Would you accept my apology on behalf of atheists, we have been lieing about evolution this whole time?

Question

I'm very sorry, on behalf of the entire scientific agnostic and atheist community.

We have been pawns of the devil, working in a mysterious way, we have intelligently designed this lie of evolution in order to try and seperate you from God.

We apologize.

Our world view is the same as yours. God, Jesus, loving God, flat earth that was created 6000 years ago, God made man out of dust and clay.

I'm sorry for all the confusion and ask that lord Jesus accept my forgiveness. I hope all the other atheists out there well also. Come on, burt your science books and globes immediately and get right with the lord.

sorry, i mean burn your science books and globes,

mainworry is right, we only need our bibles

Answer 1

All I need is this lamp, and the remote control, and my dog. And that's it. That's all I need...and this ashtray. And this chair, but that's it. I'll be fine.

Answer 2

Yeah, but if you knew some of the pranks the people in my gene-pool have pulled off you'd have to admit there could've easily have been a Bonobo ape in the mix - hell, maybe even a ferret.

I do think a flat 6,000 year-old earth will solve a lot of problems. The melting polar ice-caps (oops, sorry, I meant side ice-caps) will simply drain off their water off the end of the world. And we're going to save a bundle when we scrap the heresies called paleontology, archeology, etc. - Genesis can be taught in a fraction of the time.

I'm also hoping we can roll back the revisions to the real 6 days it took for His Almightyness to create the universe. For one thing, M-Theory is driving me nuts!

Answer 3

Why couldn't evolution and the Bible's version of Adam and Eve have been sanctioned by God at the same time? Perhaps got created a certain type of ape and then "breathed His Spirit" into that form, and that form became the "homo sapien" or what we call "man.".

After all, we had to have some kind of space suit to get around on this blue marble called "earth," right? =)

Answer 4

i imagine it take a genuine good guy to face up and fess up at the same time as he's incorrect about some thing, and that i do wish God forgives you for this. I easily have in no way see you later as I easily have written in Yahoo solutions ever heard an apology coming from an atheist previously yet you're the first and that i'm hoping contained in the close to destiny that you're going to in no way be the in simple terms precise. Congratulations for being a guy of honor it truly is deserved of appreciate no longer in simple terms from me yet from many others. Now i do not comprehend how each body else is going to remark yet i am going to extremely say that you've made the devil indignant in the present day that you've received a victory and that is sufficient to shout HALLELUJAH! praise our Fathers call. i'm hoping that you proceed on your direction of latest got here across existence and save looking the mild that Jesus our Lord has confirmed absolutely everyone and that i'm hoping you proceed this no longer in simple terms because of what you suggested or what I suggested yet what's on your coronary heart and what you pick to do to stay precise and to love through God's will. God Bless You, and good success on your new got here across journey! :)

Answer 5

God and science are not necessarily contradictory, and nowhere in the Bible does it say that the earth is flat, which it obviously is not. And, there is no way you can be an atheist and believe in Jesus, because atheists claim that there is no God, which really is impossible.

Answer 6

What? You mean that god did steal my rib. I want restitution! Let's see, Since the theft happened near the beginning of time and factoring in interest and appreciation over 14 billion years... I think I am entitled to 72 trillion dollars for my stolen rib. I expect all of the ladies to pay up!!!

Answer 7

Well it's about time, J.D. All the smart people know for a fact that the earth was created 6,000 years ago and human beings descended from Adam & Eve...duuuhhhh.

Answer 8

Well you now need to make amends by doing 6 billion years of community service.

Answer 9

I burned mine yesterday when I discovered that the both the moon and earth were flat.

Answer 10

Apology accepted.
Love & Light
Sharon

Answer 11

Since you have broken the atheist pledge and have released the truth, I am afraid we are going to have to terminate you. Please stay where you are until a termination squad can be released.