not permit them shacking up under your roof pregnant or not! If they go to the courthouse then fine.

Answer 7

I'm sorry because fiance would not have been able to stay. depending on the circumstances, my child may not have been able to stay either. apparently, she is grown(or so she thought), and though you don't want anything to happen to her in her delicate condition, you have to remember that was a decision she made.

if this is the first time, then think about it. but if she usually makes decisions like this, maybe its time you stopped bailing her out. how will she ever learn to stand on her own two feet if you keep carrying her?
like i tell my three year old, you made a decision, live with it.

Answer 8

The consensus does seem to be they need to move back out.

I'm not sure how someone can "move back in" unless they are permitted to do so... and you are the one who gives that permission to live in your home.

I understand the mothering instinct and how much you want to help, but if a person is ready to get married and they are expecting a baby, then they have now declared themselves to be adults.

They don't get to "have their cake and eat it too" -- either they grow up and take the responsibilities of adulthood along with the privileges, or they should remain children without the power of adulthood.

If it's a situation where they both realized they really messed up and you're helping them temporarily, then that's not quite as bad -- but still awkward and dangerous.

It's always uncomfortable and stressful at least in US culture married kids to live with their parents (there is usually a lot of fighting). You remove the pressing need for them to grow up and become independent as well -- and the tendency will be to leach.

I bet you'll end up buying their food, paying their utilities, helping with clothes, and taking care of "Baby" alot when s/he arrives in five months.

You really want to avoid this. Support them in whatever way you want, but allowing them to live in your house without very specific limitations and a specific "move out" date/stipulation is only asking for trouble for both you and them.

Loving them means encouraging them to take responsibility for their decisions and their lives.

Answer 9

why did you let her move back in? put your foot down...it is your house right? you don't want her there...tell her. (how is your relationship?) if she needs a little help getting a place of her own....offer. be supportive. if you are not close, tell her fiance to get off his *** and get your daughter and their soon to be child a place to live. sounds like he is no good...if he is willing to move into his girl fiends moms house. no respecting man would do that. sounds to me like he does not care a whole lot. so if I were you...I would go to the store, get a news paper, invest in a good magic marker...and tell them to get to circling possible places to live....cuz momma didn't roll out the welcome mat for long. but yeah, bring the grand baby by for visits any time.

Answer 10

Assuming he got in the door before you changed the locks, you need to sit down with him and talk about his share of the rent, and which bills he will be paying, and how much he will contribute for food.
Tell the happy couple welcome to adulthood and get a job.

Answer 11

Remind your child that you did your job and raised your kid. Now it's their turn to do the same with your grandchild. On their own. i'd let my kid back in but not the fiance.