I constantly see people using love to manipulate other people. Religious people say if you don't follow what I believe God will not love you and will turn his back on you. In marriage one will withhold or take love away if the other doesn't meet their expectations. Parents and children also use love as a bartering tool. Why can't people just give love freely without expectations? If you were to be honest ,do you see how in your life that you may use love to get what you want? Also how do others use love to manipulate you into behaving or being what they want you to be? Isn't that why so many people lie to their loved ones? So they don't disappoint them or lose them?
Love & Light
Sharon
One Planet = One People
2006-06-22 03:38:24 · 9 answers · asked by skippingsunday 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
People use love as weapon simply because we are human. It hurts. Some people do not mean to do it, my parents love me, they tell me so and show me so, but they use love as a weapon against me. To pressure me at school and make me do things. 'If you loved me you would try harder' or the more subtle 'you're only letting yourself down, we tried our best for you'. Or when they refuse to say 'I love you' back.
I love them dearly, and am lucky to have them, but I too learnt from them to use love as a weapon, as a bartering tool. 'You don't love/trust me, thats why you won't let me do this/stay out.'
To love without expectations is hard because when you love you give, and most of us have bene bought up in a society where we expect something in return for our gifts, in this case we give love and expect something of the person in return.
I know I'm guilty of using it as a weapon, mainly against my parents, I think because I take their love for granted. I don't use it against my friends because I except nothing from them but friendship, they make me angry and upset but I do not try and force them through using our friendship as a weapon though I can see where they (try to) use it against me.
I agree with the last two questions... I lie to my parents because I don't want to dissapoint them, and to my friends because I do not wnat them to think less of me.
Edit: Love can be used indirectly and unintentionally as a weapon by people who you love simply because you love them.
2006-06-22 04:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by Maiden 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think, love that is conditional... that is not really love. It is selfishness, or... who knows?
If you tell somebody "I love you, BUT..." or "I love you, ONLY IF" that is bizarre. I tend to reject such "love" that is always trying only to fix me and change me - it is no good.
However, we mustn't forget that love involves also CARE. So, if somebody cares about you, they may use love as a manipulation or weaponry tool, thinking that they are guiding you in the best direction. They do it because they care, and... let's be honest..... sometimes it proves useful, especially in education.
It is funny because they really have the best intention, rooted in love, while doing this - and then you wake up that the root becomes the catch. That's just how we humans are, I guess.
Don't blame us for this... :-)
2006-06-23 22:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by warm candlelight and tea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely isn't nice to witness all that you've mentioned, particularily the meek victimized by maliciousness. I beleive it has to do with learnt behavior, poor nurturing, and greed. I've met a lot of people with such emotional scars...it's just awful! Thank goodness there's some of us left out there that do care! It's so refreshing...to come acrosss someone who is on the same page, so to speak. Your questions are inspiring! So glad you're in the light!
2006-06-22 11:01:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love its difficult to define love is something of the spirit its a feeling that does not die, what people believe is love is really not love it is affection and lust and craving which when fulfilled goes away, love for a parent love for a sibling love for wealth love for food love love love it goes on and on its a physical form of attachment which is used for manipulation and bartering,the feeling hurt pain sorrow is all a part of life love very few people are lucky to share and experience, elizabeth barret browning has written a beautifull poem on love as she lay in her bed as an invalid, how much do i love thee let me count the ways, read it
2006-06-22 10:51:16 · answer #4 · answered by cluelesskat maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason we can't love freely is fear. Loving someone gives them power to hurt you. Truely loving someone means respecting them, and to be rejected by someone you respect is devistating. That's probably not what you were talking about.
2006-06-22 11:13:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we love, we give. That is a recipe for disaster, if we are not loved in return. In God's love there is none of the human traits of jealousy and greed.
2006-06-22 10:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by jmmevolve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is manipulation involved is it love ? or is love freely given?
2006-06-22 10:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by RenoDeano 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judging from what I have gathered from people around me, love hurts.
And they want to make you think you will be hurt if their nonexistant deity doesn't love you.
2006-06-22 10:43:08 · answer #8 · answered by bloody_gothbob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Human, mean selfish creature!
2006-06-22 10:48:43 · answer #9 · answered by imran 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋